
Why does Seungho look so conflicted about having sex with Nakyum? The sex is hot and all that but it feels like they both are in pain amd it broke my heart

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Idk how I feel about this. Nakyum seems to be at a downward spiral and want to use sex as a distraction, since SH has always force it on him previously. Even though he did feel good on some occasion. But from SH expression, it feels like he is emphatising with NK, as if he went through the same thing NK went through. Idk. Maybe I am interpreting everything wrongly.

Well, Seungho on the one hand is smart enough to know why Nakyum wants to embrace him. He doesn't want to be a replacement for Inhun. But he still gives in because of the seduction and because he can't resist Nakyum.
He wants it as bad as the boy and he seems to be also hungry for Nakyums affection (?)
On the other hand, Nakyum just wants to be distracted from the hurtful things Inhun said to him. He seems to be still in pain from it so that's why he tells Seungho to fuck him harder until his mind becomes completely blank. ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ノ~

Maybe, just a theory, remember when he refused to drink his energy replenishing stuff after that sleepless night few chapters back? Maybe he decided to go easy on this after riding NK almost to death. In the first chapters it was stated that he had problems with erection and that's why he was seeking the painter. He really 'enjoyed' his paintings - meaning they were helping him get aroused.
So back to the medicine. We know NK was making him super horny. Now double that effect with the medicine he was still taking and that possibly resulted in SH as we know him. After almost killing NK maybe he had some reflection on the matter and that's why he refused to drink it. And fast forward to now, he might have clearer view on the situation. He's more rational, because the aphrodisiac isn't messing with his mind and he's more reluctant to jump on the second rodeo?
And so he has second thoughts about giving in. He can clearly see NK is in distress, he's very clever. And also he's careful, knowing NK might be doing it for the teacher of course. On top of that, he might be showing some empathy now as well, being sober

This story had so much potential to be a great story. A yakuza and a tattoo artist with heart reaking back stories but the author made it rushed and the ending was unsatisfactory af. No hate to the author but she could have made this story so much better by focusing more on the two ML instead of showing us the abusive ex's backstory
This is a beautiful story that leaves you with a bittersweet feeling but the ending was kinda disappointing for me