
all the yaois i've read to this day, rape never bothered me. Because it's fictional and sometimes its about kinks and stuff and not real so idc in the end, however this manga really felt like a real life story and living the things that nao lived is unforgivable. In the end it felt like author tried to justify the rape... He slapped him and than raped him and nothing happened as if it's a natural occurrance.

Honestly, now I'm wondering if it's normal in Japanese society that's why it is normalised in their media. Like I get there's this patriarchal hierarchy and that could be translated into yaoi as "the top" and appeasing him whatnot. Then it's their normalisation of a lot of (extreme) genres in their porn (e.g., rape, molestation) that it skews their definition of what is okay in non-porn media. While I consume the content, wondering about it being possibly normal kinda irl kinda scares me.

does anyone know where can i find raws?

It's not scanlated yet. Next chapter just came out in the October issue of a serialized bl manga called Daria that comes out every 3 months.
You can by it off of Amazon.jp.
https://www.fwinc.jp/daria/magazine/
WHAT THE FUCK (╯°Д °)╯╧╧