this story is so wrong in so many ways. the complex relationship between the characters are disgusting and unbearable. it seemed like each and every one of them are selfish and have no seld-respect. they act upon their desires and commit indecent acts.
in some way it is understandable, but the cost of giving into your selfish needs, unnecessarily involves other people and damage them in strange ways as well.
as terrible and awful this story is, it's not that different from reality. this may seem like fiction but it happens more in real life than some think. it just happens to be that you don't witness it or that some hide it better than you realize.
I hate reading this story, but the disgustingly complexity and depth these characters have is intriguing to me and attracts me to read further.
I hope that everyone in their right mind learns to have respect for oneself. don't ever try to change yourself and commit acts to please other people or to get their attention. you're better than that and you know it.
from beginning to end you are the true embodiment of nobility. by which I mean not status, but your soul. the way you humbled yourself in the face of despair and death, yet still find perserverance to strive forward unwaveringly is far more commendable than one can imagine.
you did not wallow yourself in self-pity despite the inferiority you felt when met with a genius, instead you shaped yourself to be better, though you weren't content with how far you've come, everyone around you was. they gave you what you couldn't to yourself, even in denial of your abilities they entrusted themselves to you and celebrated your existence.
it is quite unfortunate to meet such an end and to be left in the vast depth of the cold and dark ocean. even so my lovely yvolka, know that you matter, back then and in the present. you did well. all I wish is for you to rest well in your eternal slumber, may you find peace for yourself.









This is smut for the girls. A GOLDEN FIND