I can actually relate to the uke, but in a less extreme sense. I don't do it anymore, but as a little girl, I used to set up situations in order to make myself feel unloved and unwanted. I'm not sure when it started, but I guess it was a form of masochism born from my need to cope with being ripped away from my loving mother and raised with mean children and crappy babysitters because my dad would rather my mom suffer than his daughter be happy and healthy.
Basically, it's the sense that if someone supposedly loves or cares about you, some part of you has to prove it isn't true. It isn't that you actually like it. It's more of a compulsion. I don't know why I did it. Maybe to prove to myself that I was incapable of being loved. If someone claimed to care about me, I was much more likely to lash out at them or hurt them. Granted, I moved past that by high school, and I was never cruel to anyone but myself. I just understand where that comes from. I don't know, it's dumb, but this manga really got to me because of that. The uke doesn't want to be vulnerable, so he acts like a dick. He's testing this guy, but pretending it's because he doesn't care. That way he won't get hurt. But secretly, he wants the guy to keep passing the tests. Not-so-secretly by the end, hence the tears.
It made me cry, too. I know a lot of people are hating on the character, but I think it's clear he's just a damaged person. Doesn't mean the seme should just tolerate the abuse, but I'd like to imagine a future with them working through all of this together. Maybe they can even be friends with the other kid? I like that it's open but it's still so sad.
I really understand where you’re coming from, that’s why I can’t help but get why the main character acted like how he did. Thanks for putting it into words, hopefully readers can better understand the uke even if it’s just a bit
damn, thank you so much for this comment. this made me realize a lot of things when i was younger. i did stop having that "i know you really hate me" syndrome, but it's nice to finally know why i did such things to my friends and family.
i thought it was just a sadistic, sick thing, but i never did really like it--i just couldn't stop. it's really a compulsion, a test if they would detest and leave me. maybe it's bc of how im used to be alone and lonely. it's nice how i grew out of it. i hated myself for hurting my friends and family, so i'm glad that i hate myself less now bc i stopped doing that.
This is the exact sort of manga I've been craving for ages. It can't just end because no one else wants to pick it up. If anyone out there can translate, I will seriously team up with you to put out the rest of the series. I'm comfortable with photoshop, and this manga is worth the effort.
Wish I could help but if you make it happen I’d be forever grateful.
I mean, spread the word if you know of anyone. Now and then I find translators who are seeking help on other yaoi projects, but they're always from many months or years ago. I speak a bit of Japanese (though it's been years since I've used it) but I can't read kanji.
“-)
I'm glad so many other people are getting the "mentally challenged" vibe, because I was trying to decide if the mangaka was doing that on purpose or not. However, it might not be that he's delayed, and he doesn't seem malicious, so I wonder if his character is supposed to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Social cues and norms are challenging for autistic people, and they tend to take others at their word. Because most of their communication is screaming and crying on Ume's part, and Hara asking questions that seem too obvious to merit answers, it could just be that Hara truly doesn't understand what he's doing wrong.
That being said, I still really hate the relationship that he has with Ume, and I hate that Ume just tolerates it, defends it, and acts like he has to give up everything and just live with it. I would love to see Hara feel some of Ume's pain, but I'm just hoping this doesn't keep being the same dumb lack of communication for the next few chapters.
As an autistic person myself, he could be on the autism spectrum as well! I´m always super confused when I´m in a relationship and I need my partner to exactly tell me what´s going on and how they feel. And I end up doing dumb shit anyway. (￣∇￣")
Not that I´m defending him or anything, and I get that Ume was afraid of being left, but in the end isn´t being honest much easier? Especially when you´re suffering anyway. (￣∇￣")
I completely agree! I think all couples should be open and honest with one another. Waiting for someone to read your mind helps no one.
Holy crap! An update four years later? Gives me hope for other dropped projects.
Uuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh, this is killing me. I'm dying. I'm dead.
But this story is so unusual, and I love it so much. I just hope the ending is satisfying. However it goes, while I would strongly prefer that they all break the idea that you can only ever be with your fated pair, I just want them all to be happy. Even Taiga, but first he has to stop being a dick and just admit that he cares about Rin, and that he seriously fucked up and betrayed his actual fated pair. He does NOT deserve him after what he did. At least Rin got a slightly better behaved Taiga, but that boy needs to get his ass kicked before he's allowed a happily ever after with either omega.
Why did multiple Harada work get false updates/notifications? That's just cruel. I was so excited, then it turned out it was either stuff that had already been posted, or there wasn't an update at all.
So many things about this series crush my heart. It's one of the VERY few BL anime out there with an actual plot. Of the, like 30 BL yaoi that exist, half are smut, and the rest are just typical straight guys falling in love BS. The handful that have a story and a passionate love with a high stakes premise are all really short, and pretty much all of them have either a downer ending or a bittersweet ending. The closest we ever get otherwise is bromance or hints of shounen ai so as not to scare of the fragile straight boys. I'm so frustrated.
This series has everything I want to see in more anime, but it's short, and the ending is pointlessly sad. I get it, they'll be together one day, but why do they need to part at all? There are so many het series that have happy endings, even when they shouldn't. Het romance almost always works out, and you just don't get this kind of bummer let down.
It's just frustrating. I wouldn't mind it as much if there were more options. I'd love to have some nice variety, but instead all I have are a bunch of sad stories with actual m/m romance, and a bunch of anime where maybe they could sorta like each other but let's make sure there are female counterparts so nothing is too gay.
Whatever. That's my rant. I just really, really wish something like this, only much longer and with an earned happy ending existed. I mean, even BL manga is 90% fluff. It sucks when you're a person who only feels attachment to a romance if the characters are both male, 'cause chances are, you are going to suffer. I feel like nearly every M/M story out there is either mindless porn, shallow romance, or your typical tragic gays. I'm so over it. I just want to be able to watch a beautiful anime with a great story and some boys kissing now and then. I feel like that isn't much to ask. x_x
I love your rant and agree with you 100%. You are a great writer with wonderful ideas. Maybe you should try writing that story. I would definitely read what you described. I am sure that many would, because you are absolutely right. Anime and manga in this genre are truly lacking.
Aw, thank you so much! That's so sweet of you to say. Actually, I am a writer, starting out in the film industry. If I ever manage to reach my goals, I'll definitely do everything I can to start making that stuff more common.
Did you watch or read Banana fish? I think you will like it. But the ending is damn sad tho. Ah, Kings maker too!! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Yeah, I actually have all of them from when they were still being released from Viz. I hate sad endings, though, so the whole series was ruined for me. It felt so cheap and random to throw in that final scene in the last book. Does Kings Maker have a sad ending too? Part of why I didn't like the ending for No. 6 is that the two of them parting was sad, so people dying is definitely a no go for me, haha.
Same tbh. I loved their relationship but that sad ending...Killed me. I frickin hate sad endings lmao. Kings Maker is still ongoing btw! The first season is completed, second season is still ongoing. I hope you will like it. The story is good and gosshhh! The art is ao beautiful ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
Wow, that really was surprising, and I'm glad I noticed spoilers saying it was actually awful before I read it. It seemed like she'd fall in love with her sweet new friend. I don't see why it's classified as yuri, since it seems to focus mostly on a girl who loves a guy, but since the project is apparently dropped, we'll never really know. I don't like most het stuff, especially not torture-filled, hopeless stuff, but I wanted to know how this ended. I wonder if anyone will ever continue it.
The whole time I kept saying when will she reach her breaking point and go on a killing spree!
Ew, that one chick got to live? I hated her, like I really, really wanted to see her die. Not only did she get to live, she got a happy ending? She was so annoying, and I wanted her to get eviscerated.
So stupid. I hope the neighbor gets to them first, despite their smug, stupid faces and certainty that they'll get the jump on her.
This artist did such a great job! I wish there were other works by her on this site. Also, haven't seen the anime this is based on, but knowing it won't actually be gay and fun like this, I struggle to push myself to check it out. If it isn't a het-brigade, I might just have to watch it, though.