
and.....the fact that their idea of ikemen is a Shota is already a huge problem for me. they clearly don't understand that we want someone like the dude from solo leveling, any of the blood link men, the men from your wish is my command, the dad from suddenly became a princess one day...there's just so many and they choose a Shotacon pov...I'm outskies

the pale Dom is a master psychologist versed in bdsm.
he understands how much to push and how much to pull.
He knows that if the partner is feeling too uncomfortable, there's always a way out and makes sure he gives his partner that rope.
I can see why he's so well respected by the community..and is well known by those establishments...he understands what people need, what turns them on, and most importantly getting their consent and making sure they feel safe.

every time I see the line "I'm a man too you know. I'm not harmless" I start to cringe now.

now that I think about it, yea ultimately. lol.
the intent behind a character saying that because he wants the female lead to think of him as a guy too..in a romantic sense.and not be friend zoned. that he also has intimacy desires and wants to touch the female lead...even if it's just kissing. A guy who has all the intentions of staying friends will not say this at all. they won't bring it up because it's platonic.
but STILL a girl says she feels safe with you because she knows that you won't do anything untoward or anything without consent..yet this statement does slightly imply that you could at one point do sexual things to the girl without her consent. and in this case she would welcome any advances so long as it's him. one because she is a succubus who needs to be fed and two because she genuinely likes him and is comfortable with him.
even if you have those urges, and find the other sexually attractive, you could still be a gentleman and tell them to kindly move away because you have those urges and don't want to do anything that's unbecoming. it still doesn't mean you can go around touching the other person if they say no.
this was so cute T.T