Things U Do When Ur Sad

so i was forced to join my school's volleyball team back in 7th grade, because they were lacking players. in 8th grade, i didn't want to play anymore, but the coach said that they needed me and i couldn't say no. i thought i would only play for my school's intramurals, but it was too late when the coach told me that i would play in regional. i was scared asf, but luckily we placed 1st. i was about to quit in 10th grade, but the coach guilt tripped me.i didn't want to fail my team,but i was having anxiety that it affected my play and we lost.
my fear of losing was so severe that i cant play volleyball anymore, i cant even watch any sports tournaments, because the sounds in the court scare me. i even dropped reading/watching sports mangas/anime, cause i relate to most of the characters, and it gives me flashbacks. i want to go back playing, but i just cant.

is it possible to have a phobia on sports, specifically volleyball?

I'm trying to get into my zoom for 3rd period
And I forgot that I was on a zoom with Levi's cleaning rag yesterday so I forgot to change my name so they all saw Forg as me
I'm still not in the zoom