What kind of life would you see yourself in, if the Yaoi universe exists?

Surely we all fantasise once in awhile while reading our yaoi mangos <3 Of all the fantasises that you've had, what is your most ideal?


For my case, I imagine that i am a male, only likes guys but is afraid to hang out wth them so i'm mostly with my girl-friends. My seme type is the overprotective strong silent types like Ayumi (Fushidara na Hanatsumi Otoko) or Aikawa (Mujihi Na Anata; Warui Series). Did i mention that having a strong sexual thirst is good too ? ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

My yaoi life as i fantasise, is that I would meet my seme through mutual friends, likely from work. My tipsy nervousness being next to my crush would get his attention and he would try to open up to calm me down. I am not always a nervous wreck, just that with someone I like, I tend to be a bit more jumpy. I would love how he makes the effort, and would occasionally fawn over it subtly. He would know that i am gay, but wouldn't mind much of my PDA. we are just friend after all. After awhile, I would gather up my courage to confess my feelings for him one day. He would take it with slight indifference and hesitation at first, maybe even avoiding me to gather his thoughts. Once or twice, he might deny knowing me in front of his friends. Which would upset me entirely.

I would pour myself entirely into work. We work in the same company but in different departments. Hence I would make the effort to avoid any confrontation with him. He would try to approach me several time but unconsciously i would avoid him. (Him) One step forward, (mine) two steps back. Until one day when he has had enough and corners me, asking for forgiveness (albeit in the more action-first, talk-later manner). I would happily become his lover, but never dare to make much PDA as before as the emotional trauma would be still fresh.