That One Time I became an Evil Fairy by Stealing my Friend's Twinkie

Alright, it's story time y'all. Gather round!
One day, I was sitting with my friend in the cafeteria. My friend came back with a handsome looking, bold tasting twinkie in one corner of her tray. Due to my shitty religion I oh so wanted to leave, I had to fast. I had been fasting for 6 hours, and when I took a look at that sexy twinkie, I couldn't control my desire. I wanted to ravish it, to taste every inch of it and make it know that it belonged to my tummy and my tummy only. Suddenly, my friend got up to go to the bathroom to vomit because of the horrible cafeteria food, and I thought "This is my chance!" I ate the twinkie in 5 whole bites, and I kid you not, it tasted sweeter than my aunt's breast milk. My friend came back looking so haggard that I could tell she forgot about the twinkie.
That night, I got all comfy in my bed, fluffed my pillows, and went to sleep. Suddenly, I woke up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my back. It felt like something was growing. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and saw that my eyes were black and I had grown edgy looking wings! I didn't remember ever being into goth fashion! But then, a tiny fairy flew through my window and told me "Young horny-for-twinkies child, I see that you have done a heinous crime. But do not worry bitch, for I support you. From now on, you shall steal all the twinkies in the world and eat them! But only on one condition, your deed to your friend." That sounded really easy to me so I agreed!
The next day at school, I told my friend that I stole her twinkie from the other day and ate it. She killed me, and now I lie in hell writing this. Ugh, that fairy bitch tricked me. But anyways, NEVER steal twinkies guys!!!! kay love y'all, bye!!! Needa go fondle satan's tits real quick