How has yaoi improved your life? (*WARNING: INCREDIBLY LONG*)

I have a bit of an odd tale to tell, but it may not be the only tale of its kind. I used to fear men. It wasn't that I would see one and actually scream or anything, I was just hesitant to interact with them and overtime, due to a mixture of my own weird thoughts and weird friends, I had developed a mindset that made me believe that it was weird for people of the opposite gender to interact with each other unless they were in love with each other, and in that case they should be going out. It was awful. Obviously, I realize how messed up that way of thinking was at this point in my life. It was just that no one had ever told me anything to counteract these beliefs. Soon enough, I started to feel left out. More and more people were just intermingling, regardless of gender, in a non-romantic way. Even I was finding guys more interesting in that aspect. I felt that we might actually have more in common than what I had with girls. Nevertheless, I was still afraid. I was afraid of how people would react, I was afraid of being rejected, I was afraid of everyone. I wanted to change that. I needed to put more of myself out there, take a risk. Not too long after I had that revelation, I switched schools. I made it one of my goals to make more friends, no matter the gender. And I did, it wasn't as hard as I had made it out to be in my head. It had kind of helped me that I had given up all kinds of romantic thoughts at that point (even I'm still confused about this, don't ask). Basically, I looked at people more as- people. However, there was still that underlying fear that everyone was looking down on me, and if I interacted with more guys something bad was gonna happen. TIME LEAP- Here's a summary of what happened sometime during all that jazz (note how I don't say "quick"): I started watching anime one night when I was bored and I discovered that it actually wasn't trash (as had been drilled into the past me's mind). I spent nearly an ENTIRE summer sitting in my bedroom watching anime. It was sad. I bought a Blue Exorcist shirt (It was too small, but I treasured it too much to ever return it. It sits in my closet to this day). Anyways, I already held a sort of fascination regarding the LGBTQ+ community around that time, but I didn't actually know a lot about it. I just knew that people could love each other, even if they were the same gender, and that sometimes people wanted to be a different gender than the one they were born as. I had never really gotten much of an explanation beyond that, the people around me just didn't really talk about it. They didn't really talk about a lot of things. That was when, like a beam of light, I was looking at the Anime Romance category on Hulu (sue me, I love Hulu, it crushes Netflix in all their selections don't argue with me I'll fight you) and suddenly, I see a colorful looking banner (what else should I call that thing? I really don't know) for a show called "Love Stage!". I immediately locked onto that image out of all the others. I already had my suspicions at that point, and so I decided to turn to the best source of all: Google. Thus, I discovered yaoi. It started with me whizzing through the entirety of Love Stage! in one night. Then it was Junjou Romantica. Soon after that, I switched to manga, seeing as it had even more yaoi opportunities. At first, I was a bit shocked to see such *cough cough- ahem* graphic materials. But I enjoyed them, and that was part of what shocked me the most. I remember the very moment that I had to pause my reading to say out loud: "Yep. I'm a pervert now. Oh well." I had resigned myself to my fate, and it felt wonderful. What I didn't expect from that was that I was more aware of men's FEELINGS. Even when I had been on my mission to make more friends, I had operated off of the idea that if you did certain things, you could make yourself seem more relatable. There was this idea that said that men didn't feel the same things as women, that men were either nerdy or goofy robots. By getting more immersed into the BL world, I read so many shounen ai and yaoi that focused on the complicated emotions that boys felt about things like family and love. I realized that maybe we really weren't different at all. Maybe that way of thinking was just an odd thing that society had perpetuated overtime to make people more divided. I started to LISTEN more to what my friends were saying, instead of analyzing our conversations to see what the "appropriate" response was. I felt more happy and free than I ever had before, and I could see more of those emotions reflected on those close friends that I had made during that time. I could see when they were upset, I could see when they were overjoyed, I could see them. It was the most magical feeling in the world. I learned more and more about things like gender equality, LGBTQ+ rights, etc. I began to look at people in a new light, a beautiful light. I became a more educated person, a more open person, and a more happy person. Yaoi helped me to become the person that I am today. I have actual EMOTIONS now, which is pretty cool. My love for yaoi helped me love myself and others. For that, I must thank it. How has yaoi improved your life?