Guys I only have until October to live send me ur best memes for jesus

(RANT) I got fucking CAD and I've been dealing with alooot of shit, i ruined my relationships just cus I was going thru alot like idk bullying and crap and my ex-friends don't want anything to do with me anymore and I feel like super guilty to the point I just wanna die faster for them lolol I literally gave myself away to my ex just for him to stop harassing them. I just honestly give up. I'm desperate asf for a closure I won't get, I should just move on but I freaking can't. I FEEL BAD OKAY CUS I DIDNT MEANT TO DO THOSE THINGS. I STILL CARED AND ACTUALLY LOVED THEM. I'm not mentally okay, therapy was shit. I just honestly don't wanna do this anymore. I don't know what I'm doing with my life and I keep making stupid decisions that just harms me as long as I can make things right again, I sincerely regret everything that happened, I regret getting upset and being so depressed it affected my friends. I didn't wanna hurt them nor drain them or wtv negative shit, i just was so frustrated at everything at my life I hated everything and I'm just so desperate that I'm venting on mangago. I don't even know what else to say anymore lol

Tldr: just give them memes to me before I whoosh away lol