Does size really matter?

This question never leaves me tbh. I’m a girl still a virgin with no experience like not at all. I’m 17 and never had a bf or anything and I read a looooooottttttttt of smut mangas or just romance mangas and tbh Im kinda disappointed that the size of the men in mangas isn’t real so I’m really scared that when I will have my first time I will be disappointed or sum. I’m really scared that he has a small ahh dih So tell me about your experiences or how you are handling this