Help

I wanna keep this short because i feel so idk overwhelmed and this makes me go non verbal but i desperately need to tell this. Ok my home situation is like the rapunzel. Thats literally it. My mom never lets me go out unless its with her or my older brother. I lost so many (you wont believe how many) friendships because of this shit. One friendship that i have isnt even as deep because we never get to hang out much at all. I have a boyfriend who lives about 40 minutes away. We planned to meet on sunday but unfortunately my mom happened and i told him we had to cancel. I felt so fucking guilty and upset and unfair that i came along with this buggage. It isnt fair for him. Hes sweet and patient yes but after a while he messaged saying hes also upset and wants to talk. I feel myself withdrawing and becoming avoidant. I dont wanna talk. I just want to sleep. I give up at this point. For once i thought i could go out like a normal girl but suddenly my mom happened. Ps i will be turning 23 this year.