End of a Saga
Not that anyone is following. I had a mutual friend tell the guy I like that there was a high possibility that I like him (this is after he asked another friend if I might like him and when prompted his own thoughts, said that he had never thought about it before). Now with more confirmation, he told our mutual friend that no matter what, he was not going to start anything now (we've been friends for 2 years) because he's graduating. Although this doesn't really tell me how he feels about me specifically, it's clear he's going to do whatever it takes to protect himself, even if he does have feelings. I think he's been avoiding me, as he walks away every time I'm talking to our friends. I just have to accept that this is what it is. I'm bummed, but kind of expected this. Thanks for reading.
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I kinda figured it would end this way, but you seemed really hopeful in your last few posts so I kept my mouth shut. From my pov, it's clear that he was never interested in a romantic relationship with you since the start. I think he's been trying to let you down easy by saying things like he wants to focus on school, he wants to start as friends first, he doesn't want to start a relationship when he's leaving soon, etc. I think you're still holding on to some hope that he has feelings for you but he can't act on them for reasons. I'm sorry, but I think the reality is that your feelings were likely never reciprocated. You'll realize this even more when he does get into a relationship and all those barriers you thought he had against relationships don't actually exist.
I know it sucks, but honestly, I think this would've ended badly even if he did say yes. He sounds like he would be a neglectful lover and I think you would've ended up feeling incredibly lonely in a relationship with him.
Let yourself face the reality. It's ok to be sad. Being delulu about a guy is basically a rite of passage. One day you'll be able to look back at this time and laugh.
Yeah you're totally right. I definitely was holding on to that hope, which came from a lot of things he did last year i couldn't explain (stalking my social media, staring at me all the time during club meetings, etc) and i think the encouragement from my and his friends did not help me lol. I should just accept it all as him being a weird person I'll never understand. I did know that he liked someone else but he never made a move on her, which proves that you're right that he wouldn't take initiative and it'd be lonely.
In a year or two I'll probably cringe about this lmao...
Thanks for following along