“ I really need some honest advice

I’m 17 and preparing for a college entrance exam, but I’m struggling a lot mentally. I’ve dealt with depression before, and I’ve always been very emotionally closed off—keeping everything inside and pretending I’m okay.

I’m also lesbian, and accepting myself has been difficult because of how I was raised and what I was taught to believe about homosexuality. I feel very alone and disconnected from the people around me.

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of suicidal thoughts, and I’m finding it really hard to cope with them. I don’t want to hurt myself. I want to stay safe and get through these thoughts, but I don’t know how. At the same time, I’m trying to keep studying and move forward with my life, which feels incredibly difficult.

How do you keep yourself safe when suicidal thoughts become overwhelming? How do you learn to accept yourself, recover from depression, and keep going without losing yourself in the process?

I’m not looking for judgment or pity. I’d genuinely appreciate some honest, kind advice from anyone who has been through something similar.