I think sometimes I forget how what I write may seem to someone who may be timid. Although my fandom of choice changes over time, I've been fan-girling online since the days of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Yes, I am that old). This won't mean anything to those outside the BtVS fandom, but the original "Bangle" v. "Spuffy" schism inspired deeper and longer flame wars than any "team" inspired by Twilight. I think I have only seen more carnage in political forums. Once you get used to that, it kind of raises the bar for the type of things that stand out as particularly nasty.
Of course, that was before the days of doxxing and people taking these arguments into real life. To me, that takes it from merely crossing the line to insane stalker territory.
I realized *after* I replied, "oh... Kin was commenting on what THEY said... not me", started to reply back to explain that I misread that, and then just decided to just go ahead and eat my fail, lol.
(I'm editing documents and "playing" on websites at the same time. Not successfully, apparently.)
I'm just as guilty at succumbing the urge to tell people off for their stupid stuff.
Uhm, I'll accept any accusations of stupidity for what I'm about to say but this is going to be an honest statement meaning what it really does: I don't really understand this as a reply. I mean, I understand the statements but I don't know why say them as a reply to what I just said? Maybe I've been sounding too concerned about why people said that thing after I said this thing but I'm purely just curious (and feeling stupid) now, partly since you just shared quite a bit about yourself there.
My first "fandom" was pre-internet: Star Wars (yes, I am THAT old, Anoni, lol!). It was a tat more difficult in those days to keep in touch, but I grew up with that (I was nine when the first movie came out) and even in the pre-internet days there were ways to meet and get together (hell, people actually wrote LETTERS in those days!).
My first internet fandom was around 1996, 1997 and that was - and yes, I know how that sounds! - "Lord of the Dance/Feet of Flames". And I have to say in those early days that was the best community ever and I haven't seen one like this ever since. I have been to shows and then fan meetings in my own country as well as abroad. In the summer 1997 I met with people from every continent in London and it was an amazing time. Online, yes, there was the occasional bickering, but nothing like what you would find nowadays. Back then, people in the community really had each other's back. The occasional troll was artfully ridiculed and kicked out of the door. It was my first and still remains my best online community experience. Back then, the internet was all about people comming together, it was such a positive experience! I was also active in the "Lord of the Rings" fandom at the highpont (and before that) and there we also had a fantastic national community that is active to this day and we meet once a year.
One of the fiercest communities (like the Buffy folks) was LOST. The fight between the Jack/Kate and Sawyer/Kate supporters was a nasty and bitter one for years. Just watching people attacking each other eventually spoiled the show for me (not to mention the really shitty end, lol!).
And nowadays I stay out of it all. Given how times have changed in terms of Social Media, I have become extremely careful and private. I think one experience too many will do that to you... Sad, but true: Back in 1996 I thought the internet woudl bring people from all over the world closer together, that it would help extinguish precudices and stereotype about other people. In the end? It has only turned out to be the media with which to SPREAD precudices and stereotypes QUICKER. I love the internet for the information I get from it. I hate it for what it has done to us as a society - online and in real life.
Oh, and one community I was never a fan of, but which is particularly nasty is the Sherlock/Benedict Cumberbatch fandom. They have to groups, the "nannies" and the "spectics" (I think) and it is all about whether Mr Cumberbatch's marriage to wife Sophie Hunter is a PR scam or not. First they said: "That's not his girlfriend.", then "she is not pregnant", then "she is pregnant, but it's not his.", then "they are not getting married", then "they just pretended to get married, but didn't", then "they "will divorce before the end of the year". Fans from either side slipped Cumberbatch notes about suposed stalker fans from the other fans during ComiCon. Martin Freeman and his wife received death threads by fans because they criticized their behaviour. "Fans" were doing calculations online with a pregnance calculator to see if the kid could actually be his. They were even - not kidding - attempts to optain a copy of the marriage certificate and the baby's birth certificate. It is - directed at the stars of Sherlock and regarding the fan camps fighting each other - a level of vitriol, hate, bullying, trolling, violation of privacy, stalking and endangerment of people's lives which I have NEVER EVER seen in all my life. It's like a absolute madhouse. To give you an idea:
http://sophiehuntergossipblog.tumblr.com/
That is just... all sorts of deranged. Woah.
Oh, sometimes my mind takes weird turns. What you said seemed pretty accepting, and this is a topic that affects many fandoms. You said "My bad" as if this happens only to you. I just kind of kept chatting about how it happens all over. :)
Wow. I won't apologize for shipping fictional characters, but the actors who play them (and their families) deserve respect. I am a casual Sherlock fan, and I ship Johnlock, but the most I can condone is wanting the character John to leave the character they created as John's wife. I have also used the term "Cumberbuns" but I meant it in the nicest, least dehumanizing way possible. Damn, I think that fandom is not for me.
PS As an aside, I saw a video the other day that claimed the Sherlock Holmes novels had the first documented book-based "geek" fandom (as opposed to sports fandoms). I say "documented" because for all I know fandoms have been fighting since the first storyteller. But Sherlock book fans were the first to demand a creator bring back a character after the author killed him (and it worked).
I just think it's funny that Sherlock fans are still so passionate. I mean, It sucks for the actors who get pulled into the rotten side of fandoms, but it is interesting.
I went off yesterday bec. I had enough. After weeks of it I had reached my limit. I put up the snarly remarks and RealOrFake nasty sexual cracks and I took it. When they changed their name to Dare , I cont. to ignore them . But yesterday , It built up and I let it go.. So you don't know how it feels They are not after any one but me. At first , I felt bad about my outburst. They did not attack my opin. my points of views, or logic. But their nasty clawing over time got to me. Sorry I'm human. I will not be a punching bag for any one. I'm glad I let loose even if it sounded" biblical". I had simply had enough. I will not take it any more.
Oh dear. That sounds like quite a bit of drama was going on. Sorry I missed that, but from what you describe that sounds oddly familiar, like that one troll that keepings coming here and opens threads provoking people and telling everyone how much fan he/she is having in doing so. RealorFake certainly rings a bell. That one has been coming here over the last few weeks/months. And there is certainly nothing subtle about them. I just didn't realize that the attacks were primarily focused on you, RB, I always thought it was more of a general troll thing along the lines of "you manga idiots all suck" (I remember one of the threads that started like that).
And too right. You are noone's punching bag or punching ball. Fully understandable you needed to let off some steam. So don't worry too much about that happening. In general I find that what they want most is attention and creating havoc. So the best way to fight them is to quietly ignore them, because it starves them out and the lose interest eventually. So I think you are on the right track there, girl, but I also no it's super, super hard when people get personal. *big hugs*
That's pretty mental, right? And that is just ONE Tumblr blog.
I, for one, have always enjoyed what you've had to say and I like hearing your ideas, RB. I don't respond to much or post much, as I stated to Romance, I keep quiet most of the time, but I just want to let you know that I'm your quiet supporter! Only thing you can do now is move on and start again after all that's said and done. :)
Yes, I'm like you, I would also classify myself as a casual Sherlock fan. I have always loved the books, love the show, but no fandom activity. And like you said, nothing wrong with shipping fictional characters, because they are just that, fictional. It won't hurt them. But when it comes to the actors and their family? That's where it should never ever go. It's sad that so many people don't know how to draw the line.
The sad thing is: During season 2 Sherlock was the reason I first checked out Tumblr and it was actually quite fun back then to read people's enthusiastic reactions to the show, there was so much creativity and humor there. Everyone was really into it, but in a good way. I discovered Sherlock right before Reichenbach Fall. That night Tumblr imploded, it was quite remarkable. And then there were all those great theories about how he had pulled it off. Fantastic. But it all went downhill and became this bitter battle during season 3 and now Tumblr is basically a killing field with regards to Sherlock. That fandom is poisoned beyond repair.
Regarding Johnlock: I think it's fun playing around with the idea and I mean, even Moffat and Gattiss do it, and very cheekily so. I loved how they played with that during Empty Hearse. The subtext is there, there is no denying that. :) But it's drawing the line to reality that is important. I remember when the show "Merlin" aired, it was a similar thing. Many shipped Merlin and Arthur (I have forgotten whether that was Marthur or Merthur, lol, I think it was Merthur). But some went as far as to insist, that the actors were lovers in real life. I think it was one of the reasons why the actors eventually called it quits after five seasons. That can't have been easy, having strangers invade your privacy like that.
You were being targeted. I understand.
Don't let them get to you. We've got your back. ;)
I follow some SuperWhoLock Tumblr blogs. I am not scary; I just watch all of those shows. I stay away from the fights though. Sometimes I feel sorry for the actor's families. Children are especially entitled to privacy, no matter how cute Misha Collin's son may be.
It's a crazy word.
Oh, I meant my bad on mistaking that the comment J Unleashed made was pointed at me, so, yeah. And "this is a topic that affects many fandoms". It's not hard to see that it does (though I have to admit I've never been part of any).
Only if you can turn back time and undo your rotten wrong doing but too late for that. Whoever this real or fake is........ I tip my hat off to you. I have never seen a bunch of blah blah blah blah "cry me a river , how pathetic. Reality bite don't kid yourself, you not special in my book and not the only one in my site. I am glad you have each other back cuz you will need it. Have a beautiful day your. I have others that have my back too against all of you.
+ 1! :)
I have a sincere question about what makes people feel attacked, or perhaps, what makes people perceive things as "too negative"? Personally, I think it is when people make personal attacks instead of discussing the material. Of course trolls enter into it too. However, I do think a healthy discussion has to have room for both negative and positive opinions--and that people have to be able to disagree.
So what do you all think goes "too far"?