it quite literally is, no matter how he is, jiho is literally a minor and bro wasn’t shying away on the fact that he thought jiho was attractive. even the first sex scene felt so weird and rushed, like what the fuck was the point of having the lady there?? was she quite literally only there for the purpose of the two of them having sex that, mind you, was barely legal like wtf
mb meant to say - no matter how old he is. sorry for the yap too, i was just heavily disappointed that i saw no one else really talking about this.
Atp yall are just throwing around the word grooming. Go google what grooming actually is
Agreed. Implications and suggestions is very different from manipulation and exploitation that comes with grooming. I haven’t read the story yet but from the way the other person replied, I kinda got the gist. I might give this a go.
Implications and suggestions *are
Lol, the heat is getting to me
Thank you!! I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING!!!!!! Don’t even get me started on the power imbalance between the two. It’s honestly really sad how most cannot see this; especially when grooming is so prevalent with the help of the internet/ social media.
The 30 year old man was attracted to a 17 year old. That’s normal? That’s ok?
Did I say it was fine though? It was definitely something else but not grooming. The misuse of the term and it being constantly being thrown around when the situation doesn’t fit the definition of the word was what I’m implying and I made that very clear though haven’t I?
Not only are they misusing the term but they can't read too istg. These people see huge age gap and power dynamic then scream GROOMING. Key part of grooming is the intention of the older person trying to MANIPULATE, EXPLOIT or ABUSE the younger one. But there's literally nowhere in the story where the older one was taking advantage of the younger one.
The sex was questionable yes. But pretty sure all readers saw how the younger guy was the one actively pursuing the older one and even tried to SA him before their first time doing it
Glad not everyone has some reading comprehension problems (〜￣△￣)〜
LITERALLY like wtf is up with others NOT thinking this is grooming?? dude was literally attracted to a minor, that alone tells you it’s grooming
Hey there! I’m not here to hate you just because you have a different thing to say from me (and from the other person who replied), and I’m just saying this so things don’t get heated in a wrong direction.
So to start, your comment bring us back to square one. The issue whether this is grooming or not. Your first reply to the original comment has a reply. That person suggested that maybe you, as well as others, should look up what grooming actually means. If you would care to, at the very least, look it up and not make up some definition, you would see what that person, as well as me are getting into (when you’ve read until this point, chill out and understand what I just said first). We are not implying, at least I am not, that that is a morally or ethically right thing to do or feel. What we’re simply saying is that the situation is completely different that the word ‘grooming’ is misused here.
As I’ve said in my other replies, and I even made it very clear, that this is definitely something else, something that is considered immoral or unethical but it is not grooming. Again, if you would care to look up the definition and if you did, you would be able to tell that what you just said “dude was literally attracted to a minor” especially the part where you said “that alone tells you it’s grooming” is false. We don’t use words just for what we think it’s used for and not it's actual definition, because if we are, language and communication will be heavily chaotic and messy, which is what happened in this thread of replies.
I hope people understand what others are saying first and actually try to comprehend them and not just brush them off just because they are not the same as yours instead of basically going on (figuratively) “nah, I’m right, you’re wrong” type of thing.
If not, grooming what is it? Guy is literally making moves on a minor and that’s not grooming? And yes he did take advantage of the mc. He took in a raggedy homeless pretty boy shelter and food for the major reason bcus he only he found him pretty. He had a plan and executed it. Once he found he mc attractive and sought for him- that’s when the grooming begin. Be so for real
Also, to give you better clarity on what grooming actually is (because this is definitely not grooming but another type of issue), I’ve read a manhwa where it perfectly captures what grooming is. I recommend checking it. The story doesn’t revolve around that so you won’t feel uncomfortable (at least not so much) and the one who got groomed is probably not going to end up with his groomer (groomer is not thhe ML with how things are in that story as of now).
It demonstrates what grooming is very perfectly in my opinion. The power imbalance was used to the groomer’s advantage and you can see his inner monologue that he is consciously and deliberately trying to manipulate the MC (who got groomed) and make him dependent on him and even controlling the MCs action for his own benefit. Unlike here where there is ‘a power imbalance’ maybe due to age gap or their social status and power or both but it doesn’t really do anything and didn’t removed the younger person’s autonomy, the manhwa I’m suggesting strikes What grooming is perfectly by definition and by the book.
Here’s the manhwa: https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/his_perfect_guide/
My God, are we even reading the same story? He took that homeless boy in out of kindness. Did you see the older guy ever touching him inappropriately, seducing him, or using the fact that he provided him a house to control him like, “I gave u a house so now u owe me”? Did he isolate him from outside or make him obey everything he said? No. So where exactly did he manipulate him?
U're literally just making up your own version of woojung's character and intentions. There's nothing in the story that shows he brought jiho home to take advantage of him. Let me say it again, jiho was the one who made a move on him FIRST and continuously after that
These people aren't even trying to look up the actual definition of grooming and just started making up their own version of the story
Idk why but my reply was cut off. Anyways agreed with everything u said. I could never be as kind as u to explain it like that
Ngl you’re the type to be easily manipulated, if that’s truly your thought process. The story literally talked about why the older dude wouldn’t just pick up any kid. If it was someone else (that he didn’t find attractive) he wouldn’t have a roommate.
THIS IS LONG, LIKE LONG LONG but this is where I organized things and made some things clear.
I’m not sure if you looked up the definition of grooming so just in case, here it is for you:
“Grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.”
Additional information aside from description:
“Grooming can take place in any type of relationship, often where there is a power imbalance. Grooming is discussed in the context of child sexual abuse but happens whenever one person takes advantage of another’s vulnerability due to age, role, situation, or capacity to consent.”
Note how it says it often occurs when there is power imbalance but also didn’t say that the power imbalance alone equates to grooming.
Source: https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/dcf/gtf-cja/hb-6113/grooming_connecticut-safe-sport-policy-child-abuse-prevention_digital.pdf/
(Source is from a government org site. I feel like I need to point that out)
You said that “And yes he did take advantage of the mc. He took in a raggedy homeless pretty boy shelter and food for the major reason bcus he only he found him pretty. He had a plan and executed it. Once he found he mc attractive and sought for him- that’s when the grooming begin.”
So to you a person who:
- Find someone pretty
- Took that pretty person to provide shelter and food because they find that person attractive and is actively
Is equal to a grooming person who “METHODICALLY”:
- Manipulates
- Coerces
- Forces someone to do something, essentially take someone’s autonomy
- Takes advantage of another’s vulnerability
? You be for real... Your argument whether this is grooming or not is quite weak and you don’t even try to elaborate much. You just throw “these people are blind, how tf can’t they see this is grooming?” type of thing and when you do elaborate, you just repeat the same argument and throw that the one opposing you is just easy to manipulate. Do you even know what manipulation means? Or is it the same case as how you misused and misunderstood the word grooming as well? Uke’s reason can also be seen as him objectifying the seme instead of having a plan to do something because uke finds seme pretty and provided him shelter and food.
And the taking advantage part? Which part? Are we reading the same thing? Or are you just speculating and deluding yourself that uke is plotting something when that even didn’t take place in the story. Seme was already showing signs of attraction or some sort of feelings towards the uke early on in the story and uke (the alleged groomer..) didn’t even show the things that defines what a groomer is.
These are the parts I’ve collected where I think made you and others think it was grooming.
- “Don’t get jealous, and just admire the beauty as is” - Ch.4
- “Your name is pretty, just like you” - Ch.5
- Seme blushing from his ear after being aware of uke constantly calling him pretty - Ch.5
- The uke said “Turn off the alarm and wake me up at 7:30” after he grabbed seme’s wrist to make him sit on the uke’s bed - Ch.6 (He’s definitely being quite flirty but again, this is another issue and does not prove “grooming” happened).
- “If the noise outside bothers you, sleep here” referring to the uke’s bedroom and the seme was like “Do people usually allow others in their bedroom this easily?” - Ch.6 (Attempted grooming? No because does it involve manipulation? Nope. Coercion? Nope. Exploitation? Nope. This may be flirting which, again, different from grooming. But in this scene alone, you can’t just say he did this because he’s plotting something. It may be even due to him finding pretty and doing good things for them, kinda like receiving pretty privilege where attractive people receive more favor than normal)
- Seme being confused why the uke is not making him do some houseworks/house chores except for laundry in exchange for all the things he has been given - Ch.7
- “I found you on the street that day, and I had never seen anything prettier than you” - Ch.7 (Grooming, as defined, comes across as flying under the radar and not being direct like this. Flirting? It might be. But is flirting = grooming? It’s obvious at this point that the two are not synonymous. Pedophilia? You might think so because phedophilia is a disorder often defined by adults having attraction towards a child, but what is a child, a 20 year old, a young adult can be viewed as a child by someone 35 so it is very subjective but the definition of phedophilia refers to ‘child’ being in the prepubescent stage, aka before puberty).
- Uke staring blatantly at the seme and the seme being awfully aware of it, it was drawn weirdly - Ch.8 (It’s weird yes, but this doesn’t come across as grooming because if it is, uke will try to justify it and normalize it in attempt to gaslight or manipulate the seme)
- Seme needing to use the bathroom and it was unlocked but the uke was there showering - Ch.11 (Might be one of the reason why you thought he was scheming something, has a plan, and executed it but this alone counts as seduction if it was planned, NOT grooming. But while you doing an assumption that leans on the negative side, you should’ve considered the fact that: it might be because he’s tired from the job and locking slipped his mind, it might be because he’s not used to living alone, he knows the seme is already asleep)
I’ve read this last night and to be honest, things follow the same pattern and there’s a lot of specific details that it’s too much effort to type all of them when essentially, they are the same thing.
These are just implications and suggestions, and I’ve said it before that Implications and suggestions are very different from manipulation and exploitation that comes with grooming. You probably think these count as manipulation since it can be confusing to some since when things pile up, it can lead to people thinking and assuming things which is cognitive bias, but, seriously, the definition of manipulation is “It involves using deceptive or unfair tactics to control or influence another person's behavior or emotions.”
Examples of manipulation techniques:
- Guilt-tripping: Making someone feel bad for not doing what you want.
- Lying: Presenting false information to get your desired outcome.
- Emotional blackmail: Threatening to harm yourself or someone else if they don't comply.
- Gaslighting: Denying or twisting the truth to make someone question their own sanity.
A problem I’ve noticed is that people read too much into things that they end up misinterpreting what the situation actually means or implies especially when they immediately jump into an idea that “ah, this is ‘something’ huh” and that something here is grooming and then proceed on reading the story with that mindset. Fallacy and cognitive bias...
This is more like the seme receiving pretty privilege from the uke in an excessive manner to the point where sometimes, he’s being treated like an object of amusement, and the uke not minding the age gap between them. And then all that work coincidentally led to them being in a relationship of some sort instead of grooming.
Yes, seme might’ve developed feelings for the uke because of the things he had done for him but that doesn’t mean it’s grooming. Yes, some things are weird. Yep, some things can be viewed as fucked up. All of that though doesn’t necessarily mean “grooming”. If at this point of reading my reply, you still think it’s grooming, read the definition again and do your research.
This got long because the misuse of the word grooming, and the overall epidemic of misusing words doesn’t sit right with me and possibly the other person who’s in this thread. This is long, and is quite pedantic but is necessary since in recent times, misusing words lead to language and communication errors leading to chaos and mess. Might as well do my part.
Again, peace.
I would be throwing away my morals and education if I said this isn’t grooming. He took advantage of a kid. Emotional manipulation happens like every chapter. His flirting, the stares (both which he does constantly- normalizing this in their relationship) giving everything what the kid needs was to build trust, seem dependable to the kid. It’s hard to turn your back on those you care for. The adults actions kept the mc in check. Also for the kid to be conscious of him- those stares purpose was to add subtly redefine their relationship. Create an opening where the kid could see it was possible for a sexual relationship between the two can occur. Psychological confusion.
The kid could only be grateful due to his past. Respectfully the mc is the perfect candidate of the person who’s easy to manipulate. The adult didn’t have to tell him what he was doing was ok- the mc already accepted it. Why would he questioned the authority who provided him food and shelter? The kid already learned most human relationships are transactional. The safety he gained was false; but ofc the mc wanted to keep it and do whatever possible to maintain. The adult knew mc felt personally indebted but truly did nothing much to help. He wanted him to keep feeling that way, so mc behavior relied on the mc’s mood/behavior to ensure the adult is happy with him. the child makes the first move and made to believe it was by his own accord. Basically he took advantage of the kid’s vulnerability and all his actions were made so the kid could be compliant.
A portion of my comment was accidentally deleted so I’m done here tbh. But to anyone reading this know this situations like these; are made to NOT be obvious and clear cut. Abusers will make the situation appear normal and consensual to you. One could think it’s the victim choice- but if the relationship wasn’t turn down by the get go.
Something is wrong. Everyone has a responsibility and they failed to do so. So they will do everything in their power to not be accountable.
I’m sorry but is this not grooming?????