Conflicted

Well I kinda skipped his parts so I can't really say anything.. But in what way do you mean that?

I'm kinda having the sensation that he was the one whom stopped to love Jiang Wenxu first and he is also responsible for all the problems, not just a victim. I'm not justifying Jiang Wenxu, he did his mistakes, but I will say he was not the only one to blame.
The next is only my opinion, but also contains spoilers:
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These are the motives that lead me to think that way:

1. I think the love of He Zhishu for Jiang Wenxu was builded in the support the first could bring for the latest. When they were poor, He Zhishu gives a lot of support to Jiang Wenxu and that was something he felt proud of. Then, when they became rich, Jiang Wenxu stopped needing the support from He Zhishu and that damaged their relationship.

2. He Zhishu didn't abandon Jiang Wenxu only because the visit from the affair, but also because the affair insulted the ring He Zhishu gave to Jiang Wenxu. He Zhishu knew from before about the affair so he was tolerant about that matter, but couldn't resist when the affair showed the ring to He Zhishu and insulted it. I think He Zhishu felt hurt in his pride, not because Jiang Wenxu cheated on him, but because the ring was something He Zhishu gave with his effort and was something he was pridefull.

3. I think He Zhishu becomes cold to Jiang Wenxu after the dead of his parents (He Zhishu's) and Jiang Wenxu ressented the coldness from He Zhishu leading him to start the cheating. I'm not justifying Jiang Wenxu and I do not aprobe cheating until any reason, but I can understand why Jiang Wenxu started it. According to the POV of the assistant, Jiang Wenxu was having lot of stress from the work, he needed the support of his partner, and even cancel a date he would have with some other person when He Zhishu calls him. However, with the dead of He Zhishu's parents, he started to feel guilty about his love for Jiang Wenxu and stopped to give him emotional support.

4. He Zhishu cryed in his parents thomb about his mistake choosing Jiang Wenxu and eloped. However, a few more chapters after he was the one whom in a very boldness way seduced Ai Ziyan to have sex not feeling any remorse for it the day after, even when he was the one who said that in his life he would only love one person and would never accept any other. That was a very hypocritical behaviour from him, because his parents went mad not becuase of Jiang Wenxu himself, but because having a relationship with other male. In the other hand, when Jiang Wenxu had sex with the affair the first time was because he went drunk and didn't realice what was he doing, but, when he awakes and noticed what he did, he panicked and left in a hurry and didn't notice he haven't his ring (that is a very notable difference about the first time each other had sex with other partner).

5. He Zhishu rejected Jiang Wenxu to have sex because he was scared of the pain. However, like said before, he was the one who seduced Ai Ziyu in a boldness way (even after Ai Ziyu retired himself first), betraying his own words and probing he was capable to have sex, since the state when he sletp with Ai Ziyu was a very worst one when he had sex with Jiang Wenxu and his body would have a lot more pain in that condition for that.

6. He Zhishu cared a lot of his looks and one of the things he hates about his sickness was that he was losing his beautifulness. I think that thing was remarked a few times in the novel and even was one of the things he talked with Ai Ziyu, so, when Ai Ziyu flatter him he went happy, just as when he was with Jiang Wenxu in his younger days.

7. After Jiang Wenxu rapped He Zhishu, He Zhishu started the cold war with him and Jiang Wenxu was the one who pleaded to talk the things as the adults they were. That days were the ones when He Zhishu started to think about leaving Jiang Wenxu just setting his decision after the visit from the affair. However, even when He Zhishu knew that visit was one Jiang Wenxu didn't knew and Jiang Wenxu was making his best effort to make up the things for He Zhishu, he ran away the day Jiang Wenxu tells him to have buy new rings. I think He Zhishu never give an opportunity to Jiang Wenxu to fix his mistakes and instead always acted in a very egotistical manner.

8. When He Zhishu heard the cry of Jiang Wenxu, he choose to ignore him and stay with Ai Ziyu to have a good affair before his dead. In the other hand, Jiang Wenxu did not obssesed to recuperate He Zhishu and instead he asked Ai Ziyu to took care of him meanwhile he went to look for a new bone marrow. Jiang Wenxu prioritises the health care of He Zhishu before his own wished to posses him.

9. When Jiang Wenxu learns about He Zhishus condition his heart went damaged because all the hurt he was having. In the other hand, He Zhishu was sad, but he never resented it at the same level Jiang Wenxu and that makes me think He Zhishu didn't love Jiang Wenxu the same way Jiang Wenxu did.

10. For the last, I think the title of the book is one kind of hint about it. The title "10 years I loved you the most" has a past tense word, loved, implying somebody stopped to love another. I need to read again the entire novel to understand it better, but I think the title tells about He Zhishu stopping loving Jiang Wenxu after 10 years of loved him. However, they have been together for 15 years, 5 years more after those 10 years of love, and that coincides with the dates of He Zhishu's parent's deads, and Jiang Wenxu starting to having affairs.

The tragedy for this is not for He Zhishu. His sickness is not a fault of Jiang Wenxu, his dead was sad, but that is something that can't be blamed to Jiang Wenxu. However, Jiang Wenxu couldn't resist the idea of He Zhishu's dead and instead he stayed waiting for him even when he would never be back, denying his dead. That is a far more cruel punishment for him and I think it was something he didn't deserved. Yes, Jiang Wenxu did mistakes and the cheating thing is something cruel in a relationship, but he was the only one whom tried to fix the things and never had a chance for that.

Welp, I agree with all of them especially the 7th one (Sorry for a short reply after your long one, you left nothing to be said(￣∇￣")

Thank you for giving your time reading that answer. Actually, I wanted to share it in order to vent some of my conflicted emotions. I stand up for Jiang Wenxu, even when he make mistakes, he tried to make things up for He Zhishu and instead received a punishment that neither I would wish for the worst enemy.

Sorry but I can see nothing but rape apologia, here. Especially #7.

Feeling guilty over something is not a crime. That's exactly what you painted it as, whether you want to believe that or not. And if the uke had withdrawn from him then why didn't the seme deal with it the same way you DEMAND that the uke should have dealt with the guy after he r@ped him? By 'talking' (blergh) It out.

Secondly, when the seme lost his ring it WAS after he had been drinking and that means, given the timing of these events, this wasn't the first time he had slept with someone else. The name he muttered when he drunkenly raped He Zhishu was the name of the guy he had (or was going to have?) an affair with for three years after all. He cheated on He Zhishu long before that (whether 'before' means before having an affair with the other guy or before that specific point in time). So no, there is nothing to make Wenxu's cheating more palatable. And there was no sign of him panicking then it at any other time he cheated on him.

Thirdly, He Zhishu was having an affair with someone else AFTER his partner had already cheated on him and after he had already BROKEN UP with that partner. Again, there is no comparison.

Fourthly, He Zhishu was talking more about emotional pain than physical pain when he rejected Wenxu's physical advances.

Fifthly, his family rejected him because he had FALLEN IN LOVE with another man. A loveless affair like he had with Dr. Ai would not have affected his relationship with his parents as badly because he wouldn't have followed Dr. Ai so diligently. Also, after the life he had with Wenxu you don't think Zhishu deserves SOME comfort? If not, sadly you only make it seem like you think someone should never feel pleasure, only pain, and that the victim must accept all suffering that comes their way even at the end of their life or they're not a true victim. Thx.

Sixthly, Wenxu raped He Zhishu more than once. He raped him at LEAST three times. Also, Wenxu never noticed something was wrong with Zhishu? It should have been obvious. Blood does not just come out of someone where there's no reason for blood to come out. And Wenxu was either indifferent to it or involved in helping create the situation.

Seventhly, He Zhishu obviously didn't feel as much resentment as Wenxu, eIther BECAUSE he loved Wenxu or because he had experienced too MUCH resentment already. It seems that you expect He Zhishu to always be forgiving but at the same time to always feel horrible when he's hurt. He's not a f*cking saint. You're applying a VERY gross, gaslighting and hypocritical double standard to the victim. Yuck.

Eighthly, it's irrelevant whether Wenxu knew that the guy he had an affair with was going to show up at their front door. He never told He Zhishu about the length of the affair, so he wasn't honest to the last. That's HIS fault not Zhishu's. Thx.

Ninthly, yes, he answered the phone rather than going on a date with the other guy but he answered it in a very reluctant manner and obviously there are many MORE times that he failed to answer it at all or still chose to cheat on Zhishu even after answering other calls of his. So no he does NOT get a congratulations for performing the bare MINIMUM of decency just ONCE. Mmkay?

Finally, #7, which is a particularly gross assumption, IGNORES THE FACT that He Zhishu had already forgiven Wenxu MULTIPLE TIMES. And a victim should not be forced to forgive their abuser just because they show sad feelies once while they're not allowed (yes, by your 'logic') to never forgive their abuser despite MULTIPLE circumstances where they've been betrayed AS HE ZHISHU HAS BEEN. That's just disgusting

I was really hoping that at least this one time we could get away with no one bringing up the victim blaming angle as always seems to happen on other stories like this, but, no such luck. Sadly, you people probably believe that you're bringing up an angle no one has ever heard of before. But, in fact, it's the opposite. The ones bringing up a little known and VERY refreshing angle are the ones who 100% despise people like Wenxu.

Ktbn.

And with this 'logic' it's apparent that He Zhishu's punishment IS something you'd wish on your worst enemy. .

I'm not trying to excuse Jiang Wenxu's actions in any way. Yes, he did his own mistakes and his sins are not small. I just say it was not entirely only fault of him.

It is very easy to check only on Jiang Wenxu's faults because those are described in detail on the text. But there are also things not easily described that are the faults of He Zhishu.

After all, neither of them were saint people. Both of them makes mistakes, but I feel more sorry for Jiang Wenxu because his punishment was fair worse than what he really deserved.

I dont get what you mean by saying that Wenxu doesnt deserved the suffering he got? Maybe you dont know the weigh of what Wenxu did to He Zishu. Well then let me tell you something, He Zishu also didnt deserve all the suffering and pain he went all through those 10 years.

Elaborate more of what you mean by He Zishu's faults that cant be easily described.

Very well said.

Well, I was mad for the last chapters that I didn't read before and somehow hurt of the though of He Zhishu taking back his own words by stoping to love Jiang Wenxu, whom realized his feelings for He Zhishu too late.

I didn't said Jiang Wenxu didn't deserve any punishment. His crimes went not unpunished and got what he deserved. It was a pitty He Zhishu died thinking he wasn't love anymore by Jiang Wenxu, but I felt relieved after the extra about Jiang Wenxu and somehow I think both of them could get a bittersweet ending.

Whatever happened before, the only thing I want to say is that the only villain in the story is the lack of communication. Both of them could have had a better ending if just they just had better communication.

Now I'm eager to see those extras after the ending in the manhua.

Thank you! I hope you meant to reply to me, anyways!

I really understand what do you mean
But im disagree a lot point in your opinion

Shizu until he's die
He's still loving jian wenxu
He's still calling name, actually he's chat with doctor Ai about jian wenxu
How can you say shizu who stopped love jian wenxu

I know shizu never look back for jian wenxu but never blame him for anything
For rape, abuse, cheating
Its really painful and not easy handling a lot breaking heart situation
Why shizu just silent
BECAUSE HE'S DON'T WANT JIAN WENXU LEFT HIM
they are awkward and heartbreaking person in long relationship
But love its still love
I don't blame jian wenxu bcs i know how he is get hurt
But i can dare blame shizu either

I can't understand why you say shizu proud because supporting jian wenxu
Shizu love jian wenxu no matter what
I just can saw that

Sorry im bit emotional
For me all character in this story get torture enough

I really understand what do you mean
But im disagree a lot point in your opinion

Shizu until he's die
He's still loving jian wenxu
He's still calling name, actually he's chat with doctor Ai about jian wenxu
How can you say shizu who stopped love jian wenxu

I know shizu never look back for jian wenxu but never blame him for anything
For rape, abuse, cheating
Its really painful and not easy handling a lot breaking heart situation
Why shizu just silent
BECAUSE HE'S DON'T WANT JIAN WENXU LEFT HIM
And how can shizu happy after get rape and abuse, of course he's angry and starting cold war

they are awkward and heartbreaking person in long relationship
But love its still love
I don't blame jian wenxu bcs i know how he is get hurt
But i can dare blame shizu either

I can't understand why you say shizu proud because supporting jian wenxu
Shizu love jian wenxu no matter what
I just can saw that not anything else

Sorry im bit emotional
For me all character in this story get torture enough

Thank you for your reply. I was really pissed with the fact that He Zhishu had sex with Ai Ziyu. I went totally mad because I felt he was betraying himself and taking back his feelings toward Jiang Wenxu and that would ruin the entire novel.

It was just after reading the epilogue for Jiang Wenxu with a better translation that I realized what you are telling. Shizhu left because he thought Jiang Wenxu didn't loved him anymore and that was heartwreaking. However, Jiang Wenxu's feelings reached He Zhishu after his death, and somehow I feel that is a good ending for He Zhishu. Still tragic, but bittersweet.

I take back my words when I said He Zhishu stopped to love Jiang Wenxu, but I'm still thinking both of them had lack of communication that leaded to that output.

He Zishu slept with Doctor Ai? I've never heard of that.

The fact shizu had sex with doctor ai
For me like just 'thanks' action
Its true if shizu lure doctor ai
Important thing shizu still love jian wenxu
If normal person, in situations like that never ever thinking about Ex like jian wenxu

Oh a lot people thought shizu really suffer 10 years
Shizu suffered 4 years
Rest of that they are happy together

When shizu parents found out they are couple
Shizu mom beat him with broom
But jian wenxu cover him and hug shizu
Say something in shizu ear 'don' t be afraid im here'

Shizu love jian wenxu like he don't have a reason guys

Yes, it was at chapter 76.

Thank you for the comment Sitchan, after thinking about it, I agree with you and think he decided to had that rommance with Ai Ziyu as a way to thank him for his feelings and his care. Not as a way of love, since he did love Jiang Wenxu until the last of his days and even after death.