
I visit psychiatrist, he also told me that I try to mask my troubles by making (shitty) jokes. I meant it as a joke, but it is also true, because when I feel really shitty, I go and reread some of the old manga. It isn't even about the manga itself, but it reminds me of a simpler times. And I don't solely live on manga, I also have friends and family, but they wouldn't be able to give me feelings of nostalgy like some mangas. Idk if I made it clear

You're a gross and disgusting person. You assumed someone's mental health and told them to off themself if they were really serious about suicide Instead of back tracking with a weak "g-good on you" because you realized they're serious why don't you own up to your mistake and apologize? God, some users on this site just fucking blow me away.

You are right, this is not a laughing matter. I try to kill myself before, but since I can't swallow them all at once, so I take the pills one by one, and each pills I took, there is a voice or whatever like 'If you die now, you haven't had your first kiss yet', and then I replied 'then I'll die as virgin mary', when I took another one, the voice say 'you''ll go to hell', and I said 'I was going to end up in hell anyway, why don't make it sooner', and at 7 pills, the voice say ''You''ll never find out about the black organization Boss (Detective Conan), and you wouldn't get to see Ren and Kyoko married and all (Skip Beat) and then I stop taking more pills. It's not about the manga, it's about the instinct to survived, to hold on to something matter, no matter how trivial or small it is. If I remember it now, I laughed at it thinking haw lame it is, but it's happened and that saved me.
People really shouldn't underestimate how damaged the mind of suicidal person can be and make jokes out of it. Sometimes when people left a message saying they are gong to commit suicide, before they do it, they actually want to be saved, but sometimes it's just too late.
I told myself that I can't kill myself till all the mangas and manwhas I like don't end. But as I see pace of uploading some of them(sekaiitchi,viewfinder,...) i am gonna be here for a long time