All of what you said DOESN'T MATTER. We are talking about BDSM here. Which is AWAY from emotions. Which is meant to be done through control, NOT EMOTIONS.
You can say that MD is hurt however you want. But what he did was to use BDSM against Chanwoo when as AN EXPERIENCED DOM, he should not have.
Bottom line: MD is an experienced DOM, he should have brought his emotions out of BDSM play. He did not. MD knows of Chanwoo's past and his LACK OF EXPERIENCE in BDSM play. The onus on who should have been more responsible, should have seen how this is more than just BDSM play is on MD.
But no, he abused his position. Chanwoo, lacking experience and with a KNOWN background is something MD chose to manipulate. Not something a DOM should have done.
^^^^
^^^^^
MD knows perfectly well that Chanwoo was abused by his ex partners and he was just now rejected and used by another guy and he fully takes advantage of that. How you can use a card: oh once again you were used and rejected and I'm gonna abandon you too if you won't follow my conditions in some super toxic play". How inconsiderate is that. To make him make out and mate with the guy who just used him. It's on a different level especially knowing his past.
And you seriously don't see the power inbalance here and the fragile state after years of abuse Chanwoo is. You literally dismiss it.
MD is experienced Dom in comparison to amator Chanwoo. He should have known better than using manipulations and taking advantage of Chanwoo's weaknesses.
Do you know how BDSM works? It's sexual play and a lifestyle if you want it to be, but it is not real life and it doesn't mean that a Dom somehow has full control of your actions to the point that you can't make your own decisions anymore.
The only possible thing he, as a dom, did to use bdsm against Chanwoo was slapping him. And that's IF that wasn't previously established in their relationship because slapping IS a part of some peoples' fetishes and is allowed in relationships if previously established. No one knows if it was, but MD has made it very clear that Chanwoo has a safe word, and has told him to use it, and has established that if it were to be used, he'd stop immediately. A sub is given that safe word in case emotions or lust gets so far that they can't handle it.
EVERYTHING else was something that Chanwoo could have said no to. He could have decided the situation was too much for him and walked out, and he could have denied the conditions. He had every choice to do so. The blame can not be entirely on MD because Chanwoo had gained experience by this point and he made his own decisions. He was not just starting out and he isn't some kid that doesn't know any better, they'd been doing this for months and Chanwoo wanted it so badly because he'd already looked into it and wanted it. A dom has the control in that kind of sexual relationship, but a person is given a choice in whether or not they want to listen.
Except he didn't "make" him do it. He ordered him to as part of the sexual play and gave him a choice not to do if he didn't want to, except that he'd give him up as his sub- which, by the way, as someone whose feelings had been so eagerly dismissed- he had EVERY right to do. Anyone can choose whatever partner they want, including MD and including Chanwoo, who still decides that he wants MD despite everything else and chooses him over walking out.
We saw that MD was considerate of his past and Chanwoo basically dismissed him, waved off the care that MD had given him by treating his wounds and trying to take care do him, and said he just wanted someone who fit his type. Chanwoo, knowing full well that they weren't on the best terms, still decided to bring this new guy over to him. If you want to talk about how unfair it is to Chanwoo's feelings, you have to consider MD's too.
MD knows perfectly that Chanwo doesn't know his limits and he's problem with using safe word. As experienced dom he either can deal with it or end their relationship. Not take advantage of that. The guy was nearly chocked to death and didn't use it.
No babe you don't create toxic competition which doesn't have to do anything with BDSM play. You have a conversation as normal, adult human being and consider all options and what will work for you. Not this paranoia.
Chanwoo has been doing this for months at this point, he's no longer much of an amateur and he knows full well he has a safe word and can walk out at any time. He isn't controlled by MD just 'cause he's a dom in sexual play. There's a disconnection there, the dominance doesn't stay there even in real life outside of sexual play unless you want it to. Chanwoo isn't some fragile little woman who's been abused for years, he's a prideful and energetic guy who knows he's weak for cute faces and admits to just wanting someone his type and accidentally falling into poor relationships. He bounces out of them and then goes back in. That's not "fragile" and he's not being forced into anything that he's not able to get out of.
'He could have decided'
WAKE UP. Look at MD's face. Do you really think he GAVE A CHOICE? Or did he know that it wasn't really a choice for someone like Chanwoo?
'They've been doing it for months.'
And? Did MD teach Chanwoo properly what BDSM is? Did he introduce him to another sub to teach him that HE HAS TO SAY THE SAFEWORD for his own safety?
Did the more experienced MD not see that Chanwoo did not say the SAFEWORD when he WAS SUPPOSED TO, simply because he wants to fight back? And realise how Chanwoo is COMPLETELY INEXPERIENCED as a sub? That should have been a red flag to MD, he should have stopped the play and made Chanwoo realise how as a sub he should have said the safeword. BUT HE DID NOT.
Md literally sees how Chanwoo is dangerous as an inexperienced sub but does nothing.
Seriously I'm so disgusted with this sentence I have no words "Chanwoo isn't some fragile little woman who's been abused for years, he's a prideful and energetic guy who knows he's weak for cute faces and admits to just wanting someone his type and accidentally falling into poor relationships".
You completely dismiss abuse and don't understand how it affects the psyche. Him getting in another and another and another toxic relationship is good example of that. Him not saying safe word whil being strangled to death is another beautiful example of that
FrAgIlE , lIyTlE woman... Seriously it's you pov on abuse victims. Yikes
We are talking with person who use such disgusting arguments "Chanwoo isn't some fragile little woman who's been abused for years, he's a prideful and energetic guy who knows he's weak for cute faces and admits to just wanting someone his type and accidentally falling into poor relationships".
Firstly they dismiss the impact of abuse. And that line about little, fragile woman. Yikes
You know even a 6'4" man can be abused. Not only physically but especially mentally. Even by his 5'5" female partner.
Yes, actually, he did. And we can see that he has been a fully responsible dom up until this point. He reminded Chanwoo of the safe word, and in the last chapter, kept yelling at him to use it because he'd stop the very second that Chanwoo did. But Chanwoo CHOSE not to and it went so far that even MD was hurt by it. MD didn't do nothing, he was very obviously upset and Chanwoo was more unfazed by it than MD was, and MD didn't call for Chanwoo for weeks because of how far it all went. Also? You act as though Chanwoo doesn't have the internet and everything else at his hand and can see what a proper BDSM relationship should look like? He was interested in BDSM beforehand and had rejected it with others because they were creepy and made him uncomfortable and he had no problem making the choice to walk away from that because he is more than capable of doing so. You CAN'T somehow blame all of this on MD just because he has more experience, because we've seen that they'd been practicing fully properly until this point and even now, MD gave him a way out. Nust because you know the answer someone will have doesn't mean that the question asked wasn't valid and that you didn't give them a choice. Chanwoo could have said no and could have walked out.
If you like coffee and your best friend knows that so they ask if you want some knowing you'll likely say yes, that doesn't mean that them asking meant nothing and that doesn't mean that you are obligated to drink it just because they asked. You could say no and they won't bring you the coffee, just like you could say yes like they expect and can drink it. The logic that just because MD knew the likely answer that he somehow forced Chanwoo into it doesn't make sense.
You still don't he shouldn't create such toxic and manipulative petty competition in the first place, knowing perfectly that Chanwoo won't refuse because he was just rejected and he won't want to lose another thing and he has problems in general with limits and saying no. AND HE FULLY TAKES advantage of that. Jesus
Please use paragraphs.
He literally told about the safeword to MOCK. Are you ok? How's that the same as telling him for safety?
The fact that chanwoo CHOSE not to when he should have TELLS YOU that he's not experienced and MD should have done something.
Stop bringing other facts in. Oh MD was upset, oh chanwoo is upset.
I give ZERO sh*ts about that. The only thing I care about is how MD used that feelings to take advantage of Chanwoo. How MD is irresponsible and emotionally manipulative as a Dom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT CHANWOO DID. MD can cry and whine about it all I care.
I CARE ABOUT THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF AN EXPERIENCED DOM that MD totally DISREGARD for his emotions.
How are you comparing coffee with emotional manipulation and taking advantage of an ABUSIVE past? Are you ok?
Seriously we are waiting out time. You make such a solid points and they compare abuse to coffe.
What a horribly childish comparison
No one here is a "victim" and due formal concern for REAL LIFE circumstances, you REALLY need to understand that. People are flawed. People make mistakes. But people's poor choices that put themselves into bad places do NOT make them victims.
Yeah, MD knew that Chanwoo was susceptible to manipulation, but Chanwoo was also well aware that MD was 1. Hurt by rejection, and 2. Sadistic. It was NOT okay that Chanwoo decided to bring a guy who he wanted to have a romantic relationship with to the guy who he just rejected that relationship from. You tall about how MD made Chanwoo "uncomfortable" but ?? How uncomfortable and hurtful do you think that was for MD? And if Chanwoo didn't have any feelings for MD, then from MD's perspective, it shouldn't be that big of a deal that MD would choose someone else to be his partner. Him easily dropping subs was one of the first things we learn about his personality. And any human would most likely not react well to that kind of situation- not saying it's okay to go as far as he did, but? What was he supposed to do? Smile and accept it with open arms? He may be older, but that doesn't mean he'll act super mature and make all the right choices. Chanwoo is a grown ass male too.
Chanwoo has a bad history of choosing manipulative and abusive lovers because he's too weak to their attractive faces and falls for them without paying attention to red flags. Awful, but it's a mistake he has yet to learn from. The problem is that Chanwoo, as we've seen time and time again, is incredibly stubborn and prideful, even if it means he'll get hurt, but that's HIS character flaw. HE chooses out of his own volition to be that way. MD should not have been manipulative, but he didn't threaten to harm him or try to guilt him or anything, just said he'd choose a different sub, which he, as the dom, had every right to do. So no, it's not like an average abusive relationship and you can't compare it to that. Chanwoo is not a victim if he is aware of the entire situation, was given an out, and is consciously choosing to continue EVEN after being slapped (which, contrary to y'alls beliefs, IS a common thing in BDSM) when he could have said he didn't want it or given a safe word. That's called a poor choice, that's called pride, and that's called (to us, as the audience) making a mistake. But to him, clearly spite and being a sub was more important than the humiliation.
There is some sympathy for both sides, but both sides have flaws and things to work on, and neither side is completely correct or should be victimized.