Guys i have a question

this is kind of a random place to ask this lol but I mean if you aren't getting anywhere with you bf, maybe get in touch with the sister-in-law. It's not like she needs to read them, so if you dont like it and she respects your beliefs, then she'd stop on her own. also i dont think its an invasion of privacy when you talk about someone... it's not like your asking super personal info im assuming

Huh that is soo weird...no way he should let her do that, I would not like it cz the chat is private for a couple...like im super close to my sister but we never share our chat with our husbands ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

Btw this a totally random question rightt?

i would be bothered because privacy should go both ways. those chats are between you and your boyfriend, i dont think anyone should get to see that. i will also add if he isnt telling you about her, then you should definitely get to keep your privacy even more

lol you could post a question instead of asking here, but i think that you need to tel him he’s being unreasonable in treating both of you differently in the same situation and try to sort things out by talking ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I would be angry if my significant other let someone else read our conversations. Because then he's not respecting my privacy.

He's not respecting your privacy by letting her read your chats. It's none of her business to know what you guys talk about privately. If you wanted her to know, then you would make a group chat. I think it's wrong that he's letting her read the chats and I think you should tell him how that makes you feel.

Bruh, what kind of logic is that? If he respect her privacy, why can't he do the same with our conversations? What business or right does this sister have in seeing what we say when it's just the two of us? I like to see how he would feels if I ever let his mom or siblings see our texts. Since he won't talk, I probably confront the sister-in-law and tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel. If she doesn't see what the problem is, I would not hesitate to stop being polite and tell her how invasive it is. But that's just me.

There are many other factors that would change my response. Factors such as relationships, culture, and other past problems that tie into this scenario. I don't know the whole situation and not all problems in relationships are black and white.

Depends if you care or not. And also depends on the type of relationship he has with his sisters. There are reasons why siblings get that close. And if you don't like it, you need to talk to your boyfriend to see if there is compromise there. If not, move on, he isn't for you. Cause do you want a lifetime of it? For me, it probably wouldn't bother me unless we are talking about something secret, and if he loves or just likes you enough he should know how to separate the two. This isn't a black and white situation though, so communicate, communicate, communicate. Even talk to the sister (not secretly)

I would feel betrayed without him being secretive about this sister in law so if he tells me that he respects her that would make me feel 10 times more betrayed
I have a group chat with my sister and a common friend and recently my sister hear our memos in front of our mom and it bothered me so much
I can't imagine how you felt
I don't want to cause problems between you two but I feel like he just told you he doesn't respect u

Maybe text him that you don't like that fact and if she is respectful and considerate she will tell him she doesn't want to read?

Update. we got into a fight. i told him that he should respect my privacy our privacy because ite mine and he suddenly got mad and told me not fo talk shit bout his family (he also told me to shut up) and when i said i literally didn't he said well it felt like u did, jusy cos i said i don't feel comfy wit her reading out texts. and he said im overdramatizing this and its because of me we fought and apparently because i said that he became angry because he thought i was insulting his family which i didn't mention anywhere and told me to shut up

Ask him how'd he feel if u are the one who lets your sis or bro read the chats. Wouldn't he feel uncomfortable. If he says no then he is weird.

Oh gross.. I was going to offer a thought that maybe he loves you so much that he wants to share your fun conversations with his siblings, the way you show off funny videos.

But if he’s responding that way...

I suggest two things,

a) it’s possible you’re misunderstanding him and need to try a little harder. Ask why he does it and talk it out.

b) break up with him. There’s a zillion guys out there, why waste time on one dude who yells at you?

You’ve obviously tried a, I think it’s time to cut him off. Sounds toxic

thing it is that its not eve his siblings itshis brothers wife and after i lost it he went and twisted his words and said "it was a figure of speech, because i trust her that much to let her read them but i actually wouldn't"

Leave (*ˉ︶ˉ*)

Love for your own pleasure not for others.

I agree with all of these and I would probably break up with him if he continued to disrespect your privacy

yeah i told him. im fed up. Its always the same cycle. we fight because im dramatic whe i actually just tel lhim babe pay attention to me because when we talk he always forgets the things i say and asks bout them20 min later in chat and i know he has a lot of problems with his father and a lot of stress so i told him its ok baby focus on ur stuff even if we speak 20 min its okaybut please during those 20 min try to focus on me. because i need support as well. and i never pressure him on anything. i don't pressure to spend more time together all i want is a call before we fall asleep to talk to each other. I literally give him no issues im always positive i tell him its going to be alright ou will get through this. Even when we fight even if i get md i never insult him. We been dating for 10 months now and i don't know what to do. Honestly im at that point where im tired but i don't really want to deal with anyone new because the Bullshit i went through with guys just ruined my head. And he was very understanding but idk what to do honestly

He gaslighting you. You wanted to solve privacy issue and how it made you uncomfortable and then blamed you for being overdramatic. That isn't healthy. I'd suggest breaking it off tho of he refuses to see the part he plays. He has family issues? Doesn't equal you being mistreated or humiliated.

yeah.. you're right.. i just didn't know what to od. i don't know who to talk to about this or who to ask. Most people around me just care a bout their selves or their problems so when i try to tell them they don't care.. i didn't knwo what to do...i just don't meh im really sad

Right now is a pretty shitty time. But ya seems like an overwhelming thing to deal with, considering relationships are a big thing. I know you said you don't know what to do. But what do you WANT to do?

I just want him to respect me and pay attention to me when we speak. i don't even ask for much and he calls me a princess when i do like ok princess ill do that. i just want the same amount of lvoe nd respect i give...he tells me i mean the world to him but then he goes and does that...i know we can't be happy all the time but why do i have to beg for attention at time andnot be leff on read. But if hurts so much when i think of losing him...but i guess i have to move on. i just don't know how