ninereeds's Topics (28)

this is driving me to tears for real lmao, not just because i can relate to jinhyeong but also because the thought that his father could treat him like that when he was such a sweet boy is so beyond me. it's so upsetting. and i know songrik is also only a boy who doesn't know how to cope with the abuse he experienced so he really doesn't know any better, but it's so frustrating to watch people repeatedly invalidate jinhyeong's struggles just because they're less tangible. the people around him failed him constantly at nearly every possible turn. i honestly think it's a miracle that he met uyun and was capable of beginning recovery without completely losing his mind LOL

I CAN'T KILL MYSELF

this is truly just a worse version of the third ending i cannot believe it

i find it a little funny how during this entire manhwa thus far, all we have been seeing is how people make assumptions about and place expectations on jinhyeong, making it so that it's extremely difficult for him to open up to others, but for some reason, there's suddenly confusion when we see another character behaving similarly to others we've already met. i mean, the whole reason why his relationship with uyun is working and helping him grow is because uyun gave him the room he needed to open up and feel safe doing so. uyun never made assumptions about his character or talked about him behind his back or took other people's word for it in regards to who he was. he was patient and allowed jinhyeong to show him, and his acts of kindness and affection are unconditional and non-transactional because he acknowledges the weaknesses jinhyeong struggles with and tries to fill in the gaps.

all this to say that i can't blame his ex for feeling bitter--after all, i've been where she is, and the pain always lingers a little, even after a long time. you start wondering what it was about you that wasn't good enough. but regardless, she was never playing fair because we see her repeatedly hold the things she gave him over his head while simultaneously ignoring his words and his feelings about what she was doing. we don't see the entirety of their year-long relationship, but he expresses himself and communicates clearly about two key things that lead to the downfall of their relationship: he didn't care for her giving him test answers, and he didn't feel comfortable going to that party. in both cases, he still sacrifices his comfort and his boundaries in exchange for hers, and in both cases, she ignores what he says because she means well (and we even see her tell on herself a bit by saying he's "strong" and "[his] family is rich," implying that the problems he was having shouldn't have been such a big deal, though i do think her expression afterwards did indicate some level of regret for saying it].

could he have expressed himself better about these things, and likely many other things during the course of their relationship? absolutely, and he shows both now and even back then that he understands that his failure to do so caused significant harm to someone else. however, i'd say his ex still has some growing up to do herself (i haven't yet been provided a good reason for why her sudden change in reaction towards him being in a new relationship that's good for him but it's with a man is reasonable or justifiable but i digress), because it seems like she still doesn't seem to think that she did anything wrong or even understand what it was that she did wrong, and after five years at her age, i find it a little strange that she couldn't think of even one thing she could've done better in that situation. on the whole, these were two people who were never going to work out in a relationship because their methods of expressing themselves and their affection are just too different lol.

just fell to my knees in my bedroom.... one of the greatest to ever do it and it's already over .... IM GONNA KMS

mc has pebbles for brains i can't lie. like there's normal stupid and then there's "how are you still alive" stupid and he's the latter i fear.

ykw it definitely sucks major fuckin dookie that seolho has put everyone in a Situation but after some thought i'm blaming the boss for it as well tbh. he must know that the reason seolho is so desperate to be on the field is because he's eager to prove himself as an equal and an adult to him. and seolho is so caught up in thinking he can't expose how he feels directly that being of utmost use to the boss must be the ultimate way of expressing his feelings. i'm starting to feel like if the boss had just told him outright that he knows how seolho feels, then seolho wouldn't have gone to these lengths and would've started doing some real self-reflection instead.

so the question now is why hasn't the boss done that yet? even if seolho goes berserker about it, he could certainly handle himself against him, and he's already been shown to be the kind of person who doesn't beat around the bush about anything. i'm kinda wondering if the boss reciprocates seolho's feelings but can't allow himself to give into those feelings because it would only lead to more issues in his mind, but i'm not convinced of this stance yet since we don't actually know too much about him yet, not even his name LOL but this manhwa is genuinely too fucking good, puts a lot of other bl manhwas to shame really

the author is dragging it this should've ended 5 chapter ago lmao

the situation is coming to a head with this current confrontation.

to start with, sid is betraying cain in part because he believes that cain is not a strong enough leader and in part because he's being controlled. sid used the trust he has garnered with cain to gain access to the compass so that he could use it to kill the doctor and fuck cain over, thus giving satan an overall advantage by keeping cain weak and wasting his time. from his perspective in this chapter, he realizes he made a misstep by entrusting the task to bodycon freak since he sees the doctor in question standing right there, alive and breathing, so he's now weighing his options on whether he should just kill the doctor now or not.

aaron, the doctor, knows it, too and has figured out what the situation between cain and sid is and he's weighing his options as well, because it's become highly dangerous for him really. thanks to gale being able to identify sid as cain's right-hand man, he put two and two together from his previous inferences regarding how he was discovered by another demon in the first place. he realizes now that sid is a traitor and was the person who sought him out and attempted to kill him. he also notes that if cain continues to give sid his trust, then he'll be put in a really bad spot, too. to begin with, aaron was looking for cain so that he could offer cain his assistance in removing the angel fraction/weapon in exchange for his protection from satan, since he and gale are both on satan's hit list for stealing souls. he's already decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to just say that he's the doctor cain has been looking for, so he's thinking about what he needs to say to save his ass because either way, sid knows exactly who he is.

this is my understanding of the plot and what this chapter contributed to the overall story, so i could definitely be missing some details, but that's the gist.

[shakes tin can] spare raws anyone?