Am I toxic cuz I get Won lol? Not condoning the manipulation and I don’t get why he went to such a dark route, but I get why he’s obsessed. Jinha is the only person who’s shown him kindness and cared about his feelings without expecting anything in return. He’s held onto that moment and that person in his head to get through the abuse he endured under his tutor. He idolized Jinha like a god to believe in something good, to believe in something that could love him unconditionally, to cope and get through the helplessness and pain he was enduring. Jinha became his hope, his god.
And I get Jinha too. From ch 54 or 55, he says “Is there anyone who would go this far, to do anything to never stop liking me?” And that “It’s severe, yet sweet.” It’s obviously not sweet but Jinha comes from a family who ignores him and puts his older brother on a pedestal. He’s never known what healthy adoring attention feels like, so this kind of devoted singular obsession fills his need to be loved when all he’s known is his older brother being chosen over him. In Jinha’s eyes, Won’s actions are crazy because they caused him so much pain but at the same time he understands the reason behind is to try to keep him attached, because someone wants him this much. Someone put him on a pedestal like his parents did with Jinseo.
Def a very dark story to read, but it was enjoyable still. Psychological trip for sure. Obsessive relationships dont typically have happy endings as shown with the tutor and Jinseo. Dunno if I should be happy Won and Jinha got their happy ending together, but I am. Hopefully they go to therapy tho (￣∇￣")
“He’s gay” “Even better” from the girls hitting on him is so real.
Also second top’s art style change is beautiful
Maturing is realizing Chaejun is like Sweden from Hetalia. Strong and silent, sweet, devoted, attracted to one person and one person only. They both oddly even share the love for building furniture. They’re also both around six foot five lol
*Founds my person*
Dang, how old are you. It's not an everyday thing that someone brings up hetalia reference. You even name someone from Nordic gang.
ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
not Hetalia LMAO you're an old one i see
I love you for that ref ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Bruh is 22 old? Lol
This is one of those works that’s been stuck on my brain for days because of the unsaid emotional depth of the mc.
Even though the story is told from Ross’s point of view little is known about his thoughts. They actually run very, very deep.
Ross doesn’t ask to be loved, his faith drives him to love and to save. But when it comes to Cliff, he becomes complex, more selfish. He appreciates it when Cliff paints him, overwhelmed to the point of pulling him in for a hug after seeing the countless pictures painted of him where he’s seen for who he is. He cares about Cliff not just his well being but he also eventually returns his feelings, even though the trauma of what happened hasn’t fully left him.
It hasn’t been posted here but theres an epilogue posted on b@to where Ross encourages Cliff to move away and pursue art, this is the link:
https://[email protected]/chapter/2489179 (replace @ with a, mangago wont let me post the proper site name)
Ross wants Cliff to meet people and see the world. Cliff asks if he wants him to leave him, and Ross has this pained look on his face before he tells him he can come back and paint for him again.
I read this as deep down Ross doesn’t want Cliff to leave him. But from the start, he’s always wanted Cliff to be happy, to live a full life and not simply orbit around someone. He loves Cliff, his pained look betrays his more selfish feelings of wanting Cliff to stay close but those feelings don’t override his greater love and hope for Cliff to live a fuller life outside of him. He doesn’t want to tie Cliff down because he knows Cliff will take it a command, so he invites him lightly to come back to paint him for him if he wants to in the future. No explicit romantic ties because he wants to leave that choice to Cliff.
It ends there, but I think that Cliff will become a more mature adult as he travels and sees the world, and he will remember the person who showed him unending grace , compassion, and unconditional love. With time I think he’d be able to understand what Ross wanted for him and just how deeply he loves him without saying it.