Alex's fear of abandonment and the self-sabotage that comes with it. The room he specially showed Clark, it's like a record of the only people whose departure from his life he could control. I imagine Clark still would have ended up in that room regardless of whether he loved Alex back or not. Alex was beyond fixing, even though Oliver believed otherwise. What I find admirable about Alex though, was that instead of shutting people out completely, he still gave people chances to get close to him. It wasn't just that he wanted to be loved...he wanted to love as well.
Oliver. Ah, such a poor soul. It was in his fate to die. Clark did say he was too kind for his own good. But he had self-respect, which we saw when he got angry at Alex after his rejection. He also knew to walk away from his relationship with Clark. Imo it wasn't that he didn't see the red flags in Alex. He just chose to see past it for the kindness of his heart. He believed that with enough love he could fix Alex, and he even wanted to be the person to do it. But, instead of calling him dumb for his decisions, I much prefer the word 'foolish'.
Clark. As much as I hate to admit it, I related to him with how cold and unfeeling he was. It was interesting to have such an unemotive main character. I pity him for having lost possibly the only person he's cared about. But also, I'd like to believe he saw it coming. Yeah, he was deranged to some degree, but for some reason, the fact that he actually truly cared about Oliver, enough to kill to avenge their death, just buries all of those other things for me.
Like ah. My good sir and his fish has my heart all soft. I feel if Oliver didn't break up with him, they would have stayed together for the rest of their lives. Clark never wanted to cut contact with Oliver. Even if they had broken up, he was still I'm his sights, he was his only 'friend', perhaps, the only person he's ever truly considered a friend. It still would have been too much to ask for Oliver (or anyone, really) to stay with Clark though. It was true that Clark loved Oliver, but it was also true that Clark loved Oliver only to an extent. And they both recognized that. *sniffs*
All in all, I loved this. I wish I would have read it with both eyes completely open. God I wish I didn't relate to Clark as much as I did. God I wish I were warm. I would read the raws some time after I've reassembled my brain.
Me too I want a demon who would harvest my life force and make me rich
Like why did his hair turn white then turn back after a day??? What are the findings??? Lol
I didn't cry so I wasn't as emotionally invested in this as much as I wanted to be??? But I'm normally apathetic so it's like eh. It has become one of my favorite manhwas ever though. It's just so hauntingly beautiful, the kind that creeps up on you a while after you've read it. Not to mention: the art, the colours, the themes, the historical background?? Everything is just perfect. A league on its own. This is a bl you won't confuse with others. It's just. Ugh.
I want to read this all over again so as to understand the story better but also, I want to have my memory wiped out so I could read it for the first time again.
It was even cute at times how they both kept being in denial. There was tension and it was hot but then...the drugs. Felt like the author made the both of them drug the other so it wouldn't be as morally questionable but two wrongs don't make one right.
It was also really cute how ml gave mc his whole ass pass book but the story just didn't go anywhere. There was no growth in hehe characters, issues that needed addressing weren't addressed.
I would love to just think the story got cut off due to not extending the contract (not having extras is a clue) and while that sucks for the author, it's way better than admitting they wrote a story that never reached its potential bc their skills were lacking.
This was a regrettable read. It was funny in the beginning. I wanted to like it but ah.
No because if you're asking me with that face, I would jump you in the car
Like it's often a pleasant surprise when a bl is decensored after all the lightsabers but I badly need the lightsaber for this one. Dicks are already ugly in real life, why it gotta be a jumpscare every time I read an update??
That reads weird, I mean I was just reading a verse bl anthropology before this and this cp really has the potential to be verse.
With Nakwon I feel like he wouldn't really care about positions, like it's stopped being about exhibiting authority for him at this point. With how much he's said I love you here I feel like sex would be purely an expression of his feelings, like he wouldn't care who's entering whom and it would just be about being close to Mokhwa fr. Like he would wear Mokhwa as his skin if he could
And for Mokhwa I think it would serve him well to take a break from just receiving all the time, and I don't mean just sexually. He's always had things just happen to him, and he's never really been the one to initiate whether it's receiving attention from the ladies, receiving affection or the fact that said attention is being removed/not supplied anymore (gwangwoo). Like, my man, you're living this life too
Like why did this not surprise me, I didn't even blink
I didn't think to call this art style watercolor until the panels where the ghost bride recalled her name (the part where the art transitions into the negative space (the canvas texture, which I also just noticed a few weeks ago) in paint splotches. Like that part looks to me like watercolor paint effects but I can't really say the same for the rest because it looks crisp and the colors aren't transparent. Is it safe to call this semi-watercolor?
And no that doesn't mean I like Nakwon. I started reading this today and always thought it interesting that most of the story is told in Nakwon's perspective. It looks to me the author intended it, we weren't supposed to like Nakwon at all. His thoughts on his rape, him as a person, they were all there for us to see. We know he intended to rape Mokhwa so we can't call it a mistake. Rather, a grave sin, that he acknowledges he did, which is Something. Too often in these BLs, the rape is only brushed upon if even at all, so for Nakwon to admit it, show to us readers that just because his feelings for Mokhwa have become love doesn't mean he can be forgiven for what he has done. And despite his admittance, he still fails, like that unconsented kiss in the summer vacation house (thank goodness for the fireworks), so we're always reminded that he is an imperfect person.
And is that not the most human a drawn fictional character can be, in trying to change and failing? Honestly, I don't know if he can ever be forgiven, that's up to Mokhwa ig, but as a fictional character, his growth is something I would love to watch upon.
Also, I just really love the language in which the story delivers itself. It's almost like reading a novel. I usually view gangster-themed works as tacky but there's something sophisticated in the language used, even with Mokhwa where it's more...raw.
Also, Nakwon really could have given Mokhwa more time to make sense out of what's happening, but Mokhwa has acknowledged that this is a situation he can get out of, he has free will, so that's Something.
And I don't know why I jumped into this thinking it was already completed. Rip me.
I loved the art and the story, but because of the length, all the base information necessary is squished in the beginning, which is hard to take in all at once personally, because 1, it's 3am, 2, I'm bad with names, and 3, half my brain is turned off when u read manhwas. I imagine it would be easier to absorb the story if it were colored, as in the colors would have helped me in compartmentalizing all that information, but the art is truly beautiful. And unique for this day and age. I loved the use of screen tones. And it was personally interesting how it told so much in the panels despite the panels being small. Idk if I have the words to explain what I mean but I meant it as a compliment. It feels larger than life despite being enclosed in frames.
Also the concept of reincarnation has always been fascinating to me, and I would always enjoy seeing different takes on it I think I would have to give this another read (or two) to have full appreciation of it. But even at the state of my brain right now, it's perfect. 5/5.
Despite the obvious lack respect for something as basic as a person's authority on their own body.
At this point, when I see something like this, I stop seeing the fictional character but the person behind the work. Like??? Miss ma'am what are you thinking?????
Because I don't remember anything, it's like I get weekly amnesia right before every update, so whenever we get a new chapter to read I'm always like WHO IS THIS?? WHO IS THAT? WHAT HAPPENED HERE? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?? WHERE AM I???
I feel like I have to write notes as I read bc I really can't remember anything but I don't have the dedication or the patience for that. The saddest part about this is with good manhwas like Payback, I get the feeling that I liked/loved them but I for goodness' sake can't remember why