Zarathustra's Topics (204)

Interesting the the author used Jihwa's confession as yet another tipping point that makes Seungho realize what he wanted.
In the previous chapter we got Seungho confessing in a drunk state, not really intentionally to Nakyum although he heard every mumbling. Seungho was asking 'What do I want from you?" .
In this chapter Seungho plainly said it what he wanted. Using both Jihwa's confession to him and Nakyum's confession to Inhun, he knows what he is after now: he wants Nakyum to fall in love with him, he wants Nakyum saying that he adores him and see Nakyum's in a state he first saw him when he was confessing thinking of Inhun.
I don't know why so many readers are betting that Seungho is only confessing because of the fever or will deny it after.
I hope the story doesn't go this way because to me it seems the contrary. Seungho didn't know before what exactly he wanted from Nakyum. He felt he was losing control, he felt the rage but everything in the last chapters made him aware more and more. Including Jihwa's confession.
Like he said, he was listening to Jihwa profess his love for him and his immediate thought was how much he wished to be hearing all that from Nakyum. Now that he is clear on what he wants, he is not holding back on the words.
On the other hand, poor Nakyum, he will be overwhelmed with so much change because Seungho seems to be intense in every thing he does and right now he wants to let Nakyum know how much he got wrecked.

I'm shocked by the lack of talking about Seungho's back muscles and perfect ass.
The man is thick all over.

It seems like the author forgot to draw Nakyum's bandages....
I wonder if she will remember to add them back next week.

The new chapter has so much food for the shippers.
As for readers thinking that the sex doesn't fit, nobody can change their minds but I think Yaoi readers are so used to see only the smut part of sex scenes that they don't see it when a story use the sex as a trait in a character.
Someone here once posted this and I agree: the sex scenes with Seungho are not only smut in this story. Sex for Seungho is his language, the way he expresses himself, just like Nakyum has the paintings.
Seungho doesn't 'talk' his feelings or moods, he 'fucks'. If he is bored, if he is angry, if he is craving or if he is needy or if he is falling in love, the story uses the sex to show Seungho's mood.
Sex is the way he communicates, the way he reacts to everything. Even the lack of sex shows this. What Seungho did when he first became aware that he was having feelings? He stayed away from Nakyum. He stop the sex, stop himself from 'talking' communicating with NK.
Look at the series of events leading to now, what is going on Seungho's head right now? He is feverish, he is in love, probably for the first time, he is haunted by his past, he may not know for sure but he senses people around him conspiring behind his back .. Jihwa, Min,... and this moment is the very first time Seungho and Nakyum are facing each other alone for a while.
Seungho is craving Nakyum so bad, he needs to say it. The sex is his natural talk and lost in the criticism that the sex in the chapter is filler and unnecessary is the author's talent in using the sex not as smut but as development: Seungho never was so intimate, he never talked like this during their act, he may not yet be in the phase where he could say all this without the fever and the sex but that's the point of the sex in this chapter: the intimacy of it. Seungho is not quite yet on the 'I long for you' direct words so he is doing it in the only way he knows it and it's through sex.

Okay but Seungho's reflexes are like a ninja cat?
He was passed out and Nakyum didn't even touched him before he snatched his hand on air?
Or does the man has any paranoia about being attacked while sleeping ?

Some light notes on this chapter: Nakyum edition.

- Nakyum curious about Seungho's past;
- Nakyum fixing the bed for Seungho to rest in and trying to coach him to lay down.
- Nakyum concern for Seungho's feeling uncomfortable with the hat.
- Nakyum getting flustered because he remembered his wet dream.
- Nakyum reaching out to take Seungho's hat off for him.

Nakyum is already emotionally attached to Seungho and although there is a part of him that was always attracted to the danger and forbidden feeling that Seungho represented from start, it was the small signs of vulnerability in Seungho that is making way for other feelings. Seungho thinks he never needed anyone but he needs Nakyum.
Nakyum's character main trait is his kindness so the fact that he doesn't hold hate in his heart for long towards Seungho fits in the story. Then there is the other part of Nakyum's character: he is a lowborn and he doesn't matter to anyone. He doesn't belong anywhere, no one misses or needs him. That's is when Nakyum's heart starts being pulled by Seungho. Despite his Lord cold ways, Nakyum must have instinctively feel how much Seungho occupies his mind with him. Although he is convinced he is kept around for sex, there are signs that Nakyum realizes that he has some hold on Seungho. The first time he probably felt this power was when he calmed down Seungho with his hand in the patio scene, after he run away. Seungho was two seconds of killing Inhun when he bragged of his authority over NK. Lots of other smalls things in between, we get the scene where he hugged Seungho to stop him from beating the servant. Something that even Min knew would not be tempted by anyone else because everyone knows better than believe they can stop Seungho in a fit of rage. The night where Seungho slept hugging him and having nightmares was another sign of a needy Seungho that must have raised some kind of awareness in NK that sex was not all about. The last days events where Seungho beat up two men because of him .... now he starts making sense of Seungho's moods and again, even if he still won't admit that he can be important for someone, he must be feeling that weird feeling of being 'needed' by someone. This is new to Nakyum, no one ever needed him as Seungho does more and more. Feeling needed is feeling cherished and the more vulnerable and open Seungho becomes in his own transition back to being the human he once were, the more Nakyum will get hooked too on this newfound sensation of being important to someone else.

This chapter was so heavy.
One of the saddest parts of it was the doctor describing the path of Seungho destruction by his own father.

From a bright, healthy, good natured, promising young kid to the tormented, hot headed, ill tempered version of adult Seungho:

"He was actually one of the brightest young men in this region ..."
"He looked alert, his complexion was rosy ... his complexion was Lighthearted, even though he'd been dragged over to see me"

" After a few years I heard he had delirious fits and insomnia"
"The second time I saw him, his complexion had darkened, and the light had left his eyes ... (this part kills me)

"Something must have happened while he was forced to stay home."

How many years, Seungho 'treatment' went on? If he was entombed when he was around 13 and took years for the doctor to see him again in that madman state where he looked much older, it must have been a good 5 or more years of physical and emotional torture.

Then, we know that his father cut his top knot to humiliate him in public so the 'treatment' probably only served to make Seungho to revolt. He went on living the most libertine and scandalous life he could just to make sure to shame his father.

On a soft, side note I love the details that the author gives about Nakyum's room.

You see a set of painting brushes neatly organized... The room is big. We know it must be warm, clean and just like his clothes, Nakyum must have nice comfortable bedding to sleep in. We already know he gets the same good food as the lord of the house.
Seungho wants to say that he brought Nakyum there just to be a plaything but who does he think he was fooling all this time? Certainly not the servants that can see how Seungho bend backwards to please Nakyum and want him to like living there, even though he won't admit it.

- The letter is not from the father. It doesn't make sense that Seungho and the servant would be referring to his father as 'Lord Song' and even less that his father would meet in a tavern.( Plus remember the father is sick, the reason why his brother went to ask him to visit).
- I really don't have any sympathy left for Jihwa. He is not only weak but he is also without any character. I could understand he being easily manipulated at first when he had just been dumped but if we go by the story, it has been MONTHS! That means that he is now not only moved by the heat of passion but he is on the stage of cold revenge just for the sake of being petty and cruel. Since I really don't care much for the cardboard fan service character that is the hot hobo assassin, my only resentment is if the story wastes too much scenes smutting on these two insufferable characters are a pairing. Honestly, I hope Jihwa gets a least a good beating after all this, even more if he is into the new cruel schema that Min is planning for Nakyum.
- Min is setting up to be the worst villain in this story. I think his future is Seungho's sword.
- Who the fuck is Lord Song? Both the servant and Jihwa know some secrets from Seungho but while the servant seems to want to protect Seungho, Jihwa is apparently trying to have some leverage with it.
- Nakyum misses the dick. Not any dick, that dick. More honestly, he misses being held by Seungho.
- Nakyum's erotic dreams changed with a very important detail: He is dreaming that Seungho calls him by his name and confesses to him. We see a lot of 'My Lord' from Nakyum to Seungho during sex but I don't think we see a lot of Seungho saying his name except when he is talking about Nakyum to other people.
- A lot of people saying that Jihwa wrote the letter to lure Seungho out of the house so the assassin could take him... it could be. However, that would only make sense if Jihwa and the hobo were in closer contact. If we remember, the hobo told Jihwa to stay away and not draw attention and he didn't seem to want share his plans. Jihwa also doesn't know that the hobo killed the other partner. So it seems hard to believe that Jihwa is acting on some kind of plan he and the hobo assassin thought together.
Anyhow, we will find out soon enough.

Need to come back every year and re read this just to see if my opinion changes.
Nope. Hiroi is still an unnecessary third wheel, uninteresting, childlike character and a solo Take x Mine pairing would be so much better.
It seems that the more times I read it, the less I like Hiroi.