Kiwwi's Things

ur a straight woman surrounded by misogynists growing up and have tried hard to escape it by choosing your friends carefully. In addition to the good friends uv collected over the years, u become friends with a wise and insightful guy from highschool that shares the same views as u especially in gender equality. He's smarter, more eloquent and well-read than u are and u just love the way his mind works. Among all the ppl and friends u know, u believe he's the best example of a man that understands the nuances of men and women. U end up marrying that guy and have a little kid with him. Now, u had a fight recently and are now talking it out, when suddenly, mid-conversation, it dawns on u that u ended up marrying a misogynist anyway.

So what now?

Just sad whenever I see my younger sis rage and lash out the same way our mom used to with us.
Also sad cos I understand her since I do it the same way when I'm really at my limit. But since im a mom now too, i do my hardest not to make it a common occurrence like my sister does. Its hard to unlearn bad behaviors but at least I have my husband to step in when it's all too much and help me de-stress. But my sis doesn't have anyone and everytime i see her she's an even worse younger version of our mom and i worry for her and her future relationships with people. Funny enough tho, she lives with our mom who's grown older and calmed down and now whenever my sis is angry it feels like watching the past but with the roles reversed with my mom being the one to walk on eggshells around her lol. Anyway we both never intended to become duplicates of our mom. I know my mom didn't intend for that to happen either. But now i feel even more pressured to be the perfect parent so I wont regret how my own daughter would turn out in the future

No cuz stepping on shit INSIDE a crowded stuffy jeepney while tryna squeeze one butt cheek just to sit among the other passengers in rush hour traffic is just the worst

If u live in the Philippines u alrdy know the traffic made us all sit 2 hours in stuffy sweaty stinky shit ass hell with that poop smeared jeepney floor

Also just posting here bcos ive forsaken all other social medias lol

Theres this korean instant noodles that I rlly like and theres a version of it thats shrimp flavored which i absolutely hate. I have been very vocal about my hatred for it that im pretty sure everyone around me knows it like basic info.

So yesterday I craved (BIG CRAVING) for those noodles (the not-shrimp-flavored one obvsly). So I asked my husband to buy me some and he left and it took him hours to come back cos he had other errands and my noodles were just a side quest but i endured my hunger and waited patiently anyway. He comes home tired with the shrimp flavored one and he hoped id still be glad enough he at least brought me back something instead of nothing cos the store he checked only had the shrimp variation (there r other stores nearby but he didnt bother to check them).

and well how would you feel in my situation? I kept telling myself its such a small thing and its so childish to even be angry and disappointed and frustrated about it, but i was. And i couldn't even express myself in my own home cos my visiting mother and mother-in-law was in the house and i felt like if i showed how upset I was over something so little they'll all just shoot me down like some toddler throwing a tantrum cos thats what they do best.

So i dryly said thanks and cooked the noodles and ate 2 bites and threw it up (cos forcing urself to eat something u dislike while keeping the I-wanna-scream-and-cry lump in ur throat will purge u of wtvr ur eating) and went through lunch, dinner, and bed having eaten nothing. And today i woke up still upset about the whole thing and rn im mad at myself for still feeling that way cos im goddamn adult acting like a spoiled child all bcos i wanted noodles. Like, i wish I never even asked for it or i wish my husband just didn't get anything at all.

Why do I have to just be the bigger person and be fucking grateful for receiving something I hate just cos someone made the effort to get it despite being tired

You know those fantasy MCs with the dimensional storage ability?

For all we know, they could be shitting and pissing while fighting