I seriously planned to kill my family(mom, dad, bro and sis)
To not stay in jail too long, I planned to do that before 18
I thought that if they died I could be happy 3 reply
I already felt that, I'm late at school because of mental health issues and when I saw almost all my friends finishing studies and starting to work I felt left out reply
I have started to watch the anime Bloom into you and Koito is so relatable, I love romance genre and I daydream to live a beautiful romance while it doesn't happen to me too I never dated anyone, the only person I loved it was one-sided and she just broke my heart, I could never experience butterflies So I watch this anime while understanding Koito feelings and thoughts Anyone that feels the same or get me and Koito?
I wonder do you have a mental illness If yes, what is it? It can be something diagnosied or that you suspect For my part, I have psychosis(maybe I have schizophrenia), I'm anxious and sometimes I feel empty, unmotivated so I wonder if I could be depressive too or if it's just symptoms of schizophrenia(no motivation is one of the symptoms)
My dad said "Are you pregnant?" to me because I have a bit of belly fat, it made me so angry I screamed "Do you want me to punch you, fucking idiot?" My dad is always mean to me and then say "Just kidding" when I'm angry Of course not he's not joking, he just never take responsibility for his words, this fucking lesbophobic sexist
My dad asked me what I was doing so I said I watch a lesbian show (23.5 series) and then he said he always wanted to do things with two lesbians I told him he doesn't know what is a lesbian, and he replied they can go with men, it's just they never tried with a man He disgusts me By the way, when I vented in a LGBT Discord server a straight man told me "That's too personal fr to tell here gosh" He's so insensitive So I'm here sharing with my girls
Recently, I think about the fact that I want a girlfriend (I'm a wlw) but at the same time I'm like I have mental health issues like anxiety about wind making me scared to go outside, I have psychosis and I feel empty sometimes So even if I find someone and it's rather smooth, it'll be difficult to go on dates because I'll be scared to go outside and because of my mental health issues I could be a burden for my lover, complaining about stuffs And also I want to move out in another country, like Thailand or Spain so I need to find someone that want that too So I don't know, maybe I should wait, but at the same time my mental health issues are not gonna stop soon What do you think?
