this could have had potential to be nice and healing, but became so codependent and toxic. I am sad. Hojin is such an adorable person. Yoosung abused him way too much for me to forgive him. hhhhh damn...I can somewhat accept such relationships, if both parties are fucked up. Like if Hojin was also kind of a dark person with tendencies for bad shit crazy stuff. Like a bit twisted. But he is just depressed and looks like he is barely holding onto life. Empty. I wish he would be able to go to university, have friends, have a nice last few years of his 20s and be able to swim again and maybe even participate in small tournaments. Do things he loves and graduate and find a job he loves. Like finally heal ya know. And fill his emptiness. Because love with an external person alone won't do that. Hong
yeah maybe but i think it is what the author wanted to achieve. i also thought that this will be lovey dovey but bam they all need therapy T.T
but anw i love how their characters r just so complex and the problem isnt about one thing and not only about ‘third’ party or cheating (external)
and the way i can relate hard to hojin, i think the author depict his character so well
and yes there are things that still lingering to me and left me w questions that i cant describe it
but overall this series still good right
I finished it now, and I kind of changed my initial opinion a bit. As I said, I don't mind if things "make sense". If both parties are twisted and find their own "healthy dynamic". Whatever "healthy" means for them. As long as both can be themselves, feel loved for who they are and have their needs met without sacrificing their own self I don't mind. And it seems to be the case with these two. I dislike the physical abuse and how Hojin said once "This is how he shows his love it seems." after Yoosung beat him when he was worried/jealous. I hope that Yoosung stops physically abusing him and Hojin would stop thinking that him being physically abused by Yoosung is just a form of his love. I know Hojin would never even slap Yoosung in a fun way ya know like friends do on the shoulder, because he is to kind and cannot imagine hurting his loved one. But apart from this Hojin seems fulfilled now. I hope he can fulfil all his dreams and live a less empty life now that everything is settled. As in have freedom. Go in and out and maybe have follow his dreams somewhat. I also do like Yoosungs development, though it was subtle. He comes from a place where he was cut off from reality (of everyone else) that 'high up' and never really learned normal shit. Normal friendship, normal love, affection and normal socialising. So he was pretty good in that sense. Considering how good of a brother he was also. And he probably does have some mild antisocial personality spectrum disorder. So yeah. It ain't too bad. I hope we see some more extras from their real life about how healthy and freely they love and are themselves, now that the fucker of a grandfuck is gone.
when I started reading this and it starts with the 'he lucky though, cause he can make a living by helping his friend make dick shaped toys' ...wow...ahahahaha what a prologue (≧∀≦)
this is like ya know when sb doesn't learn love properly through their parents etc. and confuses types of love and mixes them up. Humans are capable of brainwashing themselves a bit, especially when they lack information and it creates a bias to bridge the gap in knowledge they have and overcome potential negative stress from having that gap and feeling a sense of insecurity. Cause not knowing can literally make us panic if we are in danger and need to think fast. So our brain kinda creates fake confidence so we don't stumble IF we ever have a crisis and need to gather info fast to come up with a solution. Anyway. So I used to be similar to this. Where I kept confusing types of love. Like I would think I am romantically interested in an older man, because he was treating me so well and making me feel good and it made me care for him and trust him and shit. It was platonic love, a feeling like a "father figure", but my heart that was starved for love confused stuff like this, because my idea of what love is was incomplete and dysfunctional so experiencing a more functional "father-like" person made me think "this must be what they call love" as in "romantic love", but it was in fact not. I could imagine "doing it" with them, because this is what we learned is part of romantic love yeah? But I dunno how to explain, if I was infant of them I would never feel like that. It would actually disturb me. Feel off and wrong. And once someone like this actually sexually harassed me, someone I felt platonic affection for, and it was the most disturbing and painful thing ever. It felt so wrong. I felt betrayed. That he would think "like that" of me. That is when I understood that something was off about my understanding of love and its nuances. I remembered multiple instances such as this since my early teenage years and realised that most of the times where I thought "I was in love" it was actually not really "that love". It was admiration, curiosity, friendship or a feeling like "this is what it would be like to have an older/younger brother". I realised I was never truly "in love". Never had true carnal desire towards a man and literally just felt sexually attracted to him. It solidified itself when I did meet someone and felt this literally from the second I saw him. I was like "wow, I WANT HIM". While I was with him, my body would always naturally gravitate towards him and crave physical touch even if it's just our legs touching. My eyes would search for him in a room. I would discover new sides of me, my sexual side, my erotic side and my feminine side just by being with him (without even having sex). I understood what they mean when they say "feeling like a woman with him". I did. Was so electrifying. The "jealousy" is also different with him than with anyone else. Is nuanced. So maybe...MAYBE this is like woonyoung having some sort of platonic love towards the teacher going on that he confuses and subconsciously is actually romantically in love with dohan. But he doesn't realise it. Is stubborn about it, due to having established this "fact" about himself in his head already and identifying with it etc. It would comfort me to think this way in this story at least.
Omg you rlly committed (≧∀≦)
haha yeah....but sadly didn't work out with that one guy through whom I learned the difference between like sexual/romantic interest and platonic. But nonetheless I am grateful for the experience as it thought me so much.
but I always have a hard time with cuties like Lin. Like how they are this overflowing with love like puppies that make you feel all this anxiety cause they walk around as if they carry their heart out wide open.
Bit they so tiny and look 13-14 haha. And Dosung looks like a cute girl (not that boys and men cannot look feminine or androgynous, he is just pretty is what I mean). And girl what happened to a "hello" and introducing yourself. She just goes in and confesses as the first ever thing she said to this guy hahahaha(づ￣ ³￣)づ
how sexy the body of Wolf is. Especially in the cover. Like dayummmm that a snack.
only people who know the feeling of being compared with others against your will by those who you KNOW don't understand you and SEE you as you truly are, but are still so confident in projecting it on you and then say "they love you and know you better than you know yourself" or something akin to this understand why this is suffocating. The flashback is a story that should be like a prequel on its own. Mentioned a bit in this story, that is the story of Ian as MC, but not focused on like this. It feels as if the author let go of the original story, cause they disliked it or had a blockage or something and cannot stop since they started to write the flashback as the ideas keep coming or something. I dunno man. This is sad. Sad to see how we the readers care more about their own characters than they do. I dunno if the author will turn this around and make it ok and resolve these issues we can sense. I hope they can. Cause Ian deserves it. Just because someone has the reincarnated soul, doesn't mean they are the same person as in their previous one. Ian is a completely different individual, with his own story, feelings, personality and identity. He is unique. He is not Brian. Or Brian with amnesia or something. Brian is dead. And he is Ian who is alive now. It is so painful when people see through you or project something onto you against your will. It is suffocating and lonely as fuck. Especially if it is done by someone you care about or worse someone you love. The flashbacks on their own are great. But they should not be like this. Everything is messy rn. Oh man. I will not read this until it is very far ahead. #－.－)
the psychological tag !(〜￣△￣)〜