
Would you mind if your boyfriend lets his sister in law read your chats with him? When i ask him about her he says he can't talk about her cos he respects her privacu but he would let her read our chats if she wanted to. what would you do in this case?

this is kind of a random place to ask this lol but I mean if you aren't getting anywhere with you bf, maybe get in touch with the sister-in-law. It's not like she needs to read them, so if you dont like it and she respects your beliefs, then she'd stop on her own. also i dont think its an invasion of privacy when you talk about someone... it's not like your asking super personal info im assuming

I would be angry if my significant other let someone else read our conversations. Because then he's not respecting my privacy.
He's not respecting your privacy by letting her read your chats. It's none of her business to know what you guys talk about privately. If you wanted her to know, then you would make a group chat. I think it's wrong that he's letting her read the chats and I think you should tell him how that makes you feel.

Bruh, what kind of logic is that? If he respect her privacy, why can't he do the same with our conversations? What business or right does this sister have in seeing what we say when it's just the two of us? I like to see how he would feels if I ever let his mom or siblings see our texts. Since he won't talk, I probably confront the sister-in-law and tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel. If she doesn't see what the problem is, I would not hesitate to stop being polite and tell her how invasive it is. But that's just me.
There are many other factors that would change my response. Factors such as relationships, culture, and other past problems that tie into this scenario. I don't know the whole situation and not all problems in relationships are black and white.

Depends if you care or not. And also depends on the type of relationship he has with his sisters. There are reasons why siblings get that close. And if you don't like it, you need to talk to your boyfriend to see if there is compromise there. If not, move on, he isn't for you. Cause do you want a lifetime of it? For me, it probably wouldn't bother me unless we are talking about something secret, and if he loves or just likes you enough he should know how to separate the two. This isn't a black and white situation though, so communicate, communicate, communicate. Even talk to the sister (not secretly)

I would feel betrayed without him being secretive about this sister in law so if he tells me that he respects her that would make me feel 10 times more betrayed
I have a group chat with my sister and a common friend and recently my sister hear our memos in front of our mom and it bothered me so much
I can't imagine how you felt
I don't want to cause problems between you two but I feel like he just told you he doesn't respect u

Update. we got into a fight. i told him that he should respect my privacy our privacy because ite mine and he suddenly got mad and told me not fo talk shit bout his family (he also told me to shut up) and when i said i literally didn't he said well it felt like u did, jusy cos i said i don't feel comfy wit her reading out texts. and he said im overdramatizing this and its because of me we fought and apparently because i said that he became angry because he thought i was insulting his family which i didn't mention anywhere and told me to shut up

Oh gross.. I was going to offer a thought that maybe he loves you so much that he wants to share your fun conversations with his siblings, the way you show off funny videos.
But if he’s responding that way...
I suggest two things,
a) it’s possible you’re misunderstanding him and need to try a little harder. Ask why he does it and talk it out.
b) break up with him. There’s a zillion guys out there, why waste time on one dude who yells at you?
You’ve obviously tried a, I think it’s time to cut him off. Sounds toxic

yeah i told him. im fed up. Its always the same cycle. we fight because im dramatic whe i actually just tel lhim babe pay attention to me because when we talk he always forgets the things i say and asks bout them20 min later in chat and i know he has a lot of problems with his father and a lot of stress so i told him its ok baby focus on ur stuff even if we speak 20 min its okaybut please during those 20 min try to focus on me. because i need support as well. and i never pressure him on anything. i don't pressure to spend more time together all i want is a call before we fall asleep to talk to each other. I literally give him no issues im always positive i tell him its going to be alright ou will get through this. Even when we fight even if i get md i never insult him. We been dating for 10 months now and i don't know what to do. Honestly im at that point where im tired but i don't really want to deal with anyone new because the Bullshit i went through with guys just ruined my head. And he was very understanding but idk what to do honestly

I just want him to respect me and pay attention to me when we speak. i don't even ask for much and he calls me a princess when i do like ok princess ill do that. i just want the same amount of lvoe nd respect i give...he tells me i mean the world to him but then he goes and does that...i know we can't be happy all the time but why do i have to beg for attention at time andnot be leff on read. But if hurts so much when i think of losing him...but i guess i have to move on. i just don't know how

Throw the whole guy away, friend! You won't regret it later on! He doesn't respect you if he can't give you the privacy. The fact that he told you to shut up proved he doesn't respect you. I'm super super close with my siblings, but would never ask them to let me see their chats with their significant others and vice versa.

Throw the whole guy away, friend! You won't regret it later on! He doesn't respect you if he can't give you the privacy. The fact that he told you to shut up proved he doesn't respect you. I'm super super close with my siblings, but would never ask them to let me see their chats with their significant others and vice versa. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

It's gunna hurt one way or another and I think that's something generally can't avoid. Because at this point it sounds like you're being put down just for asking to be respected and that to me sounds more unbearable. You shouldn't have to ask for respect that should be a given for both. So probably a final conversation without blaming anyone (ex. When YOU do this ...) Should be more like (when this is said or when this happens this is how I feel). But not putting yourself down either because I get the feeling you're teetering on thinking you are being overdramatic... And if he can't get that then end it. Love is not love if it's boredering abuse. Why condition onself to get put down?

we talked with this one as well and he was dead set on respect and first tiem it happened he told me he was angry and when hes angry he can't control what he says so i said ok but it kept happening and hes just like ok i apologize and he repeats. maybe im stupid for letting it slide but idk maybe im tolerating to much really

Hey if it keeps happening then he's a LIAR. He needs to have coping skills to deal with his anger, not take it out on you like that. Like is he even TRYING to work on the anger? What does he do to work on his control? does he work? Bc if he lashes out like that at work then he gonna get fired real quick. Controlling one's anger is a very beneficial skill. If it keeps on repeating he's not even trying??? Look an apology is just words. He needs to show with his actions that he is truly going to change if he's sorry. It could be something you two can work on together though if you don't plan to throw him out. Ultimately it IS your choice. But if it was me I'd throw the whole guy away. He shouldn't take it as a personal attack or family insult for you wanting your own privacy. Like would he be okay if your closest family member got to read every single thing you two have messaged eachother? I don't believe so.
Relationships come and go, and it takes effort on both ends for things to work out. If it's too toxic that's when you BOTH work on it together or you cut the rope that tied you two together.

im so sorry this is happening to you :( but I sincerely believe it'll be the best for you, you don't deserve to be disrespected like that. if he has been like this during the ten months, then it is highly likely he wont change. if you do end up deciding to fight through it, has he considered going to a psychiatrist to check his anger issues? if he cant come up with a coping method himself, then he will need professional help before it gets even worse.

Honestly speaking i think ur too good for him of course you're dating him for reasons, but i think at this pt he's taking you wayyy too much for granted. To me it just seems like for all the fights, he blames you. And since it keeps happening repeatedly, i dont think he'll think that its actually not your fault. An outcome i see is him leaving you bc he's had enough of it which makes me mad cause like all youve done is be concerned and want your own respect. And also, idk what exactly may have happened in his life so im saying all this without knowing much about u or him. And also, if you do end up leaving him, i dont think you need to go and find someone new. Plus people change. He mightve been understanding before, but over time, things just gradually change, whether or not there was something that triggered it.

You deserve better
I don't know you but I'm deducting that you do because you have put up with his shit for TEN months
If you don't want to meet someone new just don't
But don't stay with him because of that
Also, you seem to have had bad experiences in the past so why not try to spare yourself some more
Don't give yourself more baggage by staying with him longer
Nothing excuses bad treatment

Life is way too short for this shit. Break up and be alone for a while. It takes two to clap, and if you can't even discuss your feelings with him what's the point? You are supposed to share each others burdens. Not you take all his burdens while he piles on more burderns on you then teases you about it. Nope. Get out before it's hard to get out. ANd if you ever take him back, he has to change those parts. If he attacks you for telling him how you feel, then fuck him. Nope. Bye. Better to be miserable alone.

10 months in and you're tired. Do you really see a future with this guy? He's all about respecting his family but he doesn't give you the respect you need. He's highly likely one of those individuals that treasure his family and friends more than his own lover. I'd encourage you to find a better guy since your ideals dont match with his. No sister in law nor siblings should even read anyone's chat. you support him but he doesn't support you. This isn't a healthy relationship. You will end up ruining yourself in the long run. Leave for your sanity and mental health. Good luck.

I mean if you brought this problem up with him and he blamed you or is just ignoring it then you should just break up with him cause he sounds a lil toxic. And if you do breakup you dont have to meet someone new. Being single is a thing ans it is honestly refreshing. It can help you rediscover yourself. If you're uncomfortable in a relationship, it's never worth it! Whether its romantic, familial, or friendship. You're priority!
this reeks of potential