"So how long do you plan to keep me all to yourself?"
"Oh, a hundred years or so"
(chapter 8)
So she may have some hope. I missed this part before lol
Also, more information regarding the entity Yohan is (Azathoth):
To Azathoth all existence is nothing but a speck of dust, even the great old ones (the Gods fl saw in her dream) + the outer Gods like Nia (Niarlathotep) are nothing but murky, random creations unable to truly be autonomous, to dance in something other than his tune if i had to express it more poetically lol It's like a human playing a videogame, seeing and interacting with the intelligently written characters but still feeling a sort of emptiness they wouldn't feel with a truly'conscious' autonomous being like other, fellow humans or even animals. Hence why Azathoth (Yohan) is so obsessed with fl. Even though he can mostly control her, she still manages to see things beyond what he mindlessly allows. This means she has a sort of 'autonomy' that makes Azathoth feel like he interacts with someone that truly'exists', unlike the 'speck of dust' he mindlessly created. In a way, it's almost like the existence of others just doesn't register to him, except for fl. It gets so abstract i seriously can't explain it any better
(Also Nia really has a wife, the Elk Goddess Yhoundeh. Also, the "crawling chaos" comment by the outer Gods and great Old ones in fl's dream, was referring to Nia as well, since he is Azathoth's servant and messenger. He's one of the entities that could be directly considered "evil " and not amoral since he intentionally does evil things. Hence why he tried to show fl the shining trapezohedron (the ring), to make her go mad, which lead to Azathoth threatening to also turn him into a mat like he did with Dagon(the green, fish dragon creature).
Oh! So that's what the ring means... I thought nia was trying to break her free but he was just evil....
Wait, I don't understand. Could you explain what the ring meant please?
I literally thought that Nia was trying to help her the whole time and that he was also the cat for some reason lmao
OP mentioned this:
"He's (Nia) one of the entities that could be directly considered "evil " and not amoral since he intentionally does evil things. Hence why he tried to show fl the shining trapezohedron (the ring), to make her go mad, which lead to Azathoth threatening to also turn him into a mat like he did with Dagon(the green, fish dragon creature)."
The ring is an artifact from the Lovecraft Mythos, like all the entities in the story which are based as well on Lovecraft stories. Nia (Niarthalotep his real name) is a malevolent, chaotic entity which used the ring artifact to make mc gaze at it so she can go crazy (remember the scene in which Nia asked fl to gaze at his ring?). This ring makes people who look at it lose their mind, because they get to gaze at things the human mind cannot comprehend.
Nope haha He's just one of the entities that love to yap about the cosmos, spreading fear to mortals. It's basically his job (which he also happens to enjoy). Now that you're given this perspective, a lot of his scenes will make much more sense.
In the novel there are side stories as well, which show us in detail all of the horrifying things he has done to her. So no worries, it doesn't end here. This was just the end of the game he has won.
So, to sum it up: He's NOT seeing her as his equal in a literal way, he just thinks she's worth more as the only anomaly who became cognisant of hi,.
And he's not going to ever feel truly bad for what he has done to her. To him it was a play test.
Now that he has her set in the mindset he wants her to be, she'll at least get to live blissfully in ignorance. He's an evil entity to humans, so yeah, don't hold any expectations that he'll ever be kind, humane and regretful, and enjoy the story for the cosmic fear it has to offer.
Side stories? Let's go... I wanna see more of the other "deities" end up like "Dagon in a doormat", and him pulling "many more nasty sh..." behind her back (doesn't even have to be humans: he's got the whole "Ctulhu club" spying on him... just waiting for him to "punish" them all for being this nosy)
So, a barely legal teen and an adult slimeball who quite literally admitted he moulded her to his taste. I love how he also removed his ring the moment she told him she was 18. Disgusting creepy trash. And she ends up with him, a vulnerable, poor teen in the hands of the creep that admitted to grooming her.
Old fucks like him deserve to get fucking castrated. No wonder the sex scenes were making me feel uncomfortable, he reminds me of a lot of real life men (and that's not why we read FANTASY. I'd rather not be reminded of the trash in real world).
I'm disgusted. How is this supposed to be romantic? And for people that say boss ruined her life, yes that's true. The boss and the predator that took advantage of her.
Also for the people who call her a gold digger, shut the fuck up, she was groomed by a rich creep. This was PROSTITUTION of a vulnerable teen in poverty. She was a child and he's a slimy, old trash. Her choices and reactions are very understandable considering she was a groomed teen, she never had any other experience and depended on the predatory fuck who is taking advantage of her. She's a victim.
I am disgusted and beyond triggered. I just feel sorry for her and i hate the author for romanticising it by /SPOILER making her end up with her groomer, just because he apologised and made her his "priority" (that's what happens in the novel). Like, gee thanks! The guy who groomed a teen apologised for using her as something expendable and now uses her as his first choice. Now, we wouldn't want him to lose his successfully groomed victim, now that would be a waste, right?
And oh God, the sex talk... It wasn't cute...It wasn't sexy, It was plain creepy, and disgusting. His 'romantic' browsing category is barely legal because he can't avoid law with someone even younger. Once she becomes 30, he's going to ditch her and search for his next grooming victim.
She actually ends up w him I was fine reading this bc I rly thought she was gna dump him and end up with blondie
Nope, unfortunately.It really sucks.
Wait, how dyk? Was it announced?
Yeah, it's in the spoilers from the novel
What?! She'll end up with him? What about the blonde? What happened to him? Honestly I thought this is gonna end up like one of those threesome thing and or that she'll end with thr blonde guy (I'm even loving their moments wtf)
She'll stop feeling attracted to the blond one and go back to her groomer creepy mf. It's unfortunately what happens with most victims of grooming. She'll stop "getting wet" (yes, it was literally expressed like this in the novel) for the blond and break up just like that. Then the manipulative black haired fucker will approach her apologising and she'll just get back with him. The whole novel is just sex with no plot and romanticisation of abusive relationships.
My poor baby...All of the adults failed you and the first time after a long while that you chose to trust someone, you were utterly betrayed.
Now the title makes sense. "For your murder" refers to the revenge fl is going to take from the lawyer, the monster responsible for the death of a freaking abused child. I hate him. I genuinely hate him. Fl sees his true form, when she views him as a bug, a praying mantis, a disgusting predator who sees all of his victims as bugs, yet has no idea he's one himself. I love the symbolism.
Haha nice, now i'm just sobbing by myself because what that poor child went through is quite literally like someone is stabbing me in the heart. Especially since i can relate with some of his behavioural patterns, isolating himself, blaming himself, releasing his anger on the wrong people, using escapism to cope and more than anything feeling "wrong" and ultimately alone.
Fuck this Goddamn psychopath. I hope he burns in hell. Taking advantage of a csa victim AND a child currently, is a new low.
Randomly raping a servant woman that was unlucky enough to come across them was so disgusting, i find both of them revolting. It spells like this creepy ass fantasy some men have about hypnotism and sexual assault. Dropped because i can't stand them. Also, their thought process is incredibly dumb, they're meatheads with all the meaning of the word.
Aside from being completely trash personality wise, the men are also chopped in comparison to fl. This story is just sad, there's nothing attractive about it, even though it's supposed to honour the smut part. Dropped.
Robert Blake was one of the few humans who found out about a small part of the truth regarding the universe and Nyarhalotep(Nia the secretary from the manhwa).His mind began to slowly deteriorate. He was the first human to ever pray to Azathoth. He begged him to spare him but yeah, he just perished in the end. (some are my interpretations but the basic mention is accurate).
In a way, the only way mc can escape from him (since killing herself is pointless because he can just bring her back), is to truly find out the truth about the universe and who Azathoth's role really is, which will let her get erased from existence as she will be defying the laws of the universe. However, considering Azathoth manages to control her in the end, making her stay forever with him in complete ignorance, she'll never be able to achieve that as long as he's interested in her.
Her plan B would be to wait until he wakes up, because if Azathoth wakes up, the whole world will stop existing, getting lost in the void. And he'll also mindlessly forget all he has chaotically generated through his dreams, including her. This will take A WHILE lmao
Her plan c would be to make him lose interest in her, which is fat chance lol
Another fan fact is that saying Azathoth has no true form isn't completely true. He does have one ultimate form, which is beyond human comprehension. It's basically his eldritch, sleeping body which no being in existence, Gods or humans will ever be able to gaze upon, as it is in a 'spiritual'(not exactly the correct word, but i'm trying really hard to make it comprehensible) plane above everything in existence. It would be like a "thought" attempting to notice the human who has generated it. That's why, the countless forms we see, are all projections in his "dreams", and his dreams are our plane of existence.
Sorry guys for geeking out for this character, you probably are tired of seeing my comments lmao, but here we go, some information about ml (Azathoth) so you can see how awesome is the author with her almost completely accurate interpretation:
So: Time and space depend on Azathoth, he(?) is the center of chaos, he IS chaos itself. Azathoth is lord of all. Azathoth gives the law to all worlds for he is the primordial creator. He is the chaos that pulsates in the heart of the universe, creating an infinite number of dimensions.
Basically a being of infinite power, nothing beats him because everything exists because of him.
Parts from Lovecraft writings:
"Matter and light were born anew as space once had known them. And comets, suns and worlds sprang flaming into life, through nothing survived to tell that they had been and gone, been and gone, always and always, back to no first beginning"
See how it all fits? How well the author has written him? And we and mc only see a glimpse of what Azathoth allows to be seen for he is existence itself, something beyond human comprehension. The existential crises and pure horror mc is going through is something that would break ANYONE.
You can't fight Azathoth, you would just go mad because it'd be like fighting existence itself. Knowing how mc SPOILER will live forever in complete ignorance, under his control is terrifying.
Edit: Another Lovecraft quote:
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
That goes even harder when you consider that the author is kinda using him as a parralel for abusers. From his perspective he might just be trying to understand this human toy, catch her attention because she caught his, meanwhile she is forced to live through a lot of hurt and grief because of his "interest".
There was a great comment on here that went into how it reflects on the boys will be boys culture, since it really is just that easy to justify his actions with "he's an nonhuman god-like concept, who doesn't know any better". Also note how he basically went through all available relationship routes with FL that mostly consisted of very stereotypical ML features, like the protective type, the boy next door, etc.
The author is onto some brilliant shit.
Saying he doesn't comprehend the value of morality because he's a cosmic being is necessarily a justification though (nor can it be used as one), it's just an explanation, which is pretty accurate. He can't fully understand mortality (only imitate it) nor the impact of his abuse which is connected to the values mortals have. He's still evil by our standards and just because he's a cosmic being, it doesn't mean that the heroine is inclined to ever accept him, since he doesn't adhere to her values. Lack of understanding isn't innocence, it's just who he is, which is someone unfitting and detestable (rightfully) to mc.
He went through all types of relationships routes to mirror what would be "normal" for mc and gain her acceptance (although he failed) but to also see all sides of her, all of her reactions.
The author is amazing because she embodied the cosmic brilliance of a very complex entity and didn't just give him the personality, behaviour and moral understanding a mortal would have (if she did, it would be the generic regret for his actions and/or eventual acceptance that he can never have her.In general he'd be a toxic but still redeemable generic character). To him morality is a concept, not something he will ever be capable of fully comprehending since he's immortal and can literally change existence itself with a snap of his fingers. He has never experienced loss, death and absence of control. He's inhumane.
*isn't necessarily not 'is' (i really hate when i make mistakes like this one because they completely change the meaning of my text)
But yeah, otherwise interesting analogy. Sorry for rambling, i'm a sucker for anything Lovecraftian and for existential psychology (if it wasn't obvious lmao)
He’s still a jerk for tormenting MC like that. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I can tell brother, and honestly do not stop.
And no one claimed otherwise
Well i thought that was obvious?
Glad someone appreciates it lol
Someone said we have to understand ML coz he’s some bored af otherworldly or whatever. (〜￣△￣)〜
Well yes. He is a greater eldritch concept so far removed from humanity that things like death, empathy and pain become irrelevant for him. From a human perspective he is nothing but evil, that is objectively the case.
It's just interesting to analyse and consider who/what he is and where his actions come from. That's what our convo boils down to anyway. Idk if you meant this comment thread here or what.
Well no* I misread your comment.
As in we don't have to understand him, aka find excuses for his actions, that's not the point.
Not "understand," more like accept that the guy/thing just is what it is, cause it's a waste of energy otherwise... I won't waste time hating an ML for being a "jerk" if it turns out he's an onmipresent entity that can't be destroyed or escaped from (unlike the clown from IT), who can revive anyone it kills, and who can actually exist without feeling the 'urge' of killing humans 24/7 (unlike Iza from Hama's Red Fox and, again, the It clown)... Nia said it: the FL's everyone's only hope.
I actually read it as it is.. But after these terrifying chapters about him playing with MC’s mind… I give up. I’ll probably come back when things get better.
This is well articulated, bcoz if I, A HUMAN, were forced to think about the existence of the universe and how ANYTHING even started to exist, I would spiral and eventually be depressed af.
The human mind can only conceptualize certain principles. Heck, blackholes are already scary enough even when the closest we have is like a thousand light-years away.
The story is no doubt messed up, but it has a very interesting premise. If it had less rape/sex scenes, the plot could be excellent psychological, cosmic in a way, horror. In the past i remember reading about astral projection and about how some people came across entities they could talk to and in general interact with. Of course these entities may have been nothing but a projection of the mind, however they still "felt" utterly real to the people having the 'out of the body' experience.
So mc, as a child was astral projecting and met an entity which took advantage of his willingness to manifest him in the real world. Of course we know nothing about the alternate, cosmic reality the entity lived at and in general what it is called. It immediately became the human Doha once it crossed to our reality.
What a shame the plot wasn't explored more and it just became the usual yaoi rape scenario. The sex scenes didn't even give more readers a good feeling due to the suffocating fear mc was feeling. If the rape was used as a small plot point to insinuate the horror mc goes through, it would be fine. However it just became a 'porn what plot' bullshit with the usual imbecilic story formula.
A waste of time.