pluviophiliac's manga / #depressing af(603)

i’m sure i’ll love this one, lol. edit: well… it’s quite different from my expectations, lol. i wasn’t sure whether is was a good ‘difference’ or not, but now i’m sure that it is. i do appreciate the unpredictability!

supposedly available on tapas!

c’: FML. just looked at the photos real quick and almost fucking came in my brand new pajama pants... god help me. (i’m probably beyond salvation, not gonna lie.) edit: i can’t stress ENOUGH…!!! just how much i love the fact that he actually picked up the snake and brought it home with him, lololol. what an icon. i would’ve been out of there so fast if it were me, heh. anyway, i didn’t even pay attention to the fact that there are on my 18 released chapters… which sucks. i’m one of the impatient ones. i just clicked on ‘read’ after seeing those screenshots, really couldn’t help myself. i’ll be looking forward to the future. <3

bro, the smut is RIDICULOUSLY hot!!! overall, jooin’s remained ‘consistently cute’. well, mostly. annoying and somewhat clingy (?), but cute nonetheless. weirdly enough, i quite liked yahwi from the start, though—despite him being an inconsiderate jerk, aloof and overall toxic af for the longest time. (i’m weak to emotionally unavailable men, i suppose.) on the other hand, i didn't like cain at all in the beginning. i found him low-key creepy-clingy rather than sweetly clingy, and waaaay too excessive when it comes to displaying his sudden affection… well, way back in the day, that is. as it so happens, i’ve changed my mind since then! i actually quite like the guy these days. he’s understanding and kind and super considerate towards jooin—which i suppose are among some of the more important aspects of any relationship. i just don’t like unnecessary drama, ugh… but what can one really expect for a story like this? lol. but, you know… i started reading this manhwa two years ago, and honestly, i definitely wasn’t one for love triangles back then. however, i’d like to think that i’ve grown a little since 2021, and i finally picked this up after 1,5 years of indulging in… other things. i’m definitely relieved that i held off for so long, though! i suspect i probably wouldn’t have continued reading this back then if i’d chosen to keep going; especially knowing how dead-set i was on yahwi and jooin being together. …but anyway. as i’m nearing chapter 70 and yahwi’s FINALLY started to (somewhat) figure himself out emotionally, jooin is the one who pisses me off the most at this point in time. what a hypocrite, my god… yahwi can’t communicate, he says? i get that, but HE’S refusing to see things from yahwi’s perspective, too! he’s not even attempting to!!! yahwi probably suffers from alexithymia (emotional blindness) without realizing it. as someone who has it herself, his tells are pretty obvious. therefore, i’d like to think that his poor ways of expressing himself emotionally—as well as understanding his own feelings and thought-processes—wouldn't exactly be his fault. with that being said: how can jooin expect yahwi to read his mind flawlessly when he can’t seem to understand him, either…? jooin’s already aware of the fact that he's not on the same page as yahwi, man… at least yahwi’s been sincerely trying his best for a good while now. meanwhile, jooin has these IMPOSSIBLE expectations for someone who obviously doesn’t realize what the real problem is… and he won’t understand it unless he’s directly informed about what said issues are!!! he can’t read anyone’s mind. something that frustrates me a lot is this: how come jooin can be so straightforward with cain—who, by the way, doesn’t even seem to need it considering he can clearly read jooin well enough by now either way—but you can’t be straightforward with yahwi; the one who actually NEEDS all the clarity and bluntness the can get? it’s so goddamn ironic i could cry. and even as jooin’s breaking up with yahwi, the latter STILL doesn’t know what the actual problems are. not only that, but jooin’s also insulting him to his face and purposely hurting him in the process. fuck me, yahwi’s completely fucking clueless, man!!! i get that you’re truly hurt, jooin, but you’re not exactly doing your best to salvage the situation you’re in. you’re not even trying—you’re simply judging him; making clueless assumptions about his feelings and emotional state, which you’re obviously unqualified to make. honestly, you deserved that fucking slap, homeboy… (i’m anti-violence, but he had that one coming.) you actively try to provoke him, expect him to get angry with you, and then you get upset because he did exactly what you wAnTeD him to do??? give me a fucking break and stop playing the victim here. you’re not the only one suffering. it takes two to fucking tango. yahwi did wrong by hitting you, undoubtedly, but you’re not any better yourself. don’t get me wrong, though—i’m not saying that yahwi’s always been the one in the right (he hasn’t), or that turning to violence is ever a proactive solution (it’s not.) however, it’s obvious that our two main characters both have major issues and very little self-insight. the way i see it, yahwi’s done a lot of hurtful things, but he wasn’t really ‘intending’ to, was he? well, most of the time, at least. what he needs is proper guidance and straightforwardness in order to ever build himself a solid foundation. he needs time and patience if he’s ever going to learn how to form proper relationships. (yahwi thinks he’s already good at that, by the way. WHICH. HE. ISN’T. that’s the problem.) honestly, at this point, i hope yahwi finds someone else who’s at least (somewhat) understanding about his emotional blindness, blissful ignorance and commitment issues. it’s not his fault that he can’t read minds and do things exactly the exact way you expect him to. and i know i’ve stated this a hundred times already, but the poor guy seriously doesn’t even realize the predicament he’s in, man… i genuinely feel for him, and i get it. 100%. either way, from my perspective (and based on the fact that i’m now fully caught up), jooin’s the more selfish, entitled, immature one out of those two at this point in time. it’s almost as if he’s slowly and intentionally) beginning to turn into a vindictive asshole towards go yahwi. (then we’ll have two, yay!) however much i happen to understand jooin’s frustrations, i relate much more to yahwi’s. i despise it whenever people blame everything on one party and avoids all responsibility—which, in this case, would make kitty sunbae the sole villain with no possible redemption arc. it’s what ticks me off the most, really. simply put, they just shouldn’t be together. i suppose they both deserve better, honestly. …aaaand that was a long ass rant, by the way, but who fucking cares at this point? lol. yahwi deserves his own happiness, too—which i truly hope he’ll find sometime, and i’m pretty sure jooin would be able to stay happy with cain… if they do choose to get together in the end, that is. at this point, i truly have no clue what to expect. it could go either way… jooin and cain seem to have a lot less communication issues as of right now. but hey, like i’ve said a billion times already: i sincerity hope that kitty sunbae finds someone who’ll come to love and appreciate him for who he is; someone who’ll embrace him, all of him, despite his flaws—including his ‘social difficulties’, so to speak. those are all things he can work on and improve with time! (speaking from experience on this one.) yahwi should be in therapy already, ugh. but hey, all in all, it’s been a pretty damn great story thus far! i guess that’s why i’m getting so easily worked up, lol. it’s relatable as hell. i wish these guys the best… i just want them all to be happy, the whole lot. that’d be good enough for me. i suppose we’ll see! edit: man, things are fluctuating like craaazy right now. (ↁ_ↁ) yahwi’s finally realized some things about himself and he’s making honest attempts to explain his point of view to a clueless jooin. jooin’s struggling with these new developments; not knowing how to deal with yahwi’s sudden change in behavior and cain’s inability to be completely upfront with him. cain left temporarily to take care of a ‘family matter’, only to end up being stuck with said family who’s now properly convinced he’s crazy for saying he wants to go back to SK and be with his ‘owner’ from a past life. (understandably so.) man, i have no idea how this’ll end… send help. edit #2: we went from sexy mess to full-on emotional distress throughout this journey... i’m absolute IN LOVE with this plot development, omfg. it feels like we’re nearing the ending now, but i genuinely hope we’ll get some more yahwi + jooin lovey-dovet content before the story’s wholly wrapped up. these past couple of chapters have been resonating with me like CRAAAAZY. i can’t wait for next week to arrive! edit #3: every recent chapter has been a literal knockout. i have a feeling we’re on the last pages now, but wow… the artists are really doing this story justice. these past ten-ish chapters have been so meaningful and beautifully narrated that it almost feels like a different story altogether. don’t get me wrong, it’s always been an amazing reading experience, but never to THIS degree. it’s being wrapped up so nicely, and it’s been quite a long time since i genuinely felt a sense of closure when nearing the end of a fictional journey… and we’re not even at the end yet!!! man, i’m so happy right now. i applaud all of those involved in creating this masterpiece of a manhwa. whenever and however the final chapter is eventually released, i can tell for sure that there’ll be no plot holes or unanswered questions left. perfect closure. i’m so, so unbelievably impressed by the author’s ability to incorporate emotions into visual writing—thus allowing us readers to experience such an array of joys and sorrows in a way that isn’t that commonly experienced within this genre of manhwa. outstanding work, truly!

i just need something to quench my thirst. or something that’ll make me even thirstier, i’m not too sure yet. anyway, i like the art and i’m ready for whatever!!! edit: love the art. they look HOT. it’s toxic as fuck, though. i have no idea what to expect from this, lol. i hope the sex will be good, if nothing else… and i’m also somewhat satisfied with the translations now. some of those earlier chapters were literal trash. oh well, lol. i’m still giving it a five star rating as of right now (i’m on chapter 11), so you never know!!! things could do a complete 180 turn. edit #2: … i thought this was supposed to be a yaoi…? THEN WHERE ARE THE GRAPHICS?!? ;–; i’m lowering it to four stars because i can’t seem to make sense of things. i do love the art still, and i’m certainly hoping for some visual and graphic smut in the future… but, most of all, i hope there’ll be some serious character development at some point—on BOTH ends of the stick. sighhh. it’s funny how i begun reading this manhwa because i was horny and i looking for something with hot, rough sex to give me some sort of release… but instead, i ended up with dried up underwear and a libido which most def killed itself out of exasperation. FML. edit #3: … well, that’s a first. the first sexually explicit scene we get to view is a fucking RAPE, y’all. and with this sadistic, fucking psycho antagonist whom no one likes, at that… ughhhh. can’t we just get some super hot, rough sexy sex between our two main protagonists? is that too much to ask for??? ;_; edit #4: well, fuck. that even hurt me. i won’t spoil any more shit, but omfg. edit #5: the whiplash is INSANE with this one… welp. i never thought i’d say this, but i’m actually quite excited for future updates. i definitely need therapy, lol. should i feel bad for getting horny from that sex scene we got in the end? well, i already knew my moral compass was broken, but this takes the cake, lmfao. could be a lot worse, i guess. now season one is over and i’m having an existential crisis. send help. edit #6: it’s back with a second season and things are starting out pretty good! i reread the whole thing beforehand just to freshen my memory, and i’m kinda split about the whole ordeal now. that last rape scene was way worse than i remembered. i feel horrible for ever getting ‘excited’ for reading some disgusting shit like this. i must’ve been out of my mind. anyway, i AM looking forward to this new season, though! i have no idea what to expect. i guess only time will tell, aye? i hope there’ll be less rape and more… ‘respect’ this time around. a girl can dream! edit #7: … i guess i was hoping for too much. FUCK. just when i thought that things couldn’t POSSIBLY get any worse, literally E-VE-RY-THING goes to shit. seriously, i’ve never read anything this dark and depressing before. it’s giving me maaad anxiety, too. my god, this poor guy… i guess a happy ending would be completely out of the picture at this point, right? seems pretty unrealistic and unreasonable as of right now. i can’t fucking cope, man… this is just… unbelievably tragic. sick, even!! i can’t even COMPREHEND the amount of suffering he’s been forced to go through for so long. and even now, too! it’s literally the worst thing i’ve ever seen in any book, comic, movie or tv-show. i’m not even kidding, nor am i exaggerating. this is some ridiculously heavy stuff, man… FUUUUCK!!!

ahhh, my favorite kind of story. <33 i’m really loving it! i pretty much get hyped up every other minute at this point, lol. (overpowered characters are my shit.) i basically LIVE for this badass energy, seriously. i’m ecstatic for the future of this genre—this manhwa included!!! edit: ugh, i DETEST this new art-style. i was so goddamn excited to finally see another update, too. ;_;