WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GO FOR IT!!!!!!
MAN THEY DELETED THE OTHER PART OF ME SAYING THAT HE COMES OFF AS DESPERATE. Like he's acting rlly pushy even tho I told him we should build a foundation first
Part 2: he texted me through tiktok dms but he's a bit too pushy when I told him to take it slow he got anxious and asked me how he could please me even tho I told him we'd stop talking for the day(I ghosted that message btw). He's kinda desperate but he's hella good looking and has a nice physique. How would u guys handle this situation. If he gets too pushy I'd consider to not take him as a pet and block him. I did tell him we should build a foundation first. Idk man sometimes I feel like his old mistress threw away the leash and he's desperate to find an owner
Build a foundation, tell him you’ll do it but not if he does too much. Idk how these relationships work irl but he just wants to be punished it seems like, so do it. (Doesn’t have to be sexual)
Hey jellyfish, he sounds a lot like he’s in sub frenzy you NEED to pump the breaks on it as that can be VERY dangerous for both of yall. Excitement is normal but you have to pump breaks on THAT forward of energy. If you are wanting a relationship with him then that foundation is standard you’re not a kink dispenser. If it’s strictly play you still need boundaries and limits/ safe words. I’m saying this as a sub myself. Vetting is a real thing as you need to know if your Dom style matches his sub style. Because if they don’t match up conflict will occur that ends up pushing one or both of you too far out of comfort zones. It as an example could be a heavy masochist sub begging a soft Dom to do CBT and a new soft Dom goes against their limits and it messes with them with things like for example extreme guilt feelings of disgust to themselves, really bad Dom drops etc.
Agreed with everything above. U should should set serious boundaries and make it clear that if he doesnt uphold them there will be no contact no more (but girl fr u living the dream if he wasn't such a brat)
Yeah we agreed to get to know each other and since we are long distance he told me that he doesn't expect much to happen, but what he told me yesterday threw me off and overwhelmed me.
'I can't stop thinking about you. I feel empty and lost without you. I belong to you completely, and I need to prove it. I want you to feel it too how much I am yours, how I exist only for you.
Please let me show you'
And today he deleted his instagram account & his burner tiktok where he initially texted me. I asked him like an hour ago on his main tiktok account why he deleted his insta but he's not responding so far.
I'm just rlly concerned cuz why'd he also call me mommy before we even started getting to know eachother (told him not to call me that btw). I asked him some questions and listed some of my requirements that I look for in a person but he didn't share me his requirements.
Like if he acts this way with everyone he will surely get himself in a place he doesn't want to be in - might even get manipulated
Thank you babushka
Thank you so much kittyslyfox!
I looked up what you meant by sub frenzy and he sure seems to be in that state.
1. He called me mommy on the first day when I insisted on getting to know each other
2. After I asked him for his preferences , he wasn't curious about mine
3. Even tho he told me he wasn't expecting our relationship to work out in a sexual manner bcz of our long distance. He still tried to eagerly prove to me that I should pick him and choose him just bc I didn't decide to follow him back immediately
4. He texted me this last night on insta >>I can't stop thinking about you. I feel empty and lost without you. I belong to you completely, and I need to prove it. I want you to feel it too how much I am yours, how I exist only for you.
Please let me show you<<
I felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to say, it felt theatrical and fake so I ignored it. (cz like he doesn't know me why's he projecting so much) Today he deleted his insta and his private tiktok account (heck maybe he even blocked me); I wanted to solve this and asked him about an hour ago why he deleted his insta - he didn't respond yet, but he's probably in school rn so I'm not upset about that.
5. I asked him questions about his morals, height, if he works out, what he's studying etc.- but he didn't care to ask questions about my personhood...
And again thank you so much for telling me that he could be in a sub-frenzy, I thought I was going crazy from worrying. Just like you said that it could turn problematic rlly fast, I was imagining what could happen if he talked this way to a manipulative dom. Have a nice day :))!! <3
Oh damn but yeah Ig there is nothing u can do except waiting for his response
Jellyfish how big is the age difference that he is in school and calls u mommy??
Like 1,5 years dw he's 19
I did feel like he was lying about his age so I wanted to see his ID but he didn't feel comfortable to share it
Oh ok good to know
Totally forgot to say this but keep us updated!!
@jellyfish yeah, don’t proceed hun that is red flag behavior from a sub and not acceptable. Things will get ugly fast. There are manipulation tactics thrown into that whole conversation that are hyped by sub frenzy. Nobody attaches that fast unless it’s desperation and frenzy. Your also right he can very well get himself hurt by approaching the wrong person however, you are NOT responsible for that and I have a feeling as I’ve been approached by the same types of folks in and out of lifestyle it can get dangerous for you FAST. Much less not answering any of the questions you’re asking isn’t good behavior. If you need to talk more you can find me under the same username as I have here on most social media and I’m happy to help answer any questions you might have. Hope your day goes well.
How do yall find these men because what???? Idek how to get into the lifestyle even though I really want to
to be honest I don't know how either, I commented that I like seeing pretty men cry on a tiktok and he just messaged asking if I'm into submissive men.
It was the first time really.
By the way I've blocked him saying that I don't think it's gonna work
thank you so much <3
you've helped me so much. I told him that I don't think it's gonna work out and blocked him.
I considered sending him a thread of what a sub-frenzy is bc I thought he'd actually need it, but after what you've said. That he was manipulative and that it's not my job to teach him what boundaries are - I've decided not to. You saved me from a bunch of headaches, when I didn't even need to get involved .
I will be texting you soon xx
have a nice weekend
You’re welcome to pm me on instagram as well if you have any questions. It depends but either way don’t get into the lifestyle until you’re 18 at the minimum. There generally are a few ways one is Fet but that’s gone downhill a lot from when it was first out. I went late that app but let friends there so not all is lost. There are also munches you can go to these are just social events not like a bdsm party as the munches would be in places of a casual setting. You can also meet folks via regular dating apps but that can be difficult as well and you have to be cautious for multiple reasons. I highly recommend either way prior to getting into the lifestyle you do some research on things and if you want to get the ball rolling on some kinks you might have/ others you aren’t aware of there’s the old bdsm test you can take which I find fun to do. It’s just a good way to help expand areas if you are new to the lifestyle in areas to research. I highly recommend avoiding looking at google bdsm photos at first as there are extremes that can be a shock to the system if not prepared for it
guys a sub man who looks similar to richard and is like 188cm tall, wants me to be his dom