i know its like implied that he loves her but i'm reallyyyy still questioning whether he truly loves her and its not just his perversions. i mean, how can u sniff out who's a natural at that or not? what if by chance she's just really mad at her fam and she doesnt actually f w s&m? just want the best for girly huhu. i know its still early on but i do wonder what direction the plot will head in. main obstacle is probably her family. cant blame girly for being violent sometimes bc if i had a fam like hers, i'd be blowing up my shit everyday.
xinlu's reappearance reminds me of a spoiler i read where they basically stated that ilay said to xinlu that if tay ends up dead, there'd be no body bc he'll eat him and then they can be together that way. i have not been the same since i read that and it loves rent-free in my mind. its just so disturbing.
i love how there wasnt a great deal of deborah's actions towards saintess wannabe being misinterpreted. i was really worried in the beginning just bc i'm tired of that trope. i love how as a reader, i just get to see her live her new life.
wait so how did seme know the contents of what uke wrote?
fuck, if this is really a regressed type of shit, i feel so sorry for sejin. the way he experienced all of those in his first life...
i commented something here when i was still on chapter 6 but now i finished all of the current chapters (chp 38) and all throughout, i was so scared im going to hate kwon ido less, but i'm glad thats not the case. when sejin remembers everything, i hope he gives kwon ido a jumpscare or something. i need to see desperation on that man's face. i hate how cool he seems and everything despite what he did on their first timeline. that man needs to beg BEG.
i'm still on chapter 6/haven't read all the chapters yet but i've read spoilers bc i'm really reallyyyy curious, and i hope MC hates the ML and the brother after he finds out. i just... i keep stopping bc the assault portrayed on this manhwa, for once, is not romanticized, so yknow, its not as digest-able as other manhwas and mangas (been a reader of BL since 2012 and SA is a staple in the genre, esp early mangas).
i dont fcking care if ML is redeeming himself in this timeline, there's no excuse for . i actually would prefer if they part ways in the end but i know that wont happen so i want at the very least, MC hating ML, that arc being very satisfying.
theres this thing w regressed shoujo manhwas where should the ML be forgiven for treating MC bad in the first timeline bc time turned back and essentially, what ML did in the first life didnt actually happen. but in this case, the events are on MC's memories, so that means ML's actions DID happen and made its mark to MC, so idk, ML should be getting Abandoned Empress ML treatment.
that first love is so infuriating. saying that duke adler didnt come knowing it would hurt her???? and u were just apologizing mere seconds ago. nah get the fuck out
liked it but no explanations for mc's teleportation power? also i dont think i skipped a chapter, but what happened to that guy that was hitting on mc bc he was going to inherit everything? i dont think the guy that kidnapped ml was also shown, and that whole thing of making him fall was wrapped up too quickly when he was kinda built up to be this big boss the main characters have to face (and everything after that are just mini conflicts). i feel like author forgot what they envisioned the story to be at first. backstory focused mainly on ml and then they just forgot mc.
i just have this feeling that its not actually love, just a stockholm syndrome typa thing, and i say that because seme wore down uke, uke even says that when he was waiting for a month about the guide switch.
i dont understand why kaede cant comprehend azusa's insecurity. like bro, cmon, its fated mates we're talking about, thats a really big deal. and i dont like any of the characters, but i agree w azusa that kaede shouldve been more firm w rejecting hikaru, especially since that homewrecker wannabe keeps on being persistent (even at their first meet). also, am i the only one who thinks kaede and azusa's relationship would be nothing if azusa gives up on it? azusa seems to be the only one making the effort, while kaede just seems like he's dragged along. i kinda wanna see a chapter where azusa meets his fated mate and is wavering, and then kaede's the insecure one this time and finally steps up.
i cant believe how much i love this story. and i adore jaeho and jiyoon . bc the side stories are not yet uploaded, that news report is satisfying AF. i hope hell comes down for that trash and cheating ex, and the guiding chief. i was glad when jiyoon beat up that ex (another satisying moment).
i hope the guiding chief gets fired AND punished; how thats going to happen, idk. whatever his consequences may be, i hope the author portrays it IN DETAIL. not like just one sentence in passing.
esper chief needs to get promoted fr . like, imagine being in a management position where relationship dynamics between two people (espers and guides) is such a huge factor and just forcing things anyway. even in (real) normal world, good managers and leaders take into account relationship dynamics between their team members. it comes with the job. as much as u want to sanitize things into purely work, u cant. people are not robots. guidance chief must just be good at office politics to get to his position without realizing that truth.
i still dont understand the whole thing w the experiment tho. like, how does kim kamin? kaemin? anyway, that cheater ex... how does the experiment factor in him "abandoning" jaeho? also, how did it get continued like that when theres so much money being poured in it (as they said) but the results are always considered as fail?
oh! and i didnt understand the whole thing w the cheater ex still asking jaeho to imprint w him despite the failed experiment? so i couldnt really sympathize w jaeho's anger. i thought it was sus in the first place. he portrayed such confidence in his experiment outside, yet he was still asking to imprint???? when apparently it shouldnt matter anymore according to him bc the experiment was gonna be a success????
AND WHO'S PROVIDING UPDATES TO JIYOON ABT JAEHO'S MOVES. even knew the contents of what he met w the guiding chief and everything.
i need the side stories those are not side stories thise remaining chapters are still needed to close several plot points raised in the story
y'all, why is mc playing the game again? was it ever explained?
i'm... uneasy about hyesung, in the context of this happy family at least. look, there's no doubt that he was raped, and even though its questionable that the author wrote their love story in the way the events followed, i (at the same time) appreciate my uneasiness about hyesung. over a hundred chapters and i'm still not convinced hyesung loves dojin, which is throwing me in a loop because thats usually not how these type of stories go lol. this manhwa seems to be treading a fine line between trying to be realistic or setting the story in the normal bl environment where rape is forgettable and forgiveable... like, it can't decide where it wants to be and wants the best of both worlds so the whole time i was reading, i didn't know what lens to read it in, if that makes sense.
but like i said, i appreciate my uneasiness about hyesung not really being in love w dojin. in some way, to me, it feels like a consequence of the earlier events of their story, especially of the rape. some type of punishment to dojin that he will never truly have his heart (if we're going by the realistic route, i feel like dojin could feel that but is just ignoring it; he has hyesung by his side anyway, and they have a kid too).
to explain why i was uneasy, let's not forget that hyesung was looking for a RICH omega, which means he was prepared to live a life without love if it means he gets to be comfortable. it's just that he nabbed a rich alpha, and the bonding aside, being around dojin gives him the family (both extended and nuclear) he has ever wanted. so what more could he ask for?
or maybe hyesung is really in love and i just dont understand his character. i just really reaaally doubt it because the lack of interest from him that dojin could feel just seems impossible if hyesung was truly in love, not even to the degree of love dojin has for him. notice how hyesung only gets worked up when it threatens him or puts him in an uncomfy situation, like the last arc of horniness, and the affair rumor arc.
so, thats just it for me. might have to cleanse myself w fluffy, wholesome yaoi after this. as much as i enjoyed the art (and the author has such smooth storytelling abilities), finishing it just leaves a bitter aftertaste and this feeling of uncertainty continues (bc of hyesung), which again is diff bc usually in the end, the author got me convinced uke is in love w seme.
SPOILER ON 2ND PARAGRAPH
a part of me *does* hope her mother sees sense and they reconcile, but a (larger) part of me hopes that her mother continues to get her pride the best of herself and tatiana becomes her karma (i feel like thats the direction the story is going for especially w making her mother greet her husband when the mother humiliated him years ago) in where tatiana becomes the instrument in which the mother has to apologize or bow her head down to the people she hurt. i mean, she used her daughters as tools to get herself power and wealth; im sure there are many more underhanded means she did just so she could get there.
and idc if the mother was secretly trying to treat her daughter's illness. why would u not disclose that to her, as well as tell her that that's one of the reasons why you were adamant on having her marry the duke? what was she thinking then when they cut each other off, was she just going to let her die? this js why the illness insertion seems like a last minute thing so that readers can soften up on mother, but at the same time it doesnt seem like it bc anne has said colds affect tiara more. like there were hints! but anywho, i hope the mother gets what she deserves, both good and bad.
whatever anyone says, for me, the fault lies more on that glasses man than that short-haired girl. yall can say shes a hoe, but i feel like thats been clear from the start lol. that man however, is in a 10-year relationship, and yall can see he was genuinely falling for the temptation. i know him and his fiancee talked abt doing things for the money, but that hiding the note move would've sealed it for me bc why would you??? hopefully, she realizes that her fiance is the kind of man who could cheat on her in a heartbeat (even after they marry) as long as the temptation presents itself again.
i blame both short-haired girl and glasses man, but as there's no such thing as truly equal or fair in this world, i blame glasses man more (and frankly, side eye to those who blame the girly more; that man is an adult and again, in a 10-year relationship. he shouldnt be that easily swayed)
cover lured me in bc it looks nice but the art is jumpscare still proceeded to read bc story might be good but it's... ugh.
i just finished up to chp 49 so ok, seeing that the story is not over yet, and seeing as the soul switch thingy has been revealed early on, i assume we gonna get back to the mistreatment of camilla and the other soul (i forgot the name). like REALLY get back. bc im sorry, the excuse that the reason why camilla's fam was so hostile to her is bc their souls didnt fit their body doesnt do it for me, esp when u compare them w that red haired boy? he got his own issues too but even he managed to treat her decent, the only thing the soul switch thingy came into be was when she was fighting w that blue haired lady, but even then he went back, bc he came to the realization that leaving them be was NOT THE RIGHT THING to do. i feel like he's the 2nd ml but not 100% sure, which is something I LOVE bc for me, love triangles and 2nd mls only work well when u dont know for sure who's the main and the 2nd ml. so yeah, him treating her well despite the soul switch thingy could be a case the author can present to the readers that he could be the main ml bc he got character, more or less, i guess one thing that came out of his obsession of trying to be seen as kind and good.
and i know the mistreatment of the other soul was due to consequences of her actions too, but one thing that was stuck on my mind was her digging the rosebed out of the blue, but actually it was bc she was looking for her mother's ring. the duke was like, "why didnt u tell me ಥ_ಥ" but i was like, "well bitch, have u thought of the contexts around her that made her unable to tell you? *insert gun emoji*" obv we dont see much of his pov bc hes not the main character, but i as a reader was appalled he left it at that and didnt start questioning himself lmao. not to mention, im sure the other servants knew or could at least notice what was going on, but none of them told him??? and then apparently they have an information network???? so yeah this just tells me he's incompetent in managing his household to a certain degree, or that he just really couldnt care and would rather pour majority of his attention to other things. the soul switch thingy cannot be the only means the author thought of of making him red to green, bc i think he's orange at best rn.
lets also not forget ravi... not paying attention and setting ludville's party to the same day ravi's presenting his thesis!!! tf is that. also does a coincidence truly exist? bc im almost inclined to think the duke did it on purpose. really, out of all the days, he managed to choose THAT one day?
all the sibling deaths also is making me think of ravi. like great for camilla, but are we not gonna see an improvement in connection between ravi, ludville, and the duke? i think he's also ignored still by the head of that red colored house; the only reason why shes noticed by him is bc of their house animal wanting to go to her. i hope this doesnt become one of those manhwas where everything the main girl wants is achieved but the other character who's also supposed to grow with her and have the same wants as her starts leaving the spotlight bc we dont have use for them anymore. like, they were there at the start, they should also be there at the end. idk, storys not over yet anyway.
oh noesss... in the earlier chapters, sherina talked about something like heidelgger (did i spell it right) taking rutger in the battlefield and they both won and she was promised to be the kaiser. dont tell me its going to happen again like rutger come on. i know your a child rn and that u have no knowledge of your past life but just, come on...
finally we get to see the jeongwon's pov in the next chapters.
also, f that sister, i feel like she'll be the root cause of the drama, and f their parents (even though we haven't seen much of them) for allowing that kind of sibling dynamic.
another thing is women in this yaoi are hella pushy, like theres the sister, but also the piano major who planned the beach trip. i was lowkey annoyed ngl bc i dont think the boys actually agreed to go and even if they said yes, u can see some hesitance??? that beach trip was also kindaaa disappointing bc i was expecting some drama from piano major's friend; i thought she was being set up to seduce jeongwon lol.
imma drop this for a while and then come back after this is completed bc we've already passed the first conflict -- them getting together which means what comes next may be serious drama (i hope that sister gets humbled moooree; slap her if they must).