모태솔로's Topics (412)

No, I think the translation is just ass

But the other green haired sibling call her sister? I shoul check the raw then ngajsnksjsksl

She's busy trying not to die wtf you mean she ain't doing anything

I mean… she’s not a magican or a knight or schollar. She doesn’t have one person on her side. She is looked in her room all the time. That considered I think she does enough. Like most mc has at least one knight or something, but she literally had nobody

Oh this is going to be long, I'm sorry, this is because I don't know how t explain it shorter, so i ended up writting a whole essay:

I didn't mean she 100% didn't do anything, it FEELS like she BARELY do anything. She did do something, but I can't feel the weight, I don't know, but that's how I see it in the manhwa. I might forget something too bcs it's been so long since the last time I read the novel.

But even no matter how much I tried to recall the novel, the only thing i remember to have such a heavy weight was during that scene I mentioned earlier.

How should I explain this .... like, she is so hopeless and focused too much on her own death that even her character feels like it didn't do much? Like she abandoned things she could have been able to do?

I don't know, even I'm aware that writing this seems like I "look down" on Penelope, I acknowledge that I can't even put a good wording on this. And since I'm not her, I never experienced even a slightlest bit of what she have been going through, I know saying this might be wrong, but I feel like she could do something else in that world.

Well, I put on consideration on what Yui said, about she doesn't have anyone to rely on, but she didn't even locked all the time? It's not like the confinement last forever, she even have Emily—though it take her a long time to trust her.

So everytime I look at her, beside being frustated by the whole family especially Derick, I'm also going crazy on how Penelope behaved. Like it's frustating that she have so many trauma that it makes her like that. I wish she could cheer up and try to do something else instead of preparing for her death and secure "love interest", something that she can do to make herself happy.

Although I'm aware that she have been lived that kind of life, even in her previous life, so it's imposible. But that's what it makes me even more frustrated because what she does, why she behaving like this, all of it are actually justified ╥﹏╥

Quite contrary, I do feel the weight of her actions. Penny isn't written like common characters. Her trauma and her situation put her at a peculiar spot that differentiate her from other MCs that I have read. She's selfish, she's manipulative and she doesn't trust so easily and that's fascinating. I never expect her to "cheer up" and try to do something else to make herself happy because her brain isn't wired towards that. I personally love how the author aligns Penny to the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (it's a psychology theory and it's sooo funn to observe a character from this angle )

TLDR in a way that definitely NOT give the theory justice, a human's mind need to fulfil the needs in each stage of the pyramid in order to move on to the next. The first stage is physiological needs (food, water, shelter, sleep, etc). At the beginning, Penny barely have any of these but she managed to scrap by, although I would argue that she still lacks some basic needs in some aspects, but at this point of the chapter, I think she has enough to move on to the next stage, which is safety and secure (health, employment, property, social ability and and family). Penny is currently stuck here and trying to get out. She does not feel safe. She does not feel that her family wants her. She may have enough wealth to survive on her own, but the other needs? They're unfulfilled and her trauma and the treatments to both Penny (ours and the real one) are used by the author to hinder her from achieving that sense of safety and security. Her own distrusts and pessimism steer her away from connecting, which is supposed to fulfill the social ability part of Stage 2. She doesn't trust nor connect with the Duke, Reynold, Emily, Vinter and Kalisto which I think so far has among the highest chance of fulfilling that need of social connection to establish her support system. She does not have that even when by this chapter they are ready to be her support system, her mind isn't ready and that holds equal validity and importance as it would have been to real life people who struggle with distrusts and depression. I don't think I would ever have the guts to go to those people and ask them to "cheer up" and do something to make themselves happy when their own mind did not perceive that they're safe enough to attempt that. It's despicably hilarious because the novel made this difficult right from the start. Her sense of safety is ripped away from her everytime she tried to gain control of it. Her relationship with Emily starts as a threat and although Emily is very loyal now, Penny could not trust her because their beginning does not start on an equal terms. Vinter betrayed her trust in that one incident and although he tried to make amends of it, he is in the same pool as Emily. The Duke realised far too late that money and covering up for her does not equal to trust and love that he should have shown to his daughter and that breaks the fragile trust Penny has that he could be a safe place for her. Reynold too, is the same as the Duke in that matter.

All of these work against Penny because it psychologically stops her from "cheering up" and "do something to make herself feel happy" because HOW can one do that when safety is non-existent? How does one can go out to do happy things when everything seems to be out to get them, that nowhere is safe and nobody can be trusted; what kind of happiness can be attempted in such situation? A dangerously delusional one, maybe, but Penny isn't a delulu nor is she reckless enough. This has effectively works against Kallisto too. Unlike the others in her potential support system, Kal has shown that he can be trusted and he will support her (shown, not tell, which is NOT always good) in every scenes they are together but Penny is in that state that what little ability to trust she has has been betrayed by the others she has somewhat cordial relationship with. She could not trust Kal even if she wants to because of the consistent betrayal she suffered and her only option? Those locked numbers above their heads, the stats on her window. Her situation reduced her to this person who is only able to trust logic and numbers and that's heartbreakingly realistic. Which also made Eclis' betrayal even more prominent because she trusts the numbers above his head and that too, betrayed her. When even logic and numbers failed, what can she do to feel safe enough that she could think of achieving happiness rather than her survival. This would have been a good point to have her shift in perspective, that the numbers can't always be trusted so she needs to rely on her social ability because THAT would have been a good door for her to escape stage 2. Everyone else, especially Kallisto, is on that nice spot to receive and protect her trust again, if only she realised that the logic of the game and the stats is no different that the unknown certainty of organic feelings. I'm hoping that the author would use that, but at this point, I see none of that yet. Crossing my fingers tho.

In short, Penny's story is unique because it isn't a battle against antagonist to achieve victory, but it's a battle against her own mind, trauma and herself to feel fulfilled as a human, to be able to trust without fear of betrayal, to be able be a part of a family rather than simply carrying the name. Her battle is more subtle but equally if not more arduous than other MCs and it isn't without victories. She made her moves and it paid off when she manages to scrap by from stage 1 to stage 2 and is currently fighting to move on. She is so close to stage 3 (Love and Belonging ) and although very rarely people achieve the final stage (Self-actualization) in real life, I do hope we're at least shown Penny who has escaped the shackles of her trauma and possess self-esteem and trust in people around her. If you're looking for things we often saw other MCs do, then I don't think you'll ever find it because this is not that kind of story. It's like reading a thriller but expecting a fairy tale. Other MCs, while do have traumas, are not written in a way that portray the way their trauma affects their psychological growth. I noticed other stories focus more on actions and only use the trauma as plot device to justify MC's action. Here, Penny's trauma is written in a way, that to my opinion, is near realistic considering that it affect her personality and choices according to Maslow's theory. Her journey isn't of consistent victories and remarkable feats, but the back and forth of victories and setbacks revolving around her attempt to feel safe enough to love and find happiness.

While Penny doesn't do anything big and remarkable as other MCs, her actions align with her journey to survive, to feel safe, to live and to be able to feel ALIVE because death would NOT be the ending of this villainess.