
and just read a lil bit of some interesting stuff before that....went to bed perfecty after a nice shower before 11pm...then read this...now I am through....i am happy and disappointed (cause i caught up) and at the same time I am like "ah damn it's almost 4 am"...i read this in one sitting this shit was dope...wow....
and to me, a person who is not on higher in the APD spectrum being a criminal is more disgusting, than someone with it. Why? Cause the first one has the potential to understand things easily if he thought about it and learned about it and the latter will only get to grasp the concept, but will never FEEL it....never truly understand...to them feelings are useless and a weakness actually (to the ones who have feelings)....ah anyway....
i really like how the author didn't magically cure a person with APD and is showing how it is (probably) a very bumpy and possibly dangerous relationship (if it is someone that has committed a crime already and got " a taste")....still though....their relationship is so interesting...this author was my salvation after loads of crap stories that were hyped and made me wonder what is wrong with this world this time now...

is this really ok to read?
I mean is there some stuff that is glossed over like rape and shit?
Is it scary? Like horrid stuff or stuff that might disturb the mind?
Is the Uke always weak, or are all characters cool and if they are weak do they develop and become strong?
I just dislike stories with some uke/girl that wants to do something and then in the end gets thrown around like a rag and falls in love and then gets thrown around like a rag still loving the guy that does the throwing, then goes away when he thinks there is no hope after being abused continuously or some shit and then the seme/male lead runs after him and they are happy ever after as if nothing ever happened and uke/girl is completely wound free/doubt free/trust issue free.....

There are a lot of sensitive issues here. Rape, murder, threats, abuse, violence you name it. Though these are not much between the protagonists (tho theyre involved still), but more with the people around them that are vital for the plot to progress and fuel the characters purposes. But dont let it scare you, its a great read with more depth into psychology, character, goals, and plot. 11/10 worth the read

Ps. Dont worry kirin (uke) is like one of the boss ukes in bl universe, kangmoo is totally at his mercy. And the issues i mentioned (rape violence, threat muder etc) were totally discussed and shown realistically (imo) and seriously. None of that "ok rape cool shit". more like "y'all raped sumone, hold my lgbtq+ flag im throwing fists"

great! thank you guys! i needed something like this, where my brain won't wish to self-destruct to escape the stupid totally senseless drama...just watched a k drama that seemed good at first and people praise it and it was just another series of people being excused for crimes they do through playing comedic music and editing and a guy that kept being super rude and even criminal have a 180 turn outta nowhere into being shown as some kind of desirable boyfriend like bruh...need some stuff that makes sense for once to recover now hahaha

there was one K-Drama that amazed me, where the father of the male lead I think was some famous author who held a speech at a University and they asked him about love advice and how he lived so happy and in love with his wife of many decades. And he explained something that is very clear, but that people always ignore because of their pride and the fear to hurt their own pride: That love is not a game or gamble. You should not play any games, not manipulate things and make it murky. But keep the love you felt from the beginning as beautiful as day one, by being honest to yourself and the person that inspires the love you are feeling. It is also an active word. You love as long as you love, you stop to love if you don't actively love anymore. So just love them. It can happen that the other person is not inspired by you to feel the same love, but then you can just thank them for their honesty and not giving you hope for more. Go and live in quiet with your feelings, without making them into an obsession or anything dark, just let them flow. One day you can just appreciate, that once in your life there was this person that inspired you to feel that love. It can stay as positive memories. All the bad experience people have always came when you didn't JUST love, but started to listen to your ego and played weird twisted games trying to WIN something....love is not something to win, but something that grows through some sort of inspiration by seeing snippets of the essence of a human that resonates with you....
So if i was uke, I would be pissed off as well. Sure, he was also not curagous to confess his love, because he didn't want to lose his best friend/their relationship. But the moment seme started playing games, I would may be never be a able to forget him trying to play that kind of shit came to get something out of uke....to make me feel like that...to play with me, my trust and try and get some reaction out of me through shit lies and games.....i would reject him, because I would be sad that the person i loved so honestly for myself made a game out of our relationship and decided to be a manipulative ass instead of just do nothing or be honest....i dunno....that is also how i gave up on a person i loved as well...he tried to get me jealous even though i was so obvious about my attraction, because he was dunno twisted asshole who got a rise out of trying to get some reactions out of me and was insecure and i didn't want something impure like that ....it felt wrong it just made me sad instead of happy....urgh i am getting more and more pissed at this bitch and his friend like what friend are you to play along and deceive a person when you SEE and KNOW the uke is suffering....
but Kane makes my skin crawl since the first time they mentioned "your big brother is back after years"....he makes me nauseaus as well...dunno why....but he is fucking creeping me out and he better not try some weird shit I swear I would flip my screen out of explosive anger....
same
i mean we the readers know now he is not her real brother and does not want her to think of him as a relative (i mean why would a man want that come on people?)....he thinks like this about his MINOR adoptive sister since who knows when.....and he fucking goes into her room while she is showering and shit and waits for her in her room to ATTACK HER from behind "to test something"....imagine that! We fight our dads so they don't open the door to our room without knocking, even our sisters(same gender)! and this bitch who isn't even blood related just goes into her room as he pleases? the room of another young teenage girl???????????? I say CALL THE POLICE! he is pissing me off