caprisun's Favorite

some of these comments are scaring me a little. yoshiki isn't lying when he says he knows og hikaru is gone. we've already gone through that arc and have a whole special comic about how he would've died if he didn't. he cares for 'hikaru' as 'hikaru'- why are yall in denial about that? did the subtext of hikaru representing conformity and normalcy and 'hikaru' representing being openly queer fly over yalls heads?? we're deep in shit BECAUSE he accepts 'hikaru' and yall are hoping hikaru will come back????

when i think about how this is gonna end, i think of what it means for the literal story AND for what it's supposed to mean metephorically. because what the story means metaphorically is about a gay teenager facing the struggles of being gay in a heteronormative world. the people around him tell him how he's supposed to act and be 'normal'. being mixed with 'hikaru' is yoshiki indulging in being gay and clearly supposed to be sexual intimacy. which makes him both scared but it also makes him feel good. which the author states is intentional because often it is when we are either scared or horny that we are the MOST human.

but also the literal story is that yoshiki is with his little eldrich horror monster of a bf that is 'hikaru'. he accepts 'hikaru' because yoshiki reveals in a chapter that he sees himself as a monster because he's gay and had feelings for his best friend. 'hikaru' being there causes literal harm to everyone, yet yoshiki mourning his best friend keeps him around anyways. because he would literally rather die than be apart. he keeps mixing with 'hikaru' and it's making him not normal as in he's almost becoming the spirits from the other side.

so for the ending, it would have to make sense to solve both of these narratively. and it's clear that for yoshiki, 'hikaru' represents being gay and expressing it. And I don't think this manga is gonna end with a whole 'be normal and straight' message, at least I hope so. So I'm going to rule out Yoshiki moving on and getting with a girl to solve his issues. The problem is, because 'hikaru' is metaphorically supposed to be Yoshiki experiencing being gay and having a boyfriend, BUT 'hikaru' IS actively harming the world around them literally. So he does have to be literally be dealt with. But if he goes away, then it's almost like the story is telling us that Yoshiki just shouldn't be gay. BUT this is actively NOT the message the manga is going for.

maybe i'm thinking too much, but I just want to know how this is going to end. TSHD doesn't strike me as a long series and I don't think I'm the only one thinking that it's gonna end soon. At least for me, narrative wise, it kinda seems like we're about to see the end. I just hope it's an ending that makes sense and that I like. yknow a lot of animanga get bad endings, I just hope this ending doesn't make the whole story seem useless like other endings.

I don't even know what kind of ending I want. I mean I want Yoshiki to move on and grieve his first love, his best friend. But I also find his current relationship with 'hikaru' kinda sweet, I'm a monster fucker so I'm already on board with having some monster boyfriend. BUT I also would find it just fine if Yoshiki put 'hikaru' to rest, leave for Tokyo and just find a normal boyfriend. He goes around and struggles, but eventually he finds a man he loves and think it's worth loving again. It's hard being gay and dating BUT it's absolutely possible. Before Hikaru died, it's like Yoshiki thinks he's going to be all alone his whole life because he can't have the man he's always loved. But I think, it would be a great story if Yoshiki is able to move on from his childhood love of Hikaru and then grow up to be in a normal adult relationship.

everyone keeps telling yoshiki he still thinks of "hikaru" as the og hikaru, but it's pretty obvious that's not the case anymore and i'm getting really tired of people telling him what HE'S thinking, like sybau please

I think they’re gonna jayce-victor themselves. Especially considering that one start-of-chapter scene that opens with a TV news program depicting the finding of Yoshiki and Hikaru’s bodies, I think it’s safe to assume the story’s gonna end with them moving onto another plane of existence together or something. Holding onto hope that they find a way to fake their deaths, though

Everyone suddenly hating on Not Hikaru because a kid almost died .. so it's fine that he killed some old people but not a kid? What's wrong with y'all? Lmfao. And I disagree he's just a monster. When he tore out a part of himself and gave it to Yoshiki, he started changing. I'm not saying he's turning into a human. But he kinda is. He can get hurt and possibly die. He can feel more and understand more human emotion, not from his standpoint but from those around him. Kind of like an empath? He's not feeling his own emotions he's feeling the ones of those around him. And THIS time I seriously do not believe he on purpose saw a soul and said that's a kid I'm gonna kill them and come over lol like he had an impulse that he can't control by nature to fulfill the wish that was asked and he needed something in return to fulfill it. It's just natural to him/the way he works. It's like being gay and being born with the orientation and having someone ask you if you can just change it. No, you can't. You were born like that. And I know we're probably not getting a happy ending and I can cope with that but dpmo acting like Not Hikaru is the worst villain. I think this organization that's gonna get involved is gonna be worse. People often speak about monsters and stuff in movies and media but wanna know if monsters exist? They do. And you see them on the street everyday. And you don't even know. Humans can be more monstrous that monsters. And I think this organization might not care about throwing the lives away of other humans to achieve the containment of Not Hikaru tbh theorizing Yoshiki might die at the end

this story always gets you where it hurts.. so wonderfully done. I'll never get over how being nonhuman is used as symbolism for what it feels like to be queer and how that theme is subtly present throughout the entire series

it is genuinely baffling that people can’t grip that ‘hikaru’ is an entirely different being, he has the instincts of what he originally was. he doesn’t realize the weight of ‘human’ morals and acts on his impulsivity and the behaviors he’s done before taking on a human body. he’s a fake in an entirely different world with species whose perspective on life is far different than how he’s always processed the meaning of life. remember it is a fictional manga, ‘hikaru’ and yoshiki are the experience. kindly read something else if you can not comprehend his importance to this psychological horror with queer representation. it is hard reading many people going insane about wanting a main fictional character gone while also lacking the intelligence to understand the story and what it is conveying to the readers.

It amazes me how the topics of love, selfishness and despair are dealt in this story.

Most of the characters make questionable decisions because of their love for someone yet they also put themselves and others in danger because of their selfish attitude of wanting things to stay as they are, all surrounded by this scenario of despair because of things they cant fully understand and should not exist.

Yoshiki loves Hikaru. He knew he was talking to the corpse of the one he loves, yet he couldn't bear to live a life without Hikaru, even if it meant having a monster who has taken lives, by his side.

The medium lady loved her husband to the point she was fine living with an "impurity" of him in his home, with his children interacting with him, until she realized it was...impossible.

Even the original Indou loved his wife so much he made a deal with an eldritch horror being, but this ended up wiping out a third of the village.

The whole village wanted things to stay as they always were, to live with their loved ones at peace in that land, that they made countless sacrifices, rituals and festivals to extend their lives, because they didn't know what else to do. They couldn't just move to another land, right?

it's so creative how the author makes a realistic viewpoint between "hikaru" and yoshiki relationship within its queer spaces.

it's like viewing a gay person as some kind of monster because their preferences are against to human morals. but they are still people. people who are confused and closeted to who they like and what they are. but society makes them as a threat because they're somewhat different, while others feel sympathetic about it.

and i think that yoshiki are some of those people.

the part where he hugs the dog was probably him trying to get the grasps of "hikaru's" bad actions and accepting this is just the way it is. and despite all of that, he still treats him as a human being that still lacks basic decency.

but i don't know, maybe i'm just overanalyzing too much... still though, it's unique how the plot leads up to internalized homophobia through the idea of a monster.

the reason why i like 'hikaru' even though he's an evil entity is cuz he genuinely meant good.. he doesn't nurture malice even when he has his own perspective of life and death. he's open to change. he feels GUILT when.. some humans actually don't ???

he's learning and trying to be HUMAN but sadly, his desires and instincts took over, which ironically, more often than not also happens to us humans..

i freaking sob the moment he said he likes icy pops but og hikaru likes watermelon more
╥﹏╥ that he enjoys watching movies and studying and likes pappikko and cats and i LOVE cats and i just... He reminded me to LIVE - to enjoy these trivial things in life, to know myself more and do more. He's more humble than me too lol

I can imagine myself just staring off to distance for like a month or even years to come if this ends with hikaru being all alone
╥﹏╥

Hikaru is not human, he is a completely different being that crossed the other side. Humans values and ethics do not work on him, he is an amoral being and he doesn't know about "good" or "bad". Thats why Yoshiki dreams about a dog, its the same.

The thing is, that Hikaru can communicate like a human. And that is scary. He is scarier than your typical monster because he can communicate. And he also looks like a human, so you expect him to behave like one, but he is fundamentally different and should not live with humans.

He doesn't even share the sames desires, he has his own desire: to have or consume souls. It is in his nature. Damn he doesnt even see the living as the same way and he will never do it, since for him the essence of one is their soul and the soul exists no matter if the being is alive or not.

Yet, after taking "half of his insides" out, it feels like he is becoming "more and more humanly", by trying to understand Yoshiki's pov. But he still cant understand society values, or can he? At one point he says that for him is the same if Yoshiki's soul was in a human or an elephant, just to be followed by "but if you werent human we wouldn't be able to eat ice cream together" and confuses himself...so maybe he IS getting there. But honestly, to have him try to change his nature may only result in him destroying himself...like the sunglasses guy said

godddd now yoshiki’s gonna feel obligated to stick with ’hikaru’ til the end since he promised himself he was gonna find a way for ‘hikaru’ to live a normal life in the village. at first i thought that yoshiki was slowly developing feelings for the entity after he accepted the fact that its existence was completely different to that of his hikaru, but turns out he really didn’t have a full grasp of the situation until he saw its true nature first hand. i find that it was easier for him to accept the old lady’s death not bc of the fact that she was old, but bc he was simply not there to witness ’hikaru’ kill her. UGHHH but i still have so much sympathy for ‘hikaru’ and i truly want him and yoshiki to have a happy ending, but the more i read the less likely it seems :( still holding out hope tho!