about video games
about real life problems
Hey everyone! I kinda just made an account because of the vicious debate about heterophobia on this website, and as a straight person and an ally to the LGBTQA+ community I wanted to give my two cents and hopefully arrive at a conclusion most people could accept :)
I don't think heterophobia is a real thing. When you try to define heterophobia the same way homophobia is defined the definition automatically includes oppression and active discrimination, which is something straight people will never face. The use of the term heterophobia makes light of homophobia, whether it intends to or not, and I don't think straight people should use it in a situation where they think they are simply being disliked for their sexuality.
However, I do think it is possible for people to dislike and have prejudice against straight people just for being straight. I understand that the straights most of these jokes refer to are those who do not support the LGBT+ community, but by generalizing straight people and making jokes that are meant to be or can simply be seen as mean (ex. "straggot," "breeder," "straight people should go die," "straight people should get off this site"), you're only spreading unfounded hatred to people who don't deserve it. Moreover, on a website like Mangago, where many mangas depict gay or lesbian couples, I think a majority of users are LGBT+ friendly no matter their sexualities. I am a WOC and I've been through difficult situations and seen friends of mine discriminated against because of our gender, skin color, or cultural background, but that doesn't excuse me or any other WOC from doing the same thing to all white people or all men. The same principle applies to straight and LGBT+ people. If we are trying to reduce hate and encourage education and acceptance, we cannot fight hate with hate. Like others have said, by responding to hate with hate and generalizing groups of people, whether they are the majority or the minority, we're only making the problem worse and helping the very homophobes we're making fun of find new (stupid) reasons to attack the LGBT+ community.
Most importantly, a human should be given the basic right to be respected, and by disrespecting straight people for their sexuality, you're making them feel uncomfortable and hurt. If a person considers a comment mean or offensive, just stop. I don't understand why that's so hard. I don't think (most) of the other people posting about this consider these jokes oppressive - it's just that they can be mean, and they'd like for those comments to stop. In the end, if someone says a comment makes them feel uncomfortable, they should be respected. Would you continue to make jokes in real life about people if they openly said it made them feel uncomfortable?
A bit tangential, but this entire situation reminds me of the part in Hidamari ga Kikoeru when Deaf people were making fun of Taichi when he visited their game company just because he couldn't understand sign language and could hear. Just because the Deaf community is a minority that is discriminated against doesn't make it ok for them to make fun of Taichi, much like how just because the LGBT+ community is a minority that is discriminated against down't make it ok for them to make fun of straights for being straight.
TLDR: Treat people how you want to be treated, no matter their sexuality (or race or gender, etc). If someone asks you to stop doing something because they find it mean, then stop.
Anyway, I hope I've made my position on this clear and have not offended anybody! Let me know if there's something I've overlooked or don't understand :)
P.S. I've seen many people mention that straights don't have the right to feel disrespected by such comments because the LGBT+ community goes through so much oppression and being offended makes light of that. I am not denying the problems the LGBT+ community faces. Some of my closest friends are queer, and I know first-hand how much the possibility of not being accepted by family and friends stresses them out. However, using the fact that many queer people are at risk for their lives just for being who they are as a defense for continuing to make jokes that upset straights is overkill and can be disrespectful both to those who have lost their lives because of their sexuality and the LGBT+ movement itself.
I don't think heterophobia is a real thing. When you try to define heterophobia the same way homophobia is defined the definition automatically includes oppression and active discrimination, which is something straight people will never face. The use of the term heterophobia makes light of homophobia, whether it intends to or not, and I don't think straight people should use it in a situation where they think they are simply being disliked for their sexuality.
However, I do think it is possible for people to dislike and have prejudice against straight people just for being straight. I understand that the straights most of these jokes refer to are those who do not support the LGBT+ community, but by generalizing straight people and making jokes that are meant to be or can simply be seen as mean (ex. "straggot," "breeder," "straight people should go die," "straight people should get off this site"), you're only spreading unfounded hatred to people who don't deserve it. Moreover, on a website like Mangago, where many mangas depict gay or lesbian couples, I think a majority of users are LGBT+ friendly no matter their sexualities. I am a WOC and I've been through difficult situations and seen friends of mine discriminated against because of our gender, skin color, or cultural background, but that doesn't excuse me or any other WOC from doing the same thing to all white people or all men. The same principle applies to straight and LGBT+ people. If we are trying to reduce hate and encourage education and acceptance, we cannot fight hate with hate. Like others have said, by responding to hate with hate and generalizing groups of people, whether they are the majority or the minority, we're only making the problem worse and helping the very homophobes we're making fun of find new (stupid) reasons to attack the LGBT+ community.
Most importantly, a human should be given the basic right to be respected, and by disrespecting straight people for their sexuality, you're making them feel uncomfortable and hurt. If a person considers a comment mean or offensive, just stop. I don't understand why that's so hard. I don't think (most) of the other people posting about this consider these jokes oppressive - it's just that they can be mean, and they'd like for those comments to stop. In the end, if someone says a comment makes them feel uncomfortable, they should be respected. Would you continue to make jokes in real life about people if they openly said it made them feel uncomfortable?
A bit tangential, but this entire situation reminds me of the part in Hidamari ga Kikoeru when Deaf people were making fun of Taichi when he visited their game company just because he couldn't understand sign language and could hear. Just because the Deaf community is a minority that is discriminated against doesn't make it ok for them to make fun of Taichi, much like how just because the LGBT+ community is a minority that is discriminated against down't make it ok for them to make fun of straights for being straight.
TLDR: Treat people how you want to be treated, no matter their sexuality (or race or gender, etc). If someone asks you to stop doing something because they find it mean, then stop.
Anyway, I hope I've made my position on this clear and have not offended anybody! Let me know if there's something I've overlooked or don't understand :)
P.S. I've seen many people mention that straights don't have the right to feel disrespected by such comments because the LGBT+ community goes through so much oppression and being offended makes light of that. I am not denying the problems the LGBT+ community faces. Some of my closest friends are queer, and I know first-hand how much the possibility of not being accepted by family and friends stresses them out. However, using the fact that many queer people are at risk for their lives just for being who they are as a defense for continuing to make jokes that upset straights is overkill and can be disrespectful both to those who have lost their lives because of their sexuality and the LGBT+ movement itself.
about real life problems
so someone exposed that one person who was preaching about "heterophobia being real and lgbt+ people victimizing themselves" for liking homophobic and transphobic stuffs and no their account is deleted lololol
btw heres the proof:
https://imgur.com/a/6kIaxVJ
btw heres the proof:
https://imgur.com/a/6kIaxVJ
about weird period
Even with the ladies this is such a taboo subject and I get it I mean yeah, for some can be disgusting but isn’t it normal?
about i need help
TLDR at the bottom
Ok first of all just to point out, I’d always have these little arguments about his caringness towards our friendship, or simply what felt like a lack of care. Sometimes I’d feel like he didn’t care, but part of me felt like I’d stir something up just because I want a reaction out of it, something that’d make me feel special or something that’d justified our friendship. But the final straw was last year. Last year instead of his caringness that I felt like was a problem, this time I felt like how much effort he gave into our friendship was a problem. Then again, in the back of my head I feel like am I doing this because I want him to say something that’d make me feel wanted by him? One night we had one of these arguments and it ended with him saying I was the negativity. I didn’t think much of it then but afterwards, and how he probably was right. So as an impulsive response, I said bye without knowing what I just did. He said the same. Some months go by and everyday I missed him. Getting some of my friends advice I would text him wanting closure or something like that. I don’t really remember the texts but one thing for sure I remember was telling him I was gay for him and had a crush for him a while now. I thought my confession would justify my actions and he would understand. I would never know though. I ended the conversation asking if we can talk the next day irl. I waited the whole week because of how shy I was. But once I asked him he just said he’s leaving and left. I felt low and gave up. That was the last time we talked. It’d been 7 or 8 months since then and I still miss him. Idk why but rn I don’t want him back as my crush but as a friend. And I don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know how he’d even feel.
TLDR: I’m missing my friend that I had a crush on but the thing is we ended our friendship a while ago.
Any advice would help. And feel free to ask questions. It’s my first time asking advice like this (⌒▽⌒)
Ok first of all just to point out, I’d always have these little arguments about his caringness towards our friendship, or simply what felt like a lack of care. Sometimes I’d feel like he didn’t care, but part of me felt like I’d stir something up just because I want a reaction out of it, something that’d make me feel special or something that’d justified our friendship. But the final straw was last year. Last year instead of his caringness that I felt like was a problem, this time I felt like how much effort he gave into our friendship was a problem. Then again, in the back of my head I feel like am I doing this because I want him to say something that’d make me feel wanted by him? One night we had one of these arguments and it ended with him saying I was the negativity. I didn’t think much of it then but afterwards, and how he probably was right. So as an impulsive response, I said bye without knowing what I just did. He said the same. Some months go by and everyday I missed him. Getting some of my friends advice I would text him wanting closure or something like that. I don’t really remember the texts but one thing for sure I remember was telling him I was gay for him and had a crush for him a while now. I thought my confession would justify my actions and he would understand. I would never know though. I ended the conversation asking if we can talk the next day irl. I waited the whole week because of how shy I was. But once I asked him he just said he’s leaving and left. I felt low and gave up. That was the last time we talked. It’d been 7 or 8 months since then and I still miss him. Idk why but rn I don’t want him back as my crush but as a friend. And I don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know how he’d even feel.
TLDR: I’m missing my friend that I had a crush on but the thing is we ended our friendship a while ago.
Any advice would help. And feel free to ask questions. It’s my first time asking advice like this (⌒▽⌒)
about helping with problems
I suffer from Insomnia for 9 yrs (pretty bad hahaha) i did take medicine in past, and try several methods, but at some point nothing makes me to fall asleep, so i wonder if anyone here have the same problem as me and somehow can help me with their experience, and to be honest, I know im helpless... (￣∇￣")
about real life problems
I responded to this in a different post, but im going to copy my answer from there and paste since some think Heterophobia isn't a real thing because straights aren't oppressed.
Heterophobia is the discrimination against straights BECAUSE they are straight. It doesn't mean we are being oppressed when we use the word.
If a gay can hold prejudice and hate towards someone BECAUSE they are straight, then its considered Heterophobia.
Just because it doesn't have the history homophobia has behind it doesn't mean it isn't any less real. Because by definition, Homophobia is hating against someone because they are homosexual.
By definition, Heterophobia is hating against someone because they are heterosexual.
Denying Heterophobia is denying the fact that it is possible to discriminate against someone specifically because they are straight.
Homophobia does not mean being oppressed. However, with homophobia throughout the masses, it is usually associated with oppression. Heterophobia does not mean being oppressed either. Homphobia has just been widely associated in as oppression, because those who are homophobes oppress. However, that does not necessarily mean Homophobia means oppression, because it does not.
So yes, it is real. Saying it isn't is like saying discrimination against white people isn't racism.
TL;DR: Homophobia does not mean being oppressed, nor does Heterophobia. It is legitimately possible to discriminate against someone for being straight. Just because Heterophobia does not have the same history as Homophobia doesn't make it any less real.
Hopefully this brodens your understanding of both phobias, and even allows you to do your own research.
(On a side note, goddamn did oppress come up a lot. )
Heterophobia is the discrimination against straights BECAUSE they are straight. It doesn't mean we are being oppressed when we use the word.
If a gay can hold prejudice and hate towards someone BECAUSE they are straight, then its considered Heterophobia.
Just because it doesn't have the history homophobia has behind it doesn't mean it isn't any less real. Because by definition, Homophobia is hating against someone because they are homosexual.
By definition, Heterophobia is hating against someone because they are heterosexual.
Denying Heterophobia is denying the fact that it is possible to discriminate against someone specifically because they are straight.
Homophobia does not mean being oppressed. However, with homophobia throughout the masses, it is usually associated with oppression. Heterophobia does not mean being oppressed either. Homphobia has just been widely associated in as oppression, because those who are homophobes oppress. However, that does not necessarily mean Homophobia means oppression, because it does not.
So yes, it is real. Saying it isn't is like saying discrimination against white people isn't racism.
TL;DR: Homophobia does not mean being oppressed, nor does Heterophobia. It is legitimately possible to discriminate against someone for being straight. Just because Heterophobia does not have the same history as Homophobia doesn't make it any less real.
Hopefully this brodens your understanding of both phobias, and even allows you to do your own research.
(On a side note, goddamn did oppress come up a lot. )
about real life problems
i just want to ask why some people want to be oppressed so bad? people are losing their lives and human rights but you are losing your shit over a harmless joke when you could've easily ignored it, making a big deal out of nothing and calling it oppression. I understand you feeling offended but saying you're oppressed just bcoz someone made a joke about you on mangago app? seriously
about real life problems
So lately I'm getting a little bit worried about my turn on's. Since a young age I have been into yaoi even before I was interested in sexual stuff like sex,masturbation and I have never masturbated reading yaoi or thinking about it. I'm bisexual and I don't have the problem with woman but when it comes to men I'm interested in stuff that happens in yaoi quite often or in yaoi manga's I have read a lot of. So I like it when someone pushes me against the wall or on the bed like what happens in a lot in yaoi. I also find it a turn on when men are very dominant and pushy but what worries me the most is that I actually like yandere kinda guys.
When they are obsessed with me and very stalk ish. I know this is dangerous because guys in (real life) like that are capable of doing some scary stuff. Right now I'm in a situation where something that happens in yaoi sometimes is happening in real life and a normal person would not get involved but it low-key turns me on being in that situation. I'm pretty sure later in life I'm going to regret this but my curiosity is getting a hold of me.
Does anyone expierences the same or has experienced it? Do you maybe have advice for me?
When they are obsessed with me and very stalk ish. I know this is dangerous because guys in (real life) like that are capable of doing some scary stuff. Right now I'm in a situation where something that happens in yaoi sometimes is happening in real life and a normal person would not get involved but it low-key turns me on being in that situation. I'm pretty sure later in life I'm going to regret this but my curiosity is getting a hold of me.
Does anyone expierences the same or has experienced it? Do you maybe have advice for me?
about real life problems
Hello, all you need to know about me is that I've watched yaoi for a long time now and ... I am a straight girl.
I saw a post on here by a gay man and he was brutally attacked by a bunch of people from the straight and the LGBT community.
I think that he made a point in a few matters and missed points on others too.
The yaoi community is growing larger everyday and with large communities comes trouble.
So what I want to emphasize here is this:
To all the girls who read yaoi. Please enjoy it but DO NOT compare real gay people to yaoi !
Yaoi does not equal gay. Yaoi is just like porn. It is not real life. So please please do not go to gay couples and ask them if they're "top or bottom" or any of those other questions that would make anyone uncomfortable.
You can safely consume yaoi without harming the lgbt community. Always remind yourself that yaoi is not what gay relationship is !
I understand it can be frustrating to be attacked only for liking yaoi but please you need to understand that there are a few ignorant people who paint a bad picture for the whole community ! So please try to paint a good picture by your behavior if you want people to consider yaoi unproblomatic.
And for all LGBT people I apologize if i seemed like I'm speaking up on ur behalf but I was only giving my opinions and thoughts on the matter if there are other things you want to add please do !
I saw a post on here by a gay man and he was brutally attacked by a bunch of people from the straight and the LGBT community.
I think that he made a point in a few matters and missed points on others too.
The yaoi community is growing larger everyday and with large communities comes trouble.
So what I want to emphasize here is this:
To all the girls who read yaoi. Please enjoy it but DO NOT compare real gay people to yaoi !
Yaoi does not equal gay. Yaoi is just like porn. It is not real life. So please please do not go to gay couples and ask them if they're "top or bottom" or any of those other questions that would make anyone uncomfortable.
You can safely consume yaoi without harming the lgbt community. Always remind yourself that yaoi is not what gay relationship is !
I understand it can be frustrating to be attacked only for liking yaoi but please you need to understand that there are a few ignorant people who paint a bad picture for the whole community ! So please try to paint a good picture by your behavior if you want people to consider yaoi unproblomatic.
And for all LGBT people I apologize if i seemed like I'm speaking up on ur behalf but I was only giving my opinions and thoughts on the matter if there are other things you want to add please do !
about real life problems
This is the neutral zone, where we talk, drop, and share memes.
Drop some funny ones yall.
Drop some funny ones yall.
about i need help
I don’t know if anyone will see this but whatever. I have been pretty depressed since about September. I have lost interest in thing I used to love because they were too much effort. I struggle to get up everyday, because it just seems pointless. I find that I have a very short temper and small things make me angry. It took me a while (until about a month ago) to recognize what was going on, and people always say that recognizing your problems is the first step to fixing them. But it got really bad two moths ago, I was staying with my mom at the time and I was on a erratic schedule where I wouldn’t sleep for three days straight then I would sleep for 18 hours. My mom called me lazy, got frustrated that I wasn’t awake to do things. I want to get help but I don’t know how to tell her. I feel like if I tell her she will feel like she failed somehow, and she is already really stressed lately. Anyone who has some wisdom is welcome to answer.
about have sex
can we pls stop talking about this whole heterophobia and oppression stuff. i really miss seeing actual questions, not saying we cant ask questions about this kinda stuff but its really getting old and this site is being super toxic rn. it doesnt make sense how a community that likes the same things are hating each other right now. yea we have different views but damn can we all just enjoy some manga (and maybe some good questions as well)?
also i know that this isn't really a question but people keep putting fuel in the fire and that fire is gonna burn this whole website down if we can't control ourselves. im saying this cause im seriously tired of seeing us fight with each other
hopefully there are others that think like me and i dont get trashed on
also i know that this isn't really a question but people keep putting fuel in the fire and that fire is gonna burn this whole website down if we can't control ourselves. im saying this cause im seriously tired of seeing us fight with each other
hopefully there are others that think like me and i dont get trashed on
about not having a boyfriend
Just something with a good plot, please. Any genre is ok with me (psychological, horror, shounen, isekai, shoujo, gender-bender, etc).
Just not Harem/etchi please, those are the only genres I'm not too fond of.
Just not Harem/etchi please, those are the only genres I'm not too fond of.
Hola humans I need some frnds to talk bout anything and btw my name is akira for short aki I like reading yaoi doing art playing game and watching anime ╥﹏╥
about give life advice
Hey guys. I’m an incoming freshman who is about to attend the university that I have always been pressured to go to, and I THOUGHT I wanted to experience it. However, the degrees that are “worth” receiving are basically all STEM related. I even chose Chemistry as my major because I thought it was interesting, but is it really something I want to have a career in? Ehh, nah... I only applied to the university in the first place because my counselors and family always told me that it’s a great opportunity to receive a bachelor’s degree. But now that I have properly researched the jobs I can get straight out of university, I realized that I don’t have to go through all that work to get a rewarding job. I could literally just get an associate’s degree for jobs that a person with a bachelor’s degree could also get, with pretty much equal pay. I’ve been looking at all the medical programs in some community colleges, and they honestly catch my eye more than the programs/majors at my university do. The university I’m attending is fairly prestigious, but I really don’t think it’s worth the trouble and student loans. So I’m at a dead end here. I’m not sure what to do. Should I just be miserable for 4 years and maybe get a job that has equivalent pay to one which requires an associate’s degree or just drop out right away? I haven’t done any classes yet, but I am enrolled in some special summer classes, and my orientation is tomorrow. I just feel really discouraged at this point thinking about my future and it’s giving me so much anxiety. I am extremely fickle and don’t know my career path at all. I just wanna drop out, but I don’t want to disappoint my family either.
about tea lovers
Are you a tea lover (and when I say tea I mean beverage made from tea leaves with water or milk) ? Tell about your favorite type of tea or your favorite way to drink tea (sitting at the dinning table; behind your working desk; in the cozy place covered with plaid or something)! Do you like to drink tea with milk or sugar or just tea? I'm really curious about tea lovers all around the world! Let's spread love and drink tea!
As for me, currently, in this summer time, I'm into Chinese tea, especially light oolong and green! Recently I discovered that you can make a cold brew tea and it was an amazing experience for me! ლ(´ڡ`ლ) I normally drink tea two times in a day, right now I'm drinking green tea, it's great for hot summer days! I prefer to make a small tea ceremony for myself, even if I don't have any fancy china - I still like to arrange table a little for tea ceremony - like put something beautiful on the table to keep me a company.. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
As for me, currently, in this summer time, I'm into Chinese tea, especially light oolong and green! Recently I discovered that you can make a cold brew tea and it was an amazing experience for me! ლ(´ڡ`ლ) I normally drink tea two times in a day, right now I'm drinking green tea, it's great for hot summer days! I prefer to make a small tea ceremony for myself, even if I don't have any fancy china - I still like to arrange table a little for tea ceremony - like put something beautiful on the table to keep me a company.. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
about get to know you
Not really a get to know you question, but I wasn't exactly sure what category to put my question. As an Asian-American athiest who grew up in a Christian household, I'm not someone who had to or was presented with the idea of wearing a hijab or headscarf. I'm not very well verse on the cultural and/or religious significance it is in women who do wear them (correct me if I'm wrong, but I have also heard men are wearing them too). For those who do wear them, I would like to know what is your reason for wearing them and your feelings about wearing them? For those who wear them due to their religion, do you feel that you shouldn't have to wear or hijab or headscarf, or do you feel that it's an important part of your religion? If my question has offended anyone, I'm sorry and please know it wasn't my intention to.
about not having a boyfriend
No boyfriend for 19 yrs in my life. It just sucks. Well, there were some people who'd be interested in me, but I just push them away. Truth is I am a typical asian girl and I am not good at expressing myself, therefore I am 'a shy girl'. I am junior in an university this year and I really want to have a boyfriend because I see that as an opportunity to open myself to males. When I see someone who is attractive and they talk to me, I lose my ability to talk and acts the opposite way I want. I dont think of it as a very critical problem, but still I really want to change. Any advice? Haha (￣ε(#￣)Σ
