Mameiha's Topics (609)

I live in Japan. When I got here, people thought I was gay. Even though I am a really feminine girl, but they thought I was lesbian due to the fact that I do not mind perverted jokes and I do act like a ''guy'' every now and then. For, since I have lived alone for the past few years, I have learnt to do the work that usually the other gender do.
I only realized they thought I was gay when they asked me about my girlfriend, that was when the misunderstanding was cleared..and the treatment didn't change. Nothing changed. A coworker's daughter is gay. They get along.
There are trans in Tokyo.
Now, what causes prejudice here is when a feminist who comes saying that ''Gay and women needs more rights!''.Women here do not fight for such rights because they are happy the way it is, they don't see the need to disturb the peace. They might move if they are bothered, but when they are bothered. Homosexuals are just a fellow human being, so what right are you talking about? Should it be like Brazil, where I was criticized and publicly humiliated because I didn't want to sleep with a woman, so her friends started to try to beat me up? When a guy protected me, they started to insult me. They said it is their right. Is that the right you are talking about? To have the right to humiliate and beat someone because one is straight, and the other is gay? Or are you saying japanese should now have specific pronouns for trans people? If you changed your gender, then just use the pronoun for your new gender.
Education? Whatever gender you are, whatever preferences you have..as long as you live here, you do have the right for basic education. College already depends on your parents, since it costs money. Or should there be a ''gay kit'' just like in Brazil, where a book was delivered to public schools and taught kids aged
6 to 8 on how to have homosexual sex..and hetero sex? It even had a hole on the place where the guy's genital should be, so that you could put your finger in and then put it inside the women's vagina. I have seen that book, and, honestly..I can't fathom that someone came up with that. It smells like pedophilia.
Understanding? Sure, there is prejudice, like there is everywhere. As long as humans exists, there will be prejudice. I suffered prejudice myself in Brazil for being a straight, asian descendant. But who needs understandings here the most are men, not women. Thousands of men committed suicide or died due to overwork. They put pressure on what a men should be and should do. They need understanding. For so much pressure that it is put on them, it doesn't surprise me one bit when you read an article about a japanese guy who married an anime idol or something. It is just their way of letting everything out, without hurting anyone..when no one could help them. Women here can be whoever and whatever they want. They do whatever they want. I have seen many, but many lesbians japanese girls when I go on small trips. If they walk around like that, not scared in the least, what does it say to you?
My point is, please don't judge a country without ever actually living there, working there. I am honestly tired of so many people judging Japan by what they read online, or because of manga(Not saying you did). Yes, some people do study about it or live in a certain country for six months or so. Once I have read a french men's point of view of brazil after living in Rio de Janeiro for 5 months. He said that Brazil isn't so dangerous as they make it look like. Dear, he obviously lived in a good neighborhood and went to good restaurants from his review, so obviously it was ''quite'' safe. I have a friend whose neighbour's daughter was violently and repeated raped because..her mother didn't pay the monthly fee to them. They were never arrested because the mother was too scared of calling on the police..because even if they were arrested (pretty much doubt so) they would be released in no time. And the revenge game would be worse.
I once studied in Norway, and I have met many,many good people. Some of them studying about other countries as well. Politics and such. I can't say how wrong they were. I am not calling them idiots, but when you don't speak the native language, there is no way for you to have an actually accurate point of view of said country. No matter how much you study about Brazil, the source of information that you can find in English are mostly just translated out of big news websites. And they report lies. Now, I did meet one man who had an actually accurate point of view of Brazil. He did his reading and judged it based on Brazilian's corruption and not based on his own government. When we talked about gays, he just said ''Not my business'. And indeed, not his business.
Most people who are against gays that I have met so far were very few in numbers, and they were all over 70. You can't possibly ask a 70 year old elderly to just change the way he had thought was right up to this day. If they are open to it, fine. If they are not, fine. But they won't harm others just because of their opinions, they will just keep it to themselves and be polite. Honestly, I believe some of them are just too tired to think about such matters, they just want to laze around, so let them.
I am not saying you are one of those people who just harm others while trying to protect your ideals, but to those who do: Let them be in peace. Youngsters I have met so far can't care less if you are gay or not. If you make yourself out to be a victim, then everybody will be a villain to you.

First, allow me to thank you for sharing your personal experiences and your point of view with me. However, I must also clarify that I am the furthest thing from some feminazi who thinks that abusing the rights of others is a right they are personally entitled to. I am bi-sexual and have both friends and family who either live in Japan currently or were born and raised there but live here in the US now. My comment was not specific enough regarding the rights of which I speak and for that, I apologize. I will clarify that now. I'm not talking about the right to abuse others for using the wrong pronoun, mind you. I'm talking about basic anti-discrimination rights. To not have to fear losing your job, your home and your social status for being homosexual. That is really all I'm wishing for forJapan. You said you are hetero and female, correct? However, you were misjudged by others and thought to be lesbian. So, really, you've never had to live anywhere with the fear and concerns of a lesbian woman. That is not to say that the fears a hetero woman faces are any less severe or traumatizing, but they are different. More so if we are discussing the fear and concerns of a gay man versus those of a hetero woman in Japan. Men, in general, are expected to hold certain qualities and fulfill certain expectations in the eyes of society in all cultures, more so in traditional, conservative cultures. Women are also saddled with these societal expectations, but when women break them, it is seen as an act of modernity, empowerment or even bravery. For men, breaking these societal expectations is viewed with disdain and they are seen as useless or "not a man". So, a woman being lesbian is not viewed with the same severity as a man being gay. Though, admittedly, in cultures that are extremely severe in their conservativism, neither men nor women who are homosexual are treated well. They are hardly treated as human. Japan, obviously, is not one of those cultures. You met with acceptance in Japan and that is wonderful, but just like the French man you mentioned who felt Brazil was not as bad as people say, this was only your personal experience. One person's anecdotal evidence of their personal, positive experience is no more proof of Japan's goodwill toward homosexuality or Brazil's safe environment than another person's anecdotal evidence of their personal, negative experience. Therefore, I look at the laws and the legal rights and privileges or punishments for homosexual people in certain cultures. In Japan, homosexuality is not part of the sex education curriculum for students. Where it is mentioned, it is listed as a fetish at best and condemned as an abomination at worst. There is little education regarding homosexuality and what is disseminated is skewed propaganda. There are no anti-discrimination laws regarding homosexuality in Japan. A school, employer, landlord, etc can expell, fire or evict a homosexual simply on the grounds that they are homosexual. This one human right, the right to be treated as an equal to all other humans on the planet regardless of differences, is the most basic and fundamental right that all people must be afforded and it is not afforded to homosexual people in Japan. You mentioned that you encountered people who "like things the way they are" in Japan. Might I remind you that prior to 1965, there were a lot of people, both black and white, who wanted to maintain the status quo where African American people were discriminated against, segregated and not allowed to vote. Wanting to maintain the status quo doesn't mean the status quo is a good place to be. Humans naturally fear change. It is part of our survival instinct. However, without change, we cannot grow and adapt to new environments and living conditions. The idea that one's skin color or which sex they prefer to have sexual intercourse with makes them "less human" than another is abhorrent. Living in fear of being discovered to be different is no way to live. In Japan, and many other countries, this is how homosexuals live their lives. I am quite well aware that manga is fiction and purely fantasy driven by the writers imagination. That is why I research the facts and discuss them in comments. Japan is not the worst place on the planet for homosexuals to live, but they are about 30 years behind many of their first world brethren countries in regards to acceptance, education and understanding of the subject.

Unlike that frenchmen, however, I had a terrible car accident and who took care of me was my..elderly boss who thought I was gay. I am not speaking just from my personal point of view. I am speaking by my and what I could gather from the people around me and from what I could hear and discuss with fellow gay people in japan
And the point of being satisfied of being the way it is, I can't even begin to point it out where you did not understand what I have said. Women don't need to get any type of new rights here becausr they are happy. That's what I said they don't need to fight for. But many, many feminists come here saying they are oppressed by men, so they say that. What I said was, if women here were oppressed like that of not having freedom, they would fight for a change. But people who have not lived here, worked here, wouldn't know. And unlike that frenchmen, I am not here visiting and lazing around. I am here living, working, making friends, visiting the good and bad side. Literally.
And by not wanting change, what is wrong for a 70＋ year old person to just want to sit down and laze around? What is wrong with that? They fought hard their whole lives, so let them rest. Stop pushing gays rights down people throats when they barely know what gay is. Most of the japanese society are elderlies who worked hard their own life. As a caretaker, I can't accept it when feminists, mostly north americans, come here and try to shove that down their throats. Comparing it down to when blacks were a ''matter'' is down right stupid. The levels are completely different. If the problem went down to that, I am pretty sure the other countries wouldn't stay quiet.There are provinces here that allow adoption of your gay partner under your surname. Not marriage, but a step.
If they want to fight, they will fight. But foreigners should learn to keep their mouths shut and stop trying to make a big mess out of something that is not so big. If there was a movement and they were trying to help, fine, but for you guys to start the movements yourselves in a country you don't live and work in, is downright selfish and egoistic. You still don't live here. I have never been to the U.S. But I do have friends there. If you ask about your country and it's people, I can only say that your president is Trump. Not because of I lack knowledge, but because I won't simply speculate and say it out loud what a shit hole I think the U.S (and brazil) are. Because I have never been to one of them.
And again, people don't need special rights. Humans needs rights. No matter of your colour, gender or sexual preferences. No one needs special rights unless if they are mentally or physically disabled. We are all humans and should be treated as such. If what you want is acceptance, that is a matter of the people and not of the government.

I've been living in Japan for 14years now and I gotta say I also don't really notice the discrimination towards gay. I actually think they're more forgiving than other countries. At the very least, they don't have death penalty for being gay. And there are lots of ways to circumvent the lack of law like the mentioned adoption process. I haven't really thought about it but the comment above is very convincing to me. I don't think making special rules for gay community is being anti-discrimination. Making a law is in itself discriminating already (IMO) and it hasn't proved much effective for other countries too. And yes, It's about the people and not the goverment. there are bad seeds everywhere but Japanese are more understanding and forgiving IMO too. I think the government could be more forgiving too like allowing same sex marriage if they are not facing a real low birth rate crisis. But it is a real national crisis and despite the economic superpower image, the truth is that it is in danger of collapsing due to the low birth rate and high elderly rate. The productive age rate is barely if not at all keeping up with the tax needed to support the elderlies. Most of the new policies are focused on solving that because that is their biggest crisis that is happening right now. Not sexual preference freedom or anti-discrimination rights.

This is just my two cents but basically what you're saying is that "don't project America's social problems and societal issues (and also ways of solving, countering and resistance) onto another country." I wholly agree.

But sometimes Americans get overzealous, and they think they're on a mission to save the world. Don't define what's right for another country based on your country's standards. Societal issues are unique to each country, and your country's solution to certain problems might not work for other countries.

I just want to add a point, that no matter if you live in a country that is known for one thing or another. A different view of a place can also be accurate. If you live in a good part of a neighborhood/city, than you will most likely say your country is good or so on. That goes the same vice versa. Places, just like ppl tend to be defined by how an individual themselves perceive the other. More often than not when the majority has similar experiences of a place, that is how the place becomes defined. Not to say that is the whole truth. So it doesn't matter how long someone has lived or studied somewhere. And you are coming on a little strong about no understanding without knowing the native language. That's pretty biased especially when knowing, and overlooking that people come to understand things pretty well with minimal language interpretation through common sense, an open mind and understanding of actions, concept, behaviors/gestures and gaining a grasp of the culture in which ever city they are learning about. Even reading fact news allows one to grasp the culture of said place. In America alone right now is a perfect example of such a thing.

i see wut you mean and kinda agree, but i feel like it was alright the way it ended. i doubt the main characters would have ventured that far into the murder because, in the end, they'd be dealing with yakuza members, and honestly regular people wouldn't be able to put a front with them. despite how the main characters are used to violence, it's still just sexual play and different from actually committing a full-blown crime (( which i think the mangaka briefly pointed out...

i do think the young boss stabbing miki in the end was a bit sloppy tho..

What is really sad is that this story was so poorly done, that less than a week later, I can't even remember what happens. So, I can't even discuss it with you. I guess that says it all though.

I could say the same thing! I miss the characters from If You Hate Me So so fucking much...

I never cared for Hye-sung in If You Hate Me, but since he was a side character, I could deal with it. He is spoiled rotten, selfish and is incapable of taking responsibility for his own choices and actions. That is a personality type that I just can't tolerate, both in real life and fiction. Perhaps, when this manga is complete, I will pick it up again and witness the beautiful transformation of Hye--sung from spoiled brat to mature, responsible young man. At least, that is my hope and wish. In the meantime, I will enjoy some other manga and keep touching back to If You Hate Me.

Hyesung may indeed be a spoilt brat, he is still interesting as a character though. Imagine some goody-two-shoe guy who's a a student of some top tier university, leading a happy life and even having a FWB on side whom he adores dearly. Sounds sweets. And that guy's life suddenly does a 180 degree turn as he ends up living with some druggie, being completely dependent on him and even becoming homeless for brief moment and considering prostitution!

That's some rather unexpected plot twist, innit.

Regardless, even that spoilt Hyesung from If You Hate Me So was way better than the Hyesung from Love Is an Illusion. Jesus.

I'll definitely grant you that. I can't remember the last time I had to drop a manga/webtoon because I genuinely couldn't stand a character. It really made me sad. If You Hate Me was so incredible and I absolutely adored the MCs. I was really looking forward to reading Love is an Illusion. Ah, well. C'est la vie.

Apparently we'll read anything.

Right?! I know I read every yaoi title I come across. You never know, I have seen some crappy cover art and lame summary for manga that held a hidden gem inside. So, I suffer through these with hope in my heart for the next one to be better. LOL

And when we come across the gems, they are that much sweeter.

So true, so very true. (⌒▽⌒)

It was quite heartwarming to read plus i love all the friends who didn't get all awkward or treat them any differently. They were honestly just good friends Yay supportive ppl!

I hope more mangaka follow this one's lead and begin writing stories that feel more like they are written by someone who has at least one gay friend or family member, ya know? Stories that encourage acceptance and understanding, rather than shove the "hetero is better/hetero is correct" bull down your throat. Yaoi readers seem to get younger everyday, it's better to teach them understanding and acceptance through the genre than to keep pressing the old "straight" line. Seeing secondary characters treat openly gay, or even quietly gay, friends with kindness, respect and understanding makes my heart sing. It feels so much better than the typical ridicule, name calling, fear or "you just need a girl" lectures.

I in general totally agree but I do also think that the times it is shown as not accepted is good too for a few reasons. Like it can show them how u might deal with it better if u r the one being picked on Or and i think most importantly, it could show some people a mirror of how their words and actions coukd truly effect someone. Sadly i have come across many ppl who don't seem to grasp how their actions truly effect others
I think my favorite ones have a mix of ppl, some who accept, some who dont and some who dont care lol. Makes it realistic and dynamic

You make an excellent point. Grasping how one's words affect others seems to be a talent a lot of people lack, this is true. Learning through example in a manga can be effective for some. Others, however... Well, honestly, there's no helping some people. They are the way they are and little will change that. I think having older manga with homophobia and prejudice in them allows younger readers to see what things were like before their time. Homosexuality is widely accepted in most liberal countries, but it hasn't always been that way. Here in the US, just 40 years ago, the public attitude toward homosexuality was little better than that of Japan right now. So, as long as the reader has perspective and can distinguish between past and present views, having homophobic characters can be beneficial.

True but there will always be those who still dont accept it even in more progressive communities. I woukd really like to see more manga where it shows how they deal, positively, with bullying. So many manga seem to just have them fighting it out or the one being bullied dropping out of school n such. Which that last one just always breaks my heart. I think it would be really interesting to show how they over come it instead
Well maybe someday everyone will just learn to live and let live. If it isnt hurting anyone just let them b

I'd like to see that in more manga too. A protagonist who stands proud when asked if they are gay by a co-worker or classmate and says, "Yes, I am. What's your point?" Then proceeds to educate the narrow mind. That would be an awesome story. I've seen one or two like that, but more would be a blessing.

I don't think Zero is 13 years old?

Regarding Zero's plan I think you may have forgotten about the fact that Zero left the group, after Love left. Though he is manipulative, his plan was not to lose Love..

Zero and Love both, in the flashbacks, are described as being in their third and final year of middle school - what most in the US would call junior high. It would be 9th grade if you count all the years from 1st to 12th consecutively. Making him 13, maybe 14 at most. The mental and emotional difference between a 13 year old and a 14 year old only seems great when you are 13 or 14. From an outside and adult perspective, they are so close as to be identical.

I think you are the one with the misunderstanding. This isn't a friendly group of guys that hang out together at karaoke and McDonald's. This is a gang and they are depicted as nothing like "Love's Army". They are depicted as far closer to a real gang. You don't just quit a gang because you "don't feel like it anymore" or because your heart is broken. Zero's disappearance from the group would have been brought on by A.His being arrested, injured or suspended and unable to attend school, or have freedom to move about, for an extended period of time - like Lion. B. His expulsion from the group by fellow members - this typically ends with the leaving member severely injured or dead. C. He moves up in rank in a bigger, stronger gang or D. Graduation/Moving far away. Nothing else. Even graduation will still keep you bound to the gang if you remain in the same school with the same people. Moving away is also only a temporary hiatus from being in a gang, unless it is extremely far away. They found Love, didn't they? We don't know why Zero left the gang, they only mention that he did. We also don't know if this is true. The phrase, "He left because of you.", can be interpreted in many ways. Was the person lying to Love to lure him back through guilt or a false sense of relief? Did Zero get suspended and has blamed it on Love? Did Zero have to move away to escape trouble and the gang blames it on Love? Did Zero get nabbed by police for something and the gang thinks Love gave the police information? Did Love figure out that Zero was planning to have him stab the "boss" and warned the guy ahead of time which lead the boss to put Zero in the hospital instead? Did Zero leave his old gang to lead a bigger, stronger gang thanks to Love's "help"? We only know that Love is blamed for being the reason Zero left, but we don't know the details of that reason. Not yet. Whatever the reason is, it won't be because he "cared" about Love. He is not capable of such feelings for anyone except himself. If he were, he certainly wouldn't volunteer the person he "cares for" to be a sacrificial rape victim for the boss of a rival gang, just to gain favor with him. Nor would he put the person he "cares for" in a position where they may be forced to commit, at best, assault with a deadly weapon and, at worst, murder. Ask yourself if Peach would do that to Love. Those are not, "Gee, I made a mistake. Can you forgive me?", situations. There's no going back from that. Look, maybe you dig the bad boy type and find it hard to see the truth for what it is. That's cool, I dig them too, but Zero is NOT a bad boy type, he is a stone-cold, serial killer type. There's a big difference. With the "bad boy" type, the bad side is all an act and the "soft side" is who they truly are - like Peach and King. The only "soft side" Zero shows is all the act to manipulate others or to APPEAR to be a good guy. The "bad guy" is who he is through and through. Zero won't save an abandoned puppy in the rain, he'll stomp it to death and tell everyone watching, "It was for the puppy's own good." Learn this distiction now, through manga, because you never want to be involved with the second type in real life.

I am not that familiar with the Japanese school system, but it seems like Love and Zero met when they were about 13 -14 years old (second year middle school), but Love is 16 when he meets Peach and the gang. And we don't know when exactly Zero asked Love to stab/get raped by that guy. We just know that they are maximum 16 years old at the time..

It's true that we cannot yet confirm, if Zero really left because of Love, but that is what other members of Love's previous gang think, and that's the best clue that we have for now. That's why I believe that Zero's disappearance is related to Love's, but only because he needs Love's fighting skills (what else does Love have to offer to a gang?). However, you are over analyzing what I wrote. I never disagreed with you that Zero wasn't a calculative sociopath, and I never said that Zero left, because he ''misses'' Love or something like that. He only needs him for fighting, and my personal guess is that his status is dependent upon having Love by his side, and that something went wrong for Zero/the gang after Love left, and now he is needed, so things can be fixed.

Also, I had to laugh at the last part. I don't dig bad guys (≧∀≦) I prefer the cute type..

The Japanese School system consist of three levels - 6 years of elementary school; 3 years of middle school and 3 years of high school - four if you count university. That isn't a guess, it's a fact. But I think you have missed my point entirely. I wasn't trying to determine Zero's age. Children in middle school range in age from 12 to 14. What number falls between those two? That's right, 13. Zero didn't get his position or learn to be this conniving two weeks before the flashback. He's been doing this for a while. I'm almost 50, so whether a kid is 12 or 14, they are a thirteen year old kid because emotionally, mentally and psychologically, they are all the same. And for a kid in that age range to be that ruthless and conniving is pretty impressive. So, unless Zero is 30 years old in middle school, my statement stands and is still valid, since I was never trying to calculate his actual age to begin with. I was using the mean (middle) age for middle school students.

Perhaps it is the fact that Love's name is what it is, but no matter how many times I read your reply, it felt like you were saying Zero wanted Love back due to his feelings for him. It's strange how putting a familiar word in as a name can change one's perception of a sentence. My apologies. I understand what you mean now. And I'm glad I could give you a laugh.

Ah yeah, I get your point now. Thanks for clarifying and for the laugh ;)

This is the shit i need in this fked up comment section
There's such a heavy theme going on
And there're so much focuses on things that don't really matter.
As you said, rape, prostitution, and smtg bout cheating before meeting(how does this even work??). Of course rape is inexcusable, what about prostitution that's supposed to be embarrassing or kept hidden? Prostitution could be something that was the only option during dire times, and just because majority of people frown upon it doesn't mean it's a bad thing? Even in the manga where gm says that boy has helped him through difficult times.

The entire theme of how miscommunication and insecurities can be dire and greatly destructive is so obvious like you said. And it's so frustrating bc so many other mangas have the same treatment. "g a s p was that just rape? Let me forget about everything the manga is trying to convey and focus on that!!!!" Ofc, rape is again, not supposed to be condoned, but at this point, youd think that people who read yaoi mangas would stop commenting about it on every single decent story with the element in it.

Also dk how this has more dislikes than likes but this is really something that should be present in more comment sections bc u def put the feeling into words. Thank you u_u)

No, it is I who should be thanking you! It is rare for me to get positive feedback when I comment like this, but this manga and this mangaka don't deserve the lame reviews because of one scene where the seme attempts, but in the end restrains himself from, being sexually forceful with his uke. This wasn't smut or hentai that lacks any theme aside from making itself into fap material. This manga is also based on a BL game, making the flow and plot things that are dictated by the game's canon. This mangaka took a BL game and turned it into a valuable relationship lesson! Do readers know how hard that is?! It really burned my ass to read half-assed comments about rape and prostitution. I'm a rape survivor and, because I worked for 20 years in the adult entertainment industry, I know many prostitutes and escorts personally. I view their circumstances as "There, but for the grace of God, go I." I can't judge their circumstances, or judge them for their choices, because I could have, just as easily, been in those circumstances myself. Anyone could. Life is not a fairy tale and it isn't fair. You never know what could happen to you tomorrow that may lead you to have to make those choices yourself.

As for the "cheating before you even met", don't ask me! Apparently, you can only ever have sex with one person in your entire life and if that person doesn't love you, you must remain celibate until death... or so it is, as many comments say that, anyway. LMAO Innocence in a young person is refreshing and a good thing that should be kept as long as possible, but naiveté like that about love, sex and relationships is dangerous. Bad people will use that naiveté to manipulate and hurt you. Ask me how I know! LOL

Media and social media have twisted the conversation about love, sex and relationships into man bashing, slut shaming and cries of rape if a person is so much as looked at. It is as if we were somehow transported back to the Victorian age! It really makes me happy that I grew up in the 70s and 80s, but I fear for my grandchildren's future. They are already expelling grade school students for sexual assault if they peck their crush on the cheek! Sex is part of the life of any mammal and, like it or not, humans are mammals. Our bodies are built for it and our minds and bodies crave it. That doesn't mean we have the right to just take it where we please, but it also shouldn't be something we are made to fear.

Thanks, again, for the lovely compliment and your words of support. It is rare to have an articulate and level-headed response from a fellow reader. I sincerely enjoyed reading your comment and I hope we can chat again.

Thankyou, this really sums out my annoyance towards these people who kept commenting on each and every manga in this website only because of rape contents.

I mean, the rape in this scenario was used to emphasize insecurity, these children literally doesnt understand what the author was trying to emphazize here. They need to stop politicizing manga contents it's just annoying.

They literally want the stories to match their ideals, and they kept badmouthing them when theyre reading this illegally in this site, like no shame at all haha ╮(￣▽￣)╭