polinsesi's Topics (335)

Yes, is him

Hey, It’s BDSM. People have different fetish and desire. It looks painful but some people get pleasure from pain. Those who enjoys BDSM are mostly masochist and sadistic. If you don’t like this kind of stuff then don’t read it then saying things afterward. You’re gonna get hate for that.

Then don’t read it and saying stuff afterwards*

I don’t know how it is for other people. But for me the thing is: if you love your partner and are in a monogamous relationship, and if you have a kink (no matter what it is, there’s so many), you’re gonna want to share it with them. That’s also love - trusting and sharing intimate things with your partner. And for those who do it, they need to be comfortable (either giving or taking), so there’s no discomfort, they take pleasure in it.
Of course you can separate love and sex, but you can do that in all circumstances, not just with bdsm. People who love each other might express themselves through it, people might fall in love with each other because of it and people can do it just for the sex, it’s not black and white, there’s a lot of scenarios. And of course, bdsm is not for everyone, if you don’t enjoy watching and experiencing it’s fine, it’s just not your cup of tea. But don’t say what’s love or what it’s not, because it’s different for everybody.

I didn't say I don't like it... did I? but now that I'm thinking about it... I do.
I don't know anyone who feels pleasure from pain... do you? If they do, they must be really... "special".

Let's talk about it in all logic first. What is pain? Pain is a message that our body sends us in order to inform us that "something" is dangerous or bad. exp: Babies that would go and touch fire. And it's even what permits us to survive in this world. exp: People with diabetes have a lot of risk of amputation, when not treated cuz they don't feel pain anymore.

Wait, what was I trying to say? Oh right, pain isn't something that's supposed to be pleasurable by nature. So all this doesn't seem very "natural".
And I assume all what I'm saying. :')) don't feel sorry for me

I'm not trying to shame people who do bdsm stuff and all... I mean I don't even care, I wouldn't treat them differently... but I hope what I'm saying here will let some people think about this subjet some more deeply. ^^

Even the webtoon's agreeing with me though. That seme wasn't born a masochist but became it... he said it himself :')))

I actually was very curious about it. Watching it is obviously very... arousing. ^^'
But I didn't say it wasn't, but I only stated the fact that I became uncomfortable with it when there are feeling involved.
So I was actually expecting more than just: "There are people like that. If you can't get it, you just can't." That's really dumb. (and don't tell me that's not "exactly" what I said, you brought a point, trust etc., but it still doesn't explain the core of the matter)
I was really interested in trying to understand.

Yeah but I think what the other two are saying, while (according to what you said) you might not get pleasure from pain, others do and it doesn’t make it any less of love and doesn’t make the person “special”, it’s just what they like.

No, that’s not what I said, that’s what you got from what I said. And I even said precisely that it’s not black and white and that are a lot of scenarios/circumstances that are involved. And I’m sorry, but from your comment I didn’t get the feeling that you we’re trying to find more about the subject.
I actually do bdsm with my boyfriend and I’m a switch (meaning I’m both masochist and sadist). If you’d like to ask some questions feel free to do so. But please don’t say that I’m “special” xD I’m just a normal person.
What do you want to understand? What makes you confused? How can you love someone and hit them? Is that it? - I’m trying to understand what you want to know.

Exactly (⌒▽⌒)

Yes, exactly. To hit a person you like... isn't it a bit contradictory? In that logic, inflicting pain to others should bring them pleasure...? "others" I'm not even speaking abou the person you love... :')

I'm really actually struggling with that. :')) I'm a medical student, I fainted the first time I saw someone get blood taken from them. I don't believe I'm afraid of blood, but seeing people feel physical pain, gives me a physiological shock every time. (meaning I faint it I don't go breathing some air)

Yeah... so I'm sorry if I sounded a bit... how did it even sound...? :p But, I was just dealing with my own emotions. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, really. I'm studying a lot of psychological stuff, medical and all... and it just didn't make sense to me... ^^

People face pain and stimulation in different ways. Our bodies aren’t the same and even more different are our thoughts and experiences.

For example, following what you said about the blood: since I was a baby I never had problems with needles or any medical act. Most doctors found it strange that I didn’t cry about it and when I was a kid I was just interested in why and how they did it (vaccines, taking blood for analysis and so on) and I’m still like that. I didn’t take pleasure in it, it’s a medical act and I was a kid xD but it didn’t bother me to the point of crying or complaining like most kids my age. But since then I also had medical acts that were very very painful and I was not interested and not feeling anything besides pain and I just wanted it to end. So...there’s different kinds of pain. Or at least there’s different type of ways of perceiving pain and different degrees of pain as well.

It’s the same in bdsm. There’s different degrees and ways of doing it. There are people who get off of any pain, other people get off of a very specific pain (in a certain place, done in a certain way) and there’s also people who like verbal abuse (mental pain?). So it’s a wide range, you can’t put everybody on the same boat. People tend to have very specific kinks (they usually request specific things to their partner, so we can’t generalize).

Now to the main point (sorry for deviating). About feelings and bdsm. When your partner asks you for something, if that behavior doesn’t make you uncomfortable and you’re able to do it, you’re giving them something they want and like, so there’s no need to feel bad about it. You’re making your partner happy. But you have to be happy and comfortable as well, otherwise it won’t work. You’re sharing feelings (you’re not just giving or taking). At least this is my experience. There are things my boyfriend isn’t comfortable doing to me or be done to him so we don’t do it. It either works for both or no deal. As all things when you’re on a relationship - communication is key. Talking about what you like, dislike, what are you able or not able to do for the other person is essential in order for everyone to be happy.

So in summary - it doesn’t feel bad, because they’re feeling good and you want them to be pleasured and happy. It’s not contradictory because you’re not hitting them in order to hurt them because you want (like assaulting them just because), it will hurt but it will hurt how they want and because they want - there’s a want and an objective specifically defined by the receptor.

For me it’s difficult to do something like this with someone I don’t have any feelings for. Since, at least for me, this is something that requires a lot of trust and understanding. Sex for me doesn’t work without communication and trust and that’s something you develop, it’s not immediate.

Now, if you ask me why I like pain or what made me like pain, I really can’t explain it. I consider myself kind of adventurous in bed, so I asked my boyfriend to try different things and I started to enjoy bdsm so I kept exploring it.
Might’ve been because of my personality, or maybe I handle pain differently (don’t think so), or other factors (there’s a lot to consider). But in the end the only thing I can tell you is that - it feels good (when done in a certain way, in a certain place, by certain people) xD.

You can study it, there’s been a lot of studies about it already, from the medical/psychological point of view.
But I guess it’s one of those things where if it’s not affecting anyone negatively, there’s no need to worry about it.

If your curious about it, read more about it and you can also talk to people who do it. There’s a bunch of documentaries on it as well. It’s a very interesting topic. And it’s definitely arousing xD but it’s also difficult to explain because it’s something very personal. And since it’s a taste, it’s not logical. Tastes aren’t always logical (actually they’re almost all illogical xD). Do you like sweets? Yes? Why? Cause it tastes good. It’s not logical, it’s what you feel about it.

And I can tell you even more for you to be even more curious/confused: I’m a law student, I know exactly what’s abuse, assault, different offenses related to beating someone up xD I know what and how they’re qualified and what are the consequences. Ive even had a class on forensics about autoerotic asfixiation (ahahahah the irony, right?) I learned quite a lot about not hitting someone and about someone hitting me. Soooo I shouldn’t want any of that, right? But the thing is - there’s consent and it feels good (⌒▽⌒). I get what I ask for, if I get or give something that I didn’t ask for that’s when there’s a problem (mentally, physically and legally).

I apologize for the long text ╮(￣▽￣)╭. Hope it helped somehow.

First thank you for taking your time and writing all this. It was very detailed and I learned a lot. Mainly about the trusting part and sharing.

It was a bit stupid for me to say this wasn't love cuz... it hasn't a fixed definition. So if I can't get it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
However, for me personally, I can't imagine myself doing it. My definition of love can't handle it. :')))) But who knows what the future is made of.

Btw, emotions are generally stemming from logic. Maybe, it's a bit hard to believe when you don't take your time analyzing them. But it's actually very logic.
About the sweets things... you know, when you wanna eat it, it's as is your body is asking for energy.
Most of the time, it's way more complex. But you can question everything you're feeling, and ultimately find and answer. Right, an answer, not the right answer, cuz it's not easy to do so.

Well I'm really happy we can talk about something so personal, and I know it's not easy to do so, and I really want to apologize if I was too harsh at the beginning, it wasn't my intension.

It’s interesting to analyze it and discover how and why things work how they work. Of course there’s always a scientific or psychological explanation for all the things that happen in our bodies. But most of us don’t really care about why and how it works, we’re more focused on the feeling and pleasure that it brings.
Nonetheless it might be important to ask yourself why and how sometimes, specially if you have any kind of problem with yourself or with your relationship (are you really doing it just because it’s pleasurable or is there something else negative hidden beneath the surface?). But if you’re ok with yourself and your partner, if everything’s fine, there’s no point in always questioning it, it’s a more “go with a flow” “do what makes you feel good” kind of a thing.

And it’s ok if you don’t understand how and why people are able to do it and it’s also ok if you’re not capable of doing it as well. Each person has their own expectations and notions about love and sex and also their own boundaries and limitations. What’s a reality for me might not be for you and vice versa, and that’s fine. I just wanted you to understand that there’s a lot of different kinds of ways to express love and to experience sex. And that it’s not so weird, at least from my point of view it doesn’t feel weird, but I can understand why other people might find it so.

If you’re really curious and one day you’re up for it, give it try. You don’t have to do a bunch of crazy things, you can start with small things and see how it feels. But if it’s not your cup of tea, don’t mind it ╮(￣▽￣)╭. It’s only good if your interested in it, if you’re not interested you’re not gonna lose anything by not trying it XD.

Sorry for the long text again, I’ll stop now xD I also apologize for not getting your intention in the first place. Thank you for reading and understanding my point.

omg i accidentally disliked, pretend this has 6 likes have a nice day

thanks :')

not at you slut shaming single people,,, imagine telling people who have sex that they don’t have self respect mmmm embarrassing

How can you deform what I said so much... I didn't say all uke who have sex, but only those who do that without any feelings involved.
I call a slut a slut, how do you want me to call it?? :'))
Also I'm only speaking about fictional characters, more precisely the uke here, cuz I'm fed up with the trope of the slut uke.
I don't care at all what people in real life do cuz it doesn't concern me, and I care less of what people do in their personal lives. :')
However, if the ukes feel offended by my worlds, please tell them to come to me to complain. ^^

ngl most people project their real views onto fictional people, if you’re homophobic towards a fictional character then naturally everyone would assume you’re comfortable being homophobic in real life, same goes with slut shaming
and you literally said have some self respect about ppl/characters who have sex without feelings who btw are totally single (although unacceptable to do it when in a relationship) and free to do whatever they want, so no, i’m not twisting your words here. you’re insinuating that ppl lose respectability and should be respected less just because they have one night stands
get over the fact that characters who have sex without feelings involved does have self worth, in fact it’s less respectable to simply conform to pointless societal norms

Sort of. Depends on how you see such topics as "virginity". One can argue that the aspect of virginity is bullshit because it's your own body, and you can do whatever you want to it. Some argue that it's to be seen as a vessel, and something precious. I don't care for neither. It all depends on how people keep to their principles. It's shown in the story that he never gave up to just anybody, because he saw it as something not to be given up easily. I think it's admirable when someone keeps to their principles. Does that make sense?

So you think people who read all that shotacon are pedophile, and those who enjoy non con manga are rapers... or would like to rape people... or simply don't consider rape as a bad thing... so I still think fiction and reality are two different things... ^^'
Let me give you an example, I enjoy reading BL, but I don't think it's okay for two man to make out.
PS: You can think I'm homophobic, but it's just prohibited by my religion. So I won't do it myself. I don't care what other people do, so I won't try stopping them or talking them out of it. Everyone's free to do what he wants in this life.
Also, in this case, I'm just able to empathise more with this type of MC.

On another note, in real life, I think sex in something to do to express your love... and all. It feels kinda pointless and empty without love... especially for women. (who don't have a strong libido like a man)
Isn't it common sense that being loose isn't really something virtuous, respected in the society... or something to brag about... The new morals have already reached such a low... I'm not just inventing anything, I'm only repeating the "pointless societal norms".
However, you want to deny these "pointless societal norms", they won't just disappear because you want it. There is a reason for the existence of each belief, dismissing everything like that and feeling superior, isn't it a bit too extreme..? ^^'

Slut shaming... it wasn't really my purpose. I apologize if I may hurt anyone by saying that. I don't want to hurt people really. I just don't think behaving this way will bring them good things in life. I would like to wish for everyone a happy existence. ^^

Which reminds me, I studied in my philosophy courses about the concepts of sacred and profane. (I may make some mistakes in using some terms cuz I studied philosophy in French so I'm only roughly translating the concepts into english).
So, according to that theory, the body is sacred. In opposition to money.. or other things that are profane.
That way, they believe a sacred thing should not be sold or bought, or treated lightly, or inflicted harm on. I don't remember the details though, it's already been 5 years... x)

I am also studying philosophy. Honestly, philosophy are just one's individual thoughts the were made into ideologies. Virginity is seen by many as a vessel, while some see it as a pointless label. Everyone should follow their own philosophy in life, because truly, topics like this has no right or wrong answer. It just depends on intention & one's principles.

"So you think people who read all that shotacon are pedophile, and those who enjoy non con manga are rapers... or would like to rape people... or simply don't consider rape as a bad thing... so I still think fiction and reality are two different things... ^^'"

This is me not trying to attack. But if someone enjoys the idea of rape or sex involved with children, then they are predators. This is because they enjoy the idea of it. Even if it's just fiction, why would someone enjoy the thought of something like that? It shows early predator behaviour, and can develop in someone's mind into something worse. There is scientific studies that show that. What are your thoughts on that?

I'm studying medicine, but I'm very interested in specializing as a psychiatrist. That's why, I now adopted that point of view. After, talking to a lot of patients and studying the basic functioning of the human body. I strongly believe sex should be taken as lightly.
Some people may develop serious trauma out of it, not only in extreme cases like rape. Human emotions are so complex, some are not even able to fully understand themselves... or how they would react in this or that situation.
I'm just maing my own conclusions out of facts i personally noticed... ^^
Speaking in general, there must always be some balance in our life.

shouldn't be taken as lightly* :')

I do believe that we shouldn't take sex as lightly either. Safe sex should always be considered no matter what. It's also much enjoyable with someone you actually trust. But I don't force these opinions on others since I don't have a right to tell them what they should or should not do

Well... it depends. ^^
Logically, I would say, yes.
But it's not always so simple right? ^^
First, we can't generalize, because it's just impossible.. :') 100% is a myth
People may simply be interested in how the subject is approached and developed and such.
Also, if we are only talking about the sex (making out) part, I've read somewhere (already forgot x)) that due to people in the modern society can easily access pornographic videos and such, the stimulation needed slowly started to increase, it's purely physiological. It's mainly acting like a drug, the more you use, the more you need later to achieve the same level of satisfaction...
In my case, i'm strangely ok with yaoi, i mean not bothered, but not at all with porn.

I think we should approach the subject more generally, people read fictions usually to evade reality, to learn more about things... etc. Depending on the type of fiction of course. ^^

Back to the topic, enjoying yaoi shota content just for the fact that there is a shota is a bit problematic... Also, there are some stories where you feel that the author is forcing you to adopt his own point of view... (That's why I'm not so very comfortable reading a manga knowing it's an autobiographical text... sometimes it can be really well written, it really depends on the intelligence of the author ^^)

No I disagree. Because most people who read stories that involve fictional (romanticized) rape, shota-con, etc... are reading it for the entertainment of it. Simple as that. If you are remotely interested in anything near it, then you are a predator. Fiction or not.

Yaoi is also considered pornographic media, it's just not live porn. All pornographic medias do affect the brain in some way. Studies have shown that it increases hyper-sexuality (which eventually leads to erectile dysfunction, because it's an addiction), insecurity (because pornographic media just alternates your brain to the fictional sides of sex. Your sense of reality slowly becomes destroyed because you are only infatuated with the fictional side of it. Sex will will never be enjoyable for you), and over all brings more anxiety in your life. Which can lead to depression or other mental illnesses.

It's not complex, it's just simply like that. I am not writing off porn itself, but these are the effects of it, if you indulge it on a normal basis. It's just not healthy. But some people need it to wack off, so I don't want to judge others that are interested in it.

And if you are especially interested to shotacon, or anything that involves the romanticization of rape, you are exposing yourself especially to the worst kind of porn. Which is early predator behaviour.

I didn't want to force anyone, I was just glad to finally read a manga with a uke like this. I usually enjoy reading drama (yaoi/bl...) so I was just relaxing reading this one.
Even if I enjoy drama, I can't help feeling frustrated...
About the self-respect part, I think I was specifically referring to a manga I read just before this one, but I don't remember with one...
Ultimately, i just wanted to say that I wanted to read more manga with a uke like this cuz it's so healing...
I don't mean to dictate for people how to think... it didn't even cross my mind. ^^

However, some people feel so susceptible. I just wonder what are their motives... That's why I didn't remove my comment, cuz I don't think I worded it wrongly... if people want to interpret what I said in a specific way, i'm really curious as to the reasons behind that.
(Of course, I'm not assuming anything, cuz it's wrong to assume things about people while knowing nothing of them...)
I just have complex feelings about people acting so self-righteously. (I'm the opposite of an idealist person, I can't help it x))

I agree with this, because that's the way I view it too! When I mentioned "forced opinions", I just meant in general. I do not believe that it is wrong to have sex without feelings, but I simply prefer a lifestyle that is not near that.

All your points are valid, however, the first thing we learn in medicine is that each person is unique, and never show the same development to the same disease. In the same way, not every one will be affected the same way. Also, the human brain is something that we still don't understand very well.
However, all you've said is true, if not careful, a person may sink very low. That's why I was speaking of balance.
However, identically, I also think it's better to just discard such self-harming activities. More so, that they aren't essential. It'd be easier to prevent all that then.

Perso, I don't enjoy shotacon... so I can't speak of experience. x)
Complex, because it involves the human body and the human brain, which is an equation where we lack a lot of variables.
The limits of a study, or theory, is when there comes another one to contradict it. Not speaking about the fact that it all relies on probabilities and such laws.

So, I maintain what i said nothing is absolute in life.
However, if I should bring out a judgement, I would say "people who enjoy that or that are just creepy" that's just common sense. And pedophile is no joke...

"All your points are valid, however, the first thing we learn in medicine is that each person is unique, and never show the same development to the same disease. In the same way, not every one will be affected the same way. Also, the human brain is something that we still don't understand very well."

Even if everyone has a "unique" case, media like that should be avoided at all costs anyway. Because we can not predict who's a potential predator or not. It's simply impossible. But the fact remains, if someone is interested in that media, that is, like said multiple times, early predator behaviour. Because it is not normal to enjoy sex that involves non-con (especially violent) & shota-con.

Some studies show that some people are more likely to be a predator than others. They believe that it's possible because of genetics or early childhood development (could be both). Causes of predator behaviour is usually pornography. You usually understand that clearly, if you are indulged in true crime and forensic science as I am (just a hobby, not a professional). Most pedophiles/rapists/murderers' early predator behaviour was the indulgence of child porn or non-con porn.

So there is no excuse if someone reads it. But I'm glad we can agree.

Also yes, it is common sense. But sadly, there are lot of of ignorant people. I find them a lot on this site. They are genuinely sick, but most likely a minor. Which is concerning. I am deeply concerned for most of the people's future as I read what they say.

I agree. Social morals are evolving and not always in the best way...
Most people would just use sympathy and discard all reason and existing proofs just because they can't accept it... :'))
Like they think they can control everything around them, including themselves, but are oblivious to a lot. Their thinking is a bit too shallow, and just too idealistic for me...
And of course they look down on those "pointless societal norms" thinking they achieved a higher understanding, epiphany... or I don't know what else... x))
Societal norms and values are essentials on which was born our current society. If we look down on them and choose to destroy them, we will lose the foundation of what we've built... the future doesn't seem so promising.
That's why I think it's wiser to understand them first and then adapt them slowly to our current reality, with the recent technological, medical and all the other progress we've achieved until now.

I agree with this fully. Societal norms can be great foundations to a way of life. That is where you learn your morals, learning how to grasp the reality of things, etc... A lot of societal norms can be harmful though.

Some are homophobic, misogynistic, etc. Which I do not support. The world is slowly healing, but also still suffering because of the past. Some parts of the world are much worse than others.

"Slut shaming" can be seen as misogynistic. When people refer to men as "ukes", I tend to get offended, because a lot of women force this heteronormativity on gay relationships. But that is why it can be seen as a misogynistic societal norm.

What societal norms do you support?

I'm also glad we can agree.
I'm a bit worried about people who use emotions and such instead of facts and real proofs to reach their conclusions and to argue...
We can only hope for the best for the future. ^^

Oh man Those kinds of Genre (shota, rape romanticization, paedophilia) exists because there are some people who enjoy those content just for the sake of entertainment not because they want to do something in real life.. Having fantasies and actually acting upon it is two different things ... its like you are saying that people who read dark psychological mystery mangas containing murders and all are basically suppressing their need to kill through indulging into fictional world... But because they read it they are predator... Then all those profiler who are interested in criminal must be considered as predators too...

We aren't saying that for sure.
But reading those and enjoying them aren't very good for a person's psychological health.
Whether it is the cause or the consequence...
There are studies demonstrating that, I'm not saying do not read them, idk because I look down on people. But I'd say don't read them, like I'd say, please stop smoking to any patients... not that I'm better.

Also, I have a friend who suffer from depression, who enjoys dark stories... sadly, I think it's only aggravating her condition...
It doesn't mean that her condition is caused by the manga, only that it can amplify it.
No kidding, just reading "good night punpun" can also lead me to depression...

So I believe it's about psychological health, and that everyone should be careful with that, depending on their own sensitivity.